Hello everybody! This is Jack from
tofluency.com, and we are back with
another conversation that is going to
help you learn real English. Now, today
we're going to talk about Valentine´s Day
and romance.
Yeah! Valentine's Day and romance because
we are filming this February. Now, be sure
to check out the description because
I'll leave a list of the different phrases
and vocabulary that we use in this
lesson, and we're going to try to speak
at more or less our normal speed and
this will give you great listening
practice. So, Valentine's Day can you tell
everyone what Valentine's Day is?
Valentine's Day is February 14 of every year.
It's a holiday which is supposed to
celebrate romantic love, so the love
between two partners, and it's a
holiday where there's sometimes a lot of
pressure to do things in a certain way
but it can also be quite fun, and as
we were talking about it, we realized that
we had a lot of memories of Valentine's Day from
growing up what it was like to
celebrate this holiday, which is really a
romantic holiday in school - when you're child.
Yeah, and we had some good memories and some
bad memories. I think we're only going to
share the good memories, and one of
the big things is, on Valentine's Day, one of the main
that people do is to send and
receive cards, so let's talk about that -
how you did that school in America.
Yes! Absolutely, and so basically the
whole Valentine's Day celebration was
everybody would buy or make cards for
everybody in their class, and usually
attach a little piece of candy, so...
Oh, candy as well... it came with candy.
Of course! Usually, the most popular ones were
Hershey Kisses and Conversation Hearts.
So both of these are types of chocolate?
No! Well, Hersheys
Hershes is, you know what a Conversation Heart is?
Oh, we call that something else.
Is it one of those little round candy,
like, sweet things with some kind of
message on it... YES! What did we call call these?
I'll leave this in the description. It's gonna...
I can't remember but, yeah, we used to have
these as well... Absolutely, and they would
say a little message like: 'Fax me'
which really dates... Fax me? Send me a fax!
Now it would be 'send me a Snap'.
Yeah, it's probably like email me or
Instagram me. I don't know if it would fit in a
little tiny candy... I'm sure they would fit in.
So, you would attach those to
the card and send them to one person, two
people, ten? The rule was really
everybody in the class. Really? we didn't
have that rule. Well, that was when we were
younger.
And then, as you get older, and it's
less typical to give people Valentine's
unless you are in a romantic
relationship with them. Or you like someone, right?
Yeah, or you like them.
I don't remember sending Valentine's Day
cards to everyone in the class, but I do
remember you would send a card to one
person, basically, and you would put from
your secret admirer.
Really? Yeah! So the idea is that you
don't tell people who the card is from.
Right! A lot of times, though, they would
guess who it is, based on your
handwriting,
I remember... because what
you'd do is you'd give the card to a friend to
give it to them or you'd put in their locker,
you'd put on their desk so they that they
don't know who it is, but you could
always write your name, some people did
write their name too.
So Jack... be honest, how many secret admirer
Valentine's Cards did you send? I used to
send one... one every year.
One every year? I think so...
Sometimes, I was in, you know,
"relationship" when I was 12 or 13, so
I would send a card to that person
obviously. But other than that it was, yes,
sometimes I didn't send them.
Sometimes you didn't But most years you did? I think most years I did.
And how often did you sign
your name and how often were you a
secret admirer?
I can't remember. I remember receiving cards from
secret admirers... plural, but
I don't remember sending cards,
sending, you know, "from your secret admirer"
Ever? Never?
I can't really remember doing it. So, you only gave one
special girl a card every year?
I think so. And you signed your name?
Yeah! Because I was in a relationship
Do you think that there was a, because I
remember, especially once you got a
little bit older, there there was a lot of
pressure to be in a relationship for
Valentine's Day. We didn't have that.
I'm pretty sure we didn't have that.
And it was nothing additional. I don't
remember going on, like a date, around
Valentine's Day or making a big deal (our of it)
Maybe we had presents too... I just can't
remember, but, yeah, I know in America
though, dating is big, and this is
something that we didn't really
understand growing up, watching American
TV, and it's what we learned from watching
things like Friends and Dawson's Creek
that dating is big. What is a typical thing
that people do for a date on Valentine's Day?
Well, it depends, ovbviously, on whether
you're 12 or you're in your forties and
anywhere in between.
Let's talk about...
Let's talk about, you know, adults....
Adults? Okay, probably going to a nice
restaurant. That's typical... So, what you would
consider to be kind of a fancy meal,
where you dress up... we have
our baby here, by the way, you may hear her.
She's very excited about us having
this conversation.
She's trying to join in. Sorry, to a restaurant...
Hi Emma!
You go to a restaurant - probably the most
stereotypical romantic cuisines are French
cuisine. French, yeah. Maybe
Italian, and you would have a fancy
meal with your loved one. Right! And I imagine
things are... it's very difficult to get
into restaurants on Valentine's Day...
Absolutely! I think you have plan in advance.
Yeah! Book in advance, planning in
advance, and you know, take initiative and
say: "Okay, we're going to go to this
restaurant. We're gonna book it in early
January. We're going to go on Valentine's Day...
I think it's different once
you get married, but I know during the
dating stage
there's a lot of pressure on the
male in the relationship, if it's a
male-female relationship to book the
restaurant and get the flowers.
Yeah, it's a lot of pressure.
A lot of pressure, but yet feel like it's generally not the men
who care as much about Valentine's Day.
Typically not... Yeah...
But they... Yeah, I feel like they've got the
pressure to do it and the woman expects
something. Generally, you know now... traditionally
Jewelry, chocolates, perfume.
I wouldn't get perfume.
Yeah, it's a little personal but I mean
I think that people do get it.
I think chocolate is always safe for me
in case you're
wondering. I always love chocolate
and of course, jewelry... By the way, I'm just
kidding, there is no presure on Jack.
No pressure at all. I don't feel any pressure. I've got
a question, though, about dating and
relationships. If you say you're
dating someone, are you in a relationship?
That's a good question. I feel like there's...
you're dating someone in general, you're
in a relationship when you have that
conversation where you say that you want
to be exclusive... So
you won't date other people.
Ok so when you... you can go on a first
date with somebody...
And then if you go on a second and third
day, that's when you would start having a
conversation about: Ok are we in a
relationship?
Yes! and I know like with us, we were...
I.. we can't explain it.
We were traveling around the
world, but we did have that
conversation (We did), and after that, we
were in a relationship.
We were in a long-distance relationship because we weren't in the
same place, so we actually started in a
long-distance relationship and I feel we
you know spend time together in the same city,
It's kind of interesting... But we met each other in person
Which is not always the case now.
Well that's it because things have changed.
In the past, let's go back 20
years, you would have to approach
somebody and ask them the question
directly,
either, meeting someone at a bar, meeting someone through a friend, at a
party, but now obviously online dating
is a big thing. I think online dating
is the way people meet their their husbands
and wives now.
Definitely... It's a huge change. It really is.
It's just, erm, changed the way that people
date and start relationships. Have you
ever online dated? I have online dated.
When it wasn't very popular or
common, I think it was in 2005,
2005-2006. I used to... well, I put my profile up there and
you know contacted
people, went on a few dates, you know. It was fun.
What information about your
profile? So, if I had been looking on
your online profile, what would I see? You would
see a very young version of me with
information about the music that I like.
I was really into music back then.
I think I talked about that...
What bands did you put on your profile?
Bob Dylan, New Young, Artic Monkeys... they're they three that I always remember...
And then, erm, I
think it there was like different questions that
you could ask and answer. And I can't, really, sorry,
I can't remember what I had on that to be honest.
"You can't remember:" I... I choose not to remember
Choose not to remember... But based on your
music profile, I think I would have
wanted to go on a date with you.
Well, I think music is one of the
big things that people ask about first, you know,
What kind of music do you like?
But, yeah, online dating.. it was fun, it worked, you know,
it was okay. I met some people but obviously
I didn't get into any relationships from it.
And then I went travelling and, then, I met Kate
so, yeah. I want to talk
about a date nights because a lot of
people are thinking about having a date
night for Valentine's Day and what some are
typical date nights in America? We're
back
with Emma! Kate, you were just saying
Date night! Date night, and what kind of things that
people do when they go on a date.
Let's just talk about someone who is in
a relationship or someone who is
married... What kind of things do
people like to do? I think that probably
some of the most popular things to do
are to go see entertainment, whether that's a
movie in the cinema or a live band...
Right! So, to go to a live show, to go to
the cinema, the theatre, maybe...
Or to go out for a meal
Yeah, they're the two main things really.
Or bowling? That's an old style date...
That's an old style date
Which is, it was very popular, I guess in the eighties,
Is that right, seventies, eighties...
To go bowling
I think about Greece. Is it Greece One
that they go bowling?
I'm trying to remember - one of the Greases
they do go bowling.
Yeah, anyway, that's what i have in
my head when I'm thinking about, you know, going
bowling. So is that your ideal date?
Bowling? No. What is your
ideal date? My ideal date, I think it would be - what I
really liked about Spain was when you
could just go to a few bars and get a
little something to eat and a little
tiny bit of wine and go somewhere else
and you experience different
atmospheres and it feels like you're
going on an adventure instead of going
to one place and just sitting down for a
big meal, I like to be out and about and
to go to small bars, to stand up, to go
outside, you know, because then it feels like
you've got some movement there, and you
can talk about different things, you know.
That's what I enjoy doing.
We have talked about doing that here
Yes! But we have just never got around to it
Not for a long time...
Well since we've had children, really,
to go bar-hopping as it's called or you know,
restaurant hopping. Yes, it's really fun
to do that, I fell.
What about yourself?
What my ideal date is?
I think (WITH ME!)... Obviously,
First of all, you are the main ingredient in my ideal
date. I think so. Yes, you are.
It would be... Probably to go somewhere outside
if we're considering this as a long date so maybe
to go on a hike or something like that
and then to just get a really casual meal
and maybe see some live music
Yeah, live music I think that's fun.
To go to a concert
So, you've got that sense of going to a couple of
places and movement too.
I just feel like if you're sitting
down at the same restaurant for 2 or 3 hours
it can get a little bit boring and, you
know, it's good to have like different
experiences and move around a lot
or just delicious
I like going to restaurants too but I think
that when we think about, you know, what's the
the perfect date,
that's more you want to do
something a little bit more exciting.
Sometimes, we are restricted for time so
we have to, you know, "okay, we've got an hour and a half -
go to the restaurant" you know, order quickly
absolutely, especially, with an infant
Yeah - I thought I could end with some
love idioms that we can share, we can
have a quick conversation about each one.
I've got three. The first one is soulmate.
Do you believe in soul mates?
I would say that I didn't
believe in soulmates but then I know
this is going to sound so cheesy but you
kind of made me believe in soulmates
because we just connected so immediately
and it was such a coincidence that we
even met. We were from different
continents. We weren't even supposed
to be in the same place at the same time
and we were and we met and we've made a life out of that.
That's a great answer. Do you
believe in soulmates? Not really I know
I'm sorry I haven't really
thought too much about it and you know
and really got into depth with it but
I'm, I feel it's more like: there a certain
amount of people that you're compatible
with ok and if you meet that person then
you have to take advantage of it,
you know, and make it work. Do you believe
in the phrase: "Opposites attract"? Yes, I think
I do
Do you think we were opposites? In some
ways, I mean, yeah there's a big
difference... Different countries and,
there are some things.
And the idea of a soulmate
is that one person only one person.
Actually when just after I met you
and you didn't meet this guy - a guy called Paul
who stayed at the same hostel as us.
He was a mathematician and he takled
about - he worked out that there's I think
it was 1 in 100,000 women who would be
suitable for him.
Wow! And that he would have to
meet so many people and go to
specific places to increase the odds of
meeting one of those people. He got married
recently. Was he the kind of person
that would have a lot of
I don't know, requirements to be.... he was very
picky? Well, yes, from what I remember.
yeah really nice guy, though. I've got another one.
To have a crush on someone -
Can you explain what that means? To have a
crush on someone. That's a good one.
To have a crush on someone is to like them romantically
yeah but a lot of times it's a
secret crush. And it's before you really
get into it, you can't say I have a crush
on getting my wife or my husband. It's
like when you're not in a relationship
with someone and you know... You like them
so we always used to say: like someone
like but when you say it in a certain way like ...
You like someone. And you can also say: Do you
like like that person? Yes we used to
say that too! Do you like like them
or just like them? So, to like
like someone means you have a
crush on someone. I really like that, and
then the final one. To go on a
blind date.
Oh, yeah. What can you explain what that means?
So a blind date is when you meet
someone to go on a date and you have
never seen them before in your life.
So, it's somebody that a friend of a
friend has set you up with or maybe
you met them online and you don't know
kind of what they look like you've never
met them in person and
so that's a blind date. I've never
ever been on a blind date. I have never been on a blind date.
Good, I feel like a good
question to ask everyone is, the soul
mate question... Do you want to ask it?
I want you to ask the questions in
these videos. I know, I like asking you questions,
I feel like you have to answer me too when
the camera's on. Okay! So, do you believe in
soulmates? That there is just one person
out there who is meant to be for you?
It is a great question and
feel free to expand on your answer and
let us know if you have any questions
about the words and phrases we used here.
We've got a lot of things here, you know
to send cards, to get cards, secret
admirers, to go on a date, date night -
didn't talk about needing a babysitter...
Soulmates, have a
crush on someone and to go on a blind.
And once again I'll leave the vocabulary in
the description so you can read this and
learn the words and phrases that we both
used in this conversation. So, thank you
very much for watching and we'll see you
in the next lesson.
Thank you! Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Valentine's Day! Bye Bye!