-President Trump and one of his closest allies in Congress
have spent the week whining about people who are mean to them.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
♪♪
One of the core themes of Trump's campaign
was that he'd be tough.
He promised to return to an era where people
weren't so sensitive and politically correct,
and he called his opponents weak.
In fact, there was one insult he kept returning to over and over.
-We have a bunch of babies running our country, folks.
We have a bunch of losers. They're losers. They're babies.
Oh, please. Please. Don't be a baby, okay?
I know all these things. I mean, I'm not a baby.
I'm not saying I trust everybody in the White House.
I'm not a baby.
Our companies have been just taken
like we're a bunch of babies.
We're losing our jobs like a bunch of babies.
[ Laughter ]
Babies don't have jobs.
Which means he has fired a baby.
"Take your crib and go."
And, of course, it's not just Trump.
Right-wing pundits on Fox News and elsewhere
have been lecturing progressives for years
not to be so sensitive about stuff like, say, racism,
and they love to use schoolyard disses
they think are really cool.
-America's left-wing college professors
and other snowflakes on campus.
-Tonight, a quiz. Are you a snowflake?
-Actually, most of the snowflakes work at CNN and NBC.
-I don't give a damn
what the little snowflakes think about anything.
-We have a very special guest. A therapy llama.
All these snowflakes in college, they get so stressed out,
you know, they like to pet the llama,
and we're going to show you guys that.
-Oh! Oh, a therapy llama.
Maybe you can bring it to the White House.
It'll blend into the President's hair.
[ Laughter ]
And yet -- And yet...
the guy who called his opponents babies
has spent his entire term as president
whining about people being mean to him,
from "Saturday Night Live" to John McCain to Google.
In fact, this morning, he once again lashed out
at George Conway, the husband of one of his advisers,
Kellyanne Conway.
George Conway is a longtime Republican lawyer in D.C.
who has called Trump mentally unfit for office.
And as always, Trump could not help but fire back.
-He says this -- "George Conway,
often referred to as Mr. Kellyanne Conway
by those who know him, is very jealous of his wife's success
and angry that I, with her help,
didn't give him the job he so desperately wanted.
I barely know him, but just take a look.
A stone-cold loser and husband from hell."
-I'm sorry, but you are the last person
who should call anyone else the husband from hell.
You've been divorced twice, you paid hush money to a porn star,
your affairs were all over the tabloids,
and you misspelled your wife's name.
If anything...
[ Cheers and applause ]
If anything, "Husband From Hell" sounds like the name
of a Lifetime movie about you.
And I hate to tell you, but just like "SNL" did,
they're gonna get Alec Baldwin.
Trump can't let -- He can't let go of even the pettiest feuds.
For example, this week, he repeatedly slammed
the late senator and war hero John McCain.
Trump is still mad that McCain voted against
his healthcare bill with that infamous thumbs-down,
which I have to say is an effective way to say no
to a pushy [bleep] like Donald Trump.
Based on every picture of Trump,
he probably didn't even know thumbs could even go that way.
[ Laughter ]
"Where do I -- So I stand on my head?"
[ Laughter ]
Trump... [ Cheers and applause ]
Trump has been attacking McCain
in tweets and comments to reporters all week,
and then today he complained that McCain didn't thank him
for letting him have a funeral.
-I endorsed him at his request.
And I gave him the kind of funeral that he wanted,
which as president, I had to approve.
I don't care about this.
I didn't get "thank you." That's okay.
-Because he was dead. Man, you know...
I don't know if McCain's a ghost,
but he's clearly haunting you.
Trump's always been obsessed
with even the smallest perceived slights,
but lately he and his fellow conservatives
have turned their attention to a new target -- the Internet.
They think the Internet is biased against them.
In fact, Trump has become obsessed with the idea
that Google in particular is rigged to make him look bad.
-"Facebook, Google, and Twitter,
not to mention the corrupt media," he says,
"are so on the side of the radical-left Democrats."
-"Google is helping China and their military,
but not the U.S.
Terrible.
The good news is
they helped crooked Hillary Clinton and not Trump.
How did that turn out?"
-"Google search results for 'Trump news'
shows only the viewing reporting of fake-news media.
In other words, they have it rigged."
-In fairness to Trump, he probably thinks Google
is biased against him because if you search his name,
all the results are bad.
In fact, if you type "Donald Trump" into Google,
you just get an error message that says,
"Why are you doing this to yourself?"
And it isn't just the news articles that are bad.
Even the "people also search for" tab is damning.
Three of the top results are
Michael Cohen, Robert Mueller, and Barack Obama.
Pretty easy to see the thought process there.
He committed crimes with Michael Cohen
and is being investigated by Robert Mueller,
and can we go back to Barack Obama?
Conservatives...
[ Cheers and applause ]
Conservatives have been whining about media bias for decades.
It is not sincere.
They're just working the refs
because they don't want fair treatment --
they want special treatment.
And now they're doing the same thing to social-media companies.
And the dumbest example of that came this week
from California Republican Congressman Devin Nunes.
He's the guy who was in charge
of the Russia investigation in the House
until he had to step down because he was bad at his job.
Remember him? The guy who looks like
when you open your phone and the front-facing camera is on?
You know, Michael Scott, but somehow dumber-looking?
Like Trump, Nunes has been whining
about social-media bias against conservatives,
but now he's going one step further.
He's suing Twitter for supposedly censoring him
and for allowing fake Twitter accounts to be mean to him.
And he's suing those fake accounts, too.
Nunes, who is also a dairy farmer,
is suing two parody accounts called -- and this is real --
Devin Nunes' Mom and Devin Nunes' Cow.
[ Laughter ] That is right.
Devin Nunes is suing a fake account called Devin Nunes' Cow,
and he's mad because it got too many re-teats.
[ Cow moos ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughter ]
The next card says,
"Audience carries me out on their shoulders,"
but I don't think...
We'll skip it.
[ Laughter ]
But that wasn't the dumbest part of the lawsuit.
The dumbest part was the fact that in order to make his case,
Nunes provided example tweets from the fake accounts,
tweets that until now
most people had never even seen before.
For example, the account Devin Nunes' Mom
posted a graphic claiming that Trump, Putin, and Nunes
were attached to each other like a human centipede.
Nunes put that graphic in his lawsuit.
[ Laughter ]
Dude! What is wrong with you?!
Before you filed this lawsuit, no one had ever seen that.
It's like you passed out at a party,
and someone drew a dick on your forehead,
so you got mad and took a selfie and put it on Instagram.
And to be clear -- to be clear, we here at "Late Night"
would never have made a graphic like this,
and we certainly would never have been allowed to show it on TV,
but now it's part of an official lawsuit
by a member of Congress, and we have to show it.
In fact, and again -- Again, I hate --
I hate that I had to do this.
But legally, I had to have it printed on a T-shirt.
[ Cheers and applause ]
There we go.
We might even sell it in the NBC Store
in that secret room behind the door that says "Weird [Bleep]."
You know, where they keep the anatomically correct Alf dolls.
Just to give you an idea
of how badly this lawsuit has backfired,
in the lawsuit, Nunes' lawyers write
that the account Devin Nunes' Cow
had 1,204 followers.
Obviously, that's a very small number.
But as of this taping,
because of the publicity from the lawsuit,
Devin Nunes' Cow had -- and, again, this is real --
471,000 followers.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
And, by the way, we've had to change that number all day.
When this airs six hours from now,
I'm sure it'll be like a 1.5 million.
In fact, the fake cow account now has more followers
than Devin Nunes' real account.
Even Devin Nunes' actual cows are following it now.
So a Republican congressman
is suing people for being mean to him on Twitter,
and the President is feuding with a senator who is no longer alive.
There's nothing I can say to make you guys feel better but...
can I get you a free T-shirt?
This has been "A Closer Look."