Now look, I know there's a ton of terrible shit
going on in the world every day.
Which is why tonight, I want to talk about something more lighthearted:
Sudan.
Now you probably know Sudan best for two things:
the genocide in Darfur and white savior movies.
You must be the guys from Somalia,
-Senegal? -Sudan.
We're here to make a difference, we can save these people.
That's the orphanage that I'm gonna build in Sudan.
Helping you kids is about the only good thing I've ever done in this life.
You got no idea what I'm saying, do you?
Gerard Butler's like, “I wish you knew English so you could...
hear me whitewash your story.
Don't you know this whole story is about me?”
The kid's like, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Now, as much as I'd like to spend the rest of the episode
discussing the nuances of Machine Gun Preacher,
we have to talk about Sudan
because right now, the country is descending into chaos.
“Gunfire, panic, and chaos penetrate the streets
of the Sudanese capital.”
“Thousands were killed and injured in hours of violence.
It saw troops open fire on unarmed demonstrators.”
“A witness tells CNN,
paramilitaries and secret police laid siege to the protest
using whips, tear gas, and snipers.”
Just this week, Sudan security forces opened fire on protesters in Khartoum,
the capital of Sudan.
At least 100 people are believed to have been killed,
and the numbers keep climbing.
Right now the military is cracking down on a massive movement calling for democracy.
“This was the scene just over a week ago.
Thousands of demonstrators felt comfortable enough
to gather here every day to call for democracy in a country
which has seen nothing like it for three decades.
Today, it's the demonstrators who've been removed.”
This is a critical moment for Sudan.
This is a country with major geopolitical significance,
and what happens in the coming weeks
will set the course for an entire generation.
Just a few months ago, things looked so good in Sudan
because those same protesters managed to help topple a dictator
who had ruled Sudan for decades.
After 30 years in power, President Omar al-Bashir
has been forced out of power by the country's military.
Thousands of people were marching toward
the military headquarters chanting,
“He is a coward, and he has fallen.”
Bashir was in power since 1989.
That's a full Taylor Swift ago.
Yeah, it was a very different kind of “bad blood.”
It broke the Geneva Convention.
Thirty years of Bashir.
That's a long time. Sudan has only been a country for 63.
It gained independence in 1956.
“The world has gained a new nation.
The Sudan, for 58 years under the joint rule of Britain and Egypt,
becomes an independent republic.
And the new flag is hoisted.
Blue for the Nile, yellow for the desert, green for agriculture.”
I love how old school newsreels
always had those massive orchestras playing underneath.
Why don't we still do that?
“There's a new, sobering assessment of how Kim is moving ahead
with his nuclear weapons program.
South Korea's intelligence community estimates North Korea
may have as many as 60 nuclear warheads.”
See, that's way more suspenseful!
Can't you just, like, hear the orchestra?
It's like, “Who will emerge a hero?
Will young Jong Un ever find love?
Tune in next week on CNN.”
You're like, “I gotta watch this.”
Now look,
I know coups in Africa are like trailers for Marvel movies.
It just comes up and you're like, “Another one?
Do I really have to watch this? There's gonna be another one next Friday.”
But when the coup in Sudan happened this April,
the people were euphoric,
because life under Omar al-Bashir was awful.
During his reign, Bashir enacted a strict form of Sharia law.
He locked up thousands of political dissidents
and carried out the ethnic cleansing of non-Arabs in Darfur.
Yeah, Darfur also happened under Bashir.
“His militias scorched earth and massacred his enemies.
Hundreds of thousands died and suffered from famine.
He was indicted for war crimes, crimes against humanity, and genocide.
And in the 1990s, he hosted Osama bin Laden.”
Whoa, whoa, hey.
You can't just throw Bin Laden in at the end like that.
He's not a Snapple fact.
He's like, “Whoa!
Bin Laden and Bashir went to San Diego State together?
Cool!”
Now, here's the sickest part.
Bashir did all of this while dancing like Sudanese Ellen.
Why does all Arab dancing involve a sword or a cane?
What is that?
If you're gonna shake around a dangerous object,
it's supposed to be that ass.
I mean, look at him.
Juvenile would be proud. He's backing that ass up.
You gotta admit, Bashir's thick.
Now on top of Bashir's brutality...
Sudan's economy was also collapsing,
and all of this is what sparked the pro-democracy movement,
which was spearheaded by an organization called
the Sudanese Professionals Association or SPA,
a group led by doctors and local unions.
Now, that's insane to me because I know so many doctors.
Like, if you came up to me and you're like, “The doctors are starting a revolution.”
I'd be like, “Karan's revolting?”
He can't even talk back to his parents.
How is he gonna stand up to the military? Like, you're a Karan.
Like, look, I know you have earrings, but that's the most bad-ass thing...
you've probably ever done.
They're like, “All right, Karan. We stop with the earrings. That's it.”
And you're like, “All right, Umi.”
This is an incredibly diverse group of protesters.
Sudan is made up of lots of ethnic groups.
Historically, Bashir maintained power by oppressing the country's minorities.
That way, his majority-era population stayed in control,
but part of what makes these protests remarkable...
is that Sudanese people from all of these groups,
including the Arab majority,
came together to overthrow Bashir,
and most of these people are incredibly young.
63% of Sudan is under the age of 25.
43% is under 15.
Sudan's flag should just just be three fidget spinners
and one of those S's from your algebra homework.
You know the S stood for Sudan the whole time.
Did you draw that S?
Yeah. It's for Sudan, bro.
The protesters understood from day one what they were up against.
They've seen a failed uprising.
They've chanted “Victory, or Egypt,” which isn't just regional shit talk.
Egypt went through a revolution in 2011.
Egyptians replaced their longtime dictator Hosni Mubarak
with a democracy that elected the Muslim Brotherhood for a year
before it was overthrown by a balder, shinier dictator Sisi.
You know what lasted longer than democracy in Egypt?
Kevin Can Wait, okay?
CBS gave that shit two seasons, the Muslim Brotherhood lasted one.
Sudanese protesters don't want to be Egypt.
After Bashir fell,
the military stepped in to run the transitional government.
They're the ones responsible for the killings this week.
But the SPA is fighting back,
and they're relying on strength in numbers.
They've called for civil disobedience and a nationwide strike
to paralyze public life,
and they're refusing to budge from their fundamental demands.
Civilian government, an end to the brutal militias,
and the empowerment of women.
Before mass violence broke out, women were a huge part of this movement.
“One of the most striking things about the wave of protests
that have swept Sudan since last December
is the huge number of women in frontline roles.”
“‘Tir tir ya Bahshir,’ yells this grandmother as he speeds past.
It seems people are becoming braver in voicing their discontent.”
I love that grandma.
She's just like, “Sometimes you gotta flex on a bitch.”
She's saying that to his car.
What do you think she's saying in the privacy of home?
Now, Sudan is a place where women have faced decades of oppression
with virtually no legal protections, but despite that,
women are coming out in droves, women like Marine Alneel.
She's a Sudanese National who lives in New York
and has been part of the protest in Sudan.
I spoke to her last month before this week's violence.
Now, even though her stories were intense,
she was still hopeful.
Now, you were in Khartoum marching in December.
What was it like?
Since the protests became more and more frequent,
it became part of what the young people would talk about
if they are in a cafe or if they are just chilling somewhere.
Hanging out with friends and you're like, “What were you doing at the last protest?”
Yes, people would share the tricks. What do you use for tear gas?
-Do you guys have protest life hacks? -Yeah.
Before December, most people thought that Pepsi is the best.
You'd be like, “You gotta use Pepsi.”
Not anymore. Now we know that Pepsi is not the best.
-What is the best? -Yeast water.
So you put some yeast and water in a spray can
and then, like, you spray it on your face when you're faced by tear gas,
and that helps.
The life hacks I've learned on Facebook are if you eat a banana upside down,
the bottom part of the banana can be used as a handle.
I know that if you put a hair clip on the bottom of your toothpaste
and you squeeze it and you roll it,
you can get all the toothpaste out of the tube.
That would have been helpful in prison.
- 'Cause you've been to prison. -Yeah.
I would never survive a revolution.
Like, everyone's running from tear gas and I'm like, “Guys,
if you put ice cubes in the dryer, your clothes won't wrinkle.”
For several months...
protesters like Marine Alneel were optimistic about negotiations
with the military, but recently things fell apart.
And it shouldn't be a surprise since the country is run by this guy,
General Abdel Fattah Burhan.
“Burhan was sworn in on Saturday. He was the military's number three.”
“On the plus side, the new chief Abdel Fattah Burhan
is not wanted for war crimes.”
That's how low the bar is for running Sudan.
There's just one question on the form.
“Have you done genocide before?”
And if you answer “no” you're hired.
But Burhan is just a pretty face, okay?
Don't, don't get mesmerized by the mustache and the eyes.
Many people believe that the man who's actually pulling the strings
is his second in command, a general known as “Hemedti.”
This guy is a fucking super-villain.
For years, he commanded the notorious militia known as the Janjaweed,
which oversaw the genocide in Darfur.
“The Janjaweed, which translates as ‘Devils on Horseback,’
were militias drawn from the nomadic Arab tribes in the region.
The Khartoum government armed the Janjaweed,
provided them air support,
and unleashed them on the rebels and black civilian farmers in Darfur.”
Under Hemedti,
the Janjaweed murdered hundreds of thousands of minority Darfuris.
So how do you think he feels about the protesters?
“He was filmed making a veiled threat to protesters
who want to see civilian rule.”
“We must firmly stand up to the ongoing chaos
and build a true state.”
Do we not have a big base? Let anyone here who has a bigger base raise his hand.
If anyone here has a bigger base, raise your hand.
Whoever says that is speaking nonsense.
All right, we get it, bro. You have a huge base.
He's like, “My base is the biggest.” We're like, “Yeah. Oh, my God.
It's the biggest base I've ever seen.”
Doesn't he realize Sudanese people are just faking it?
Now, Hemedti may be the largest obstacle to meaningful change in Sudan right now.
He's a holdover from Bashir,
his forces opened fire on protesters this week.
Oh, and by the way, he's very cozy with Saudi Arabia.
“In his first official visit abroad since the fall of Bashir,
the vice president of the transitional military council,
Mohamed Hamdan Dagalo arrives in Saudi Arabia.
The purpose of the visit is to discuss collaboration between the two countries,
given the current situation in Sudan.”
“Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates
said they're sending $3 billion worth of aid
to the interim-ruling military council.”
Propping up the military government is just the latest collab
between Saudi Arabia and Hemedti.
Sudan has strategic importance for Saudi Arabia.
Now, although the Saudis deny it, Hemedti reportedly supplied them
with thousands of child soldiers to fight the war in Yemen.
By the way,
Sudan has access to the Red Sea,
a route where one-tenth of the world's crude oil is shipped.
Now, normally when someone says the words “oil” and “access” back-to-back,
America gets horny.
Like, our bases get very excited.
But America is pretty much M.I.A. from the region.
The United States will no longer provide indiscriminate assistance
across the entire continent.
Our goal is for the nations of the region to take ownership over peace
and security in their own neighborhood.
Okay, John Bolton, A.K.A, evil Ned Flanders, is basically saying
America wants nothing to do with Sudan.
We don't even have an ambassador there.
And George Clooney doesn't count, okay?
Instead, we have this guy.
He sounds like a four-year-old reciting the Koran.
Like, I feel like my dad is about to hit him with a ruler.
He's like, “Bismillah-ir-Rahman--”
That constipated Chili's manager is Steven Koutsis.
This dude is our highest ranking representative in Sudan.
By the way, I don't understand why he's so scared.
He's filming the video, not ISIS.
You can literally see the reflection of the guy holding the script,
meanwhile they're being watched by the most judgmental painting
in the history of art.
She's just looking at him like, “How the fuck did you get this job?”
Now, America may be phoning it in,
but the European Union is heavily involved in Sudan.
But only out of self-interest.
Sudan is a huge hub for migrants.
At the peak of the migrant crisis, Sudan had around four million refugees
and displaced people trying to get to Europe.
That's why the EU started something called the Khartoum Process.
They say it's supposed to make migration routes safer,
but in reality, the EU pays millions
in aid to African governments and nonprofits to keep Africans in Africa.
They're basically like, “Okay, here's some money,
stay in Africa, don't ever come to Europe.”
Now, here's the thing,
in the case of Sudan, that charity money from the EU
ends up in the hands of border control,
which includes the Rapid Support Forces or the RSF.
And guess who leads the RSF?
Mr. Big Bases himself, Hemedti.
“International human rights groups accuse the RSF of abusing refugees
and forcibly returning them to their home countries,
Ethiopia and Eritrea,
in violation of international refugee laws.”
These people are trying to reach Europe.
So we are assisting Europe.
Assisting?
He's talking about abusing refugees like he's doing Europe's laundry.
Hemedti's like, “What? I'm just separating the colors from the whites.
I'm just trying to help.”
In fact,
RSF is just a re-branding of the Janjaweed.
It's like when IHOP changed their name to IHOB. Remember that?
They're like, “We're IHOB now.” It was fucking stupid.
That didn't just magically make them a burger place.
Just like the Janjaweed being called the RSF
didn't magically make them stop slaughtering people.
The situation in Sudan keeps changing.
It's actually changed so much,
I had to sit down with Marine Alneel again
to find out more about the current state of the protesters.
Now, she got back from Sudan just days before the violence broke out.
What is the reality on the ground right now for the protesters?
What we're seeing now is the beginning of a massacre.
We're seeing the Janjaweed, their rapid support forces killing,
random shootings,
systematic raping.
What has the reaction been from the international community?
The UN Security Council is...
-discussing it, but-- -What do you mean “discuss”?
-They're just having a meeting? -Yeah.
What is that-- Wait. They're just like, “Let me just put something on the Google Cal.
We'll figure it out”?
Yeah, it always seems like Sudan is something that you can...
postpone.
How do you think they should react?
At the very least, there should be strong condemnation
for the support that Saudi Arabia, Egypt, and UAE is giving to the military council.
Okay, I mean, you know in America, they're not gonna denounce Saudi Arabia.
Yeah.
By the time you see this,
the death toll will be even higher.
Khartoum is on lockdown,
and the RSF continues to kill and attack peaceful protesters.
Fair elections seem impossible in this moment,
but somehow the protesters have not lost their resolve.
Is there hope for democracy in Sudan?
It's difficult to be hopeful when you're seeing this level of violence,
but at the same time, it's amazing to see how...
defiant and committed people are to that,
even though it might take a long time,
and more lives might be lost in the way,
but there will be...
a peaceful transition to a civilian government.
So you feel like, no matter what,
you guys just gotta go the distance, there is no going back.
We've come so far. We did. We're--
we can't lose all that we've gained already.
Here's the reality for the protesters.
Their country is caught between the promise of democracy
and the threat of brutal military dictatorship.
But for the first time in 30 years, Sudan is united.
And you know what? Hemedti should be terrified,
because deep down, he knows that's the biggest base he's ever seen.