[MUSIC - BIANCA MERKLEY, "AT THE HEART OF IT"]
[SINGING] I lay here and dream about what might've been.
My heart breaks just to think of it.
And they say that time will heal.
But the rise and the [INAUDIBLE]
The sun and stars remind me that I'm still here.
And at the heart of it, I'm afraid to love and lose again.
I'm afraid of what that might do to me.
The heart exposed is a fragile thing.
Can't help but wonder why
I've been waiting at the starting line,
Just hoping to hear the gunshot fire.
Been trying to make sense of this,
Put all of the pieces together,
But they don't all seem to fit.
And at the heart of it, I'm afraid that I'm not worthy.
I'm afraid I'm not good enough as I am.
Oh, but the heart exposed is where love begins.
I'm learning to hold on by letting go.
I'm learning to die by living a little more.
It takes a little rain for flowers to grow.
[MUSIC - NICOLE SHEAHAN, "WHY I BELIEVE"]
[SINGING] Thirty-three years is all He
needed to live on this earth
To change our lives forever, to show us our great worth.
And though He was hated by those who saw His hands heal,
I know His perfect love reaches out still.
He is why I believe.
He is why I'm free.
He is the one who can strengthen me when I am weak.
And He is why I have hope.
He's everything good I know.
He is why my sins can be as white as the snow.
He is the Word.
And three days was all He needed,
and He rose from the dead.
Our Savior, who was mocked and spit upon, took up His own bed.
And He lives, just as sure as you and I breathe.
And He suffered for each one of us individually.
He is why I believe.
He is why I sing.
He is the sun at noonday that gives light to everything.
And He is why I have hope.
He's everything good I know.
He is why my sins can be as white as the snow.
He is why.
I used to be so much different.
My heart's not always right where it should be.
But I've felt the Savior's power to change my soul inside.
And I know there's a way back because He died.
He is why I believe.
He is why I'm free.
He is the one who can strengthen me when I am weak.
And He is why I have hope.
He's everything good I know.
He is why my sins can be as white as the snow.
He is why.
Oh.
Welcome back to Mormon Channel Studio.
I'm your host, Yahosh Bonner.
Guys, that was beautiful.
That was so awesome.
Thank you.
Would you please introduce yourselves and the songs
that you just sang?
Sure.
My name's Bianca Merkley, and I sang "At the Heart of It."
My name's Nicole Sheahan, and I sang a song I wrote
called "Why I Believe."
And my name's Jordan Benson, and I played cello with Nicole.
Wow, you're a lucky man to perform
with these beautiful women.
No, we're luckier.
That was so great.
So great.
So, first, Bianca.
That song seemed like it came from a personal experience.
Yeah.
Could you tell us a little bit about that?
Yeah.
So I wrote this song a couple of years ago, after my husband
and I had been trying to have children for a couple years.
And we had been able to get pregnant a couple of times
and had miscarried.
And so I wrote that song after having
done fertility treatments and been so hopeful that it
was going to work out, and getting pregnant and being
so excited, and then just devastated at that loss.
And it was--that song, I just, I felt like I was inspired
by the things that I learned.
I think that my relationship with God was kind of matured.
I think I thought of God as someone that gave me everything
I wanted if I was doing all the right things, maybe
kind of like a kid thinks of Santa Claus.
But after that, I felt like I was
doing a lot of the right things, and this was a good thing,
and I really wanted that.
And I felt like I could understand or feel His love
despite what the circumstances were, whether I had a baby
or not.
And so the last line of that song--where it takes a little
rain for flowers to grow--that was the thought behind that
song.
Absolutely.
Well, thank you so much for sharing that with us.
And that song--I'm sure it's going to heal a lot of women,
because that's something that happens.
Thank you for sharing with us.
Yeah.
Of course.
And you know Nicole.
You guys are friends.
We are.
OK, great, great.
And she's amazing as well.
She is.
Could you tell us a little bit about your song?
And that's an original song, as well.
Yep.
Wow.
Yeah, so that's a song I started writing on Easter
a few years back.
I was just reading in the New Testament.
And all of a sudden I was like, "Wow,
this is amazing--that a man who lived over 2,000 years ago
could change my heart and my life so real,
like nothing else that I've ever felt in my life."
And so the song is kind of the words of how the Savior has
changed me, how He's helped me in so many ways,
but mostly to just have a new heart.
There's been times in my life where I felt totally stuck,
and I tried other things to try and help,
and it just doesn't happen.
But the Savior is real, and the change
that He makes in our hearts is very real.
So special.
Music is an amazing tool to communicate, isn't it?
That's great.
I'm grateful for it.
So, Jordan, how do you know Bianca and Nicole?
So I just met Bianca yesterday.
Oh, all right.
[LAUGHTER]
But I've known Nicole for a few years.
We're in the same stake.
And we're on the stake music committee
together, so we've just been playing together
for a few years.
And yeah.
I've been able to go to a lot of places like girls' camp
that I wouldn't get to otherwise.
[LAUGHTER] So--
They love him.
You are fantastic.
You guys--
My pleasure.
It was beautiful.
It was so, so amazing.
Now, how long have you, Bianca--how long have you been
involved in music?
I've been singing and playing, I think probably
since I was like eight or nine.
Oh, wow.
I started playing guitar in high school.
And writing your own original music?
Yeah.
Wow.
So good.
Before, it was about, like, boys that broke my heart.
[LAUGHTER]
A lot of women can relate to that too.
Those songs are great.
Right.
And Nicole, how long have you been?
I started writing about 10 years ago.
So time goes fast.
Yeah, it sure does.
Well, that's great.
You guys are going to play another song for us, right?
We are.
Great.
What song is that?
So we're going to play "My Heavenly Father Loves
Me," the Primary song.
OK, and why did you choose that song?
I chose it because I love that song.
Actually, I was able to have a baby a year and a half ago.
And she was born--
Congratulations!
Thank you.
So I sang this song to her in the hospital as kind
of my nursery, nighttime song.
Well, great.
Well, we're looking forward.
Take it away.
Thanks.
[MUSIC - "MY HEAVENLY FATHER LOVES ME"]
[SINGING] Whenever I hear the song of a bird
Or look at the blue, blue sky,
Whenever I feel the rain on my face
Or the wind as it rushes by,
Whenever I touch a velvet rose
Or walk by a lilac tree,
I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world
Heav'nly Father's created for me.
He gave me my eyes that I might see
The color of butterfly wings.
He gave me my ears that I might hear
The magical sound of things.
He gave me my life, my mind, my heart:
I thank him rev'rently
For all his creations, of which I'm a part.
Yes, I know Heav'nly Father loves me.