- What would you like to hear a rap about?
(audience members speaking indistinctly)
Two at the same time.
You said Benedict Arnold.
Who is Benedict Arnold?
(audience laughs)
- [Audience Member] A foreigner.
- Did you say a foreigner?
Wow! How offensive.
Yeah, we don't like him.
Who is Benedict Arnold?
- [Audience Member 2] A guy from American history.
- A guy from American history?
So what you did there, was you said a name,
and hoped no one would really dig any deeper.
(audience members laughing)
Someone who knows American history, who is Benedict Arnold?
- [Audience Member 3] He's a traitor.
- [Audience Member 4] A traitor.
- He's a traitor?
Wow! How long ago?
(audience members speaking indistinctly)
And you're still upset about it? Let it go, guys!
Benedict Arnold, a traitor in the Revolutionary War.
The Revolutionary War was the war of independence.
That was when my people lost to your people, yes?
We don't actually learn about it in our schools, obviously.
There was a minor disagreement and we with drew, peacefully.
There's nothing here for us, nothing here that we wanted.
What happened?
They got angry and threw tea in the sea.
That's all we learn about it.
You threw a hissy fit and were like "No!".
(audience laughing)
Benedict Arnold, a traitor in the Revolutionary War,
that's a great suggestion, thank you.
Someone over there, you said something to do with
North Dakota.
What was the full suggestion?
- [Audience Member 5] Oh, Fargo.
Fargo, North Dakota!
Oh cool, Fargo, North Dakota.
I know where that is!
Fargo, North Dakota, Benedict Arnold, the traitor
from the Revolutionary War, we'll come to the middle.
You guys seem so well-informed about the traitory
and treacherousness.
- [Audience Member 5] - Mud wrestling!
- What was the first bit, mud wrestling?
Amazing.
Mud wrestling, I like it.
Mud wrestling, Fargo, North--
- [Audience Member 6] Oral Sex!
Um, no!
(audience laughing)
My mother would not approve.
That makes it sound weird, uh no.
Okay so, mud wrestling, Fargo, North Dakota.
This wedge over here, what's it gonna be?
- [Audience Member 7] Bad teeth!
- Bad teeth?
All right, mate!
Yeah, bad teeth.
That's specifically a jive aimed at the English, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah, bad teeth.
Okay that really didn't come from this wedge, did it?
Well still take.
We'll get one final one.
Let's make it a quintet what's it gonna be?
(audience members speaking indistinctly)
Shush! Stop being so-- He's just like "losing a war".
Yeah, whatever.
You said "Game of Thrones".
I don't want to spoil anything for anyone,
so I won't take that.
What did someone say?
- [Audience Member 8] Charlie of Scotland!
- Charlie of Scotland.
Bonnie Price Charlie?
Amazing, that's some British history that know one here
is gonna know anything about.
(audience laughing)
Bonnie Prince Charlie of Scotland, bad teeth,
Benedict Arnold, mud wrestling, and Fargo, North Dakota.
I like those suggestions, thank you for them.
This then, to close out the night is a little thing
called a freestyle; made up entirely on the spot
based entirely on those suggestions.
None of it's prepared.
None of it's rehearsed.
It's gonna be pretty cool.
Should we role that tape good sir?
Let's see how we do.
You all seem very confused onto what's happening.
♪ In my Spring Break I know I wanna go off to North Dakota, ♪
♪take a cold break in Fargo. ♪
♪ It's the movie by the Cowen brothers ♪
♪ but I got the knowledge me, ♪
♪ they filmed it not in Fargo un-apology, ♪
♪ to break the illusion, yes, the solution. ♪
♪ They moved it a couple cities over for the filming. ♪
♪ Slighty cheaper rates, that's a fact that you know ♪
♪ if you frequently go to a Cowen brothers show. ♪
♪ They do Q&A's but Fargo, yeah, I can see. ♪
♪ They had a guy who cuts down that tree. ♪
♪ The statue. ♪
♪ He cries unlike an onion. ♪
♪ Man with an ax and his name's Paul Bunyan. ♪
♪ I know very little about him, mysterious American history, ♪
♪ yeah they never teachin' us about the things ♪
♪ that happened and we're still so sore, ♪
♪ a broke enough about losing that war. ♪
♪ Revolutionary the solution to ye, ♪
♪ was to take a lot of tea ♪
♪ and drop it in the sea. ♪
♪ You are like "We would rather kick up a palaver ♪
♪ and drop nice tea leaves right in the harbor." ♪
♪ That's okay, I'm so sad that it happened. ♪
♪ I know one was involved and his name was Sam Adams. ♪
♪ He's a Boston patriot, yeah hardly. ♪
♪ Learned about the others but a great tea party. ♪
♪ But Benedict Arnold he offended you, ♪
♪ hated you yes but, ♪
♪ he was a friend to blue, white, and red ♪
♪ of the union jack. ♪
♪ He was a traitor. ♪
♪ What'd he do? ♪
♪ Stab you in the back, then probably run away, ♪
♪ you'll wanna regress into the past. ♪
♪ Mud wresltin' when I'm getting on the grass with friends. ♪
♪ I like to make it nice and slimy. ♪
♪ I make a big mud pool, circumference not tiny. ♪
♪ I'm like, "Get your bikini's on and get in here." ♪
♪ A very large pool, got big diameter. ♪
♪ It's got the mud, wall to walls. ♪
♪ I see the hot, sweaty action with girl-on-girl. ♪
♪ I'm like, "Yeah, get her in a choke hold or suplex. ♪
♪ You're going down like you do in oral sex." ♪
♪ No, I said we reject that phrase. ♪
♪ Mud wrestlin', whoa, such a mad craze. ♪
♪ I wanna get down underneath the mess ♪
♪ that stuff up, like English teeth. ♪
♪ We haven't got great dentistry in my country. ♪
♪ But that's okay. ♪
♪ I think we'll all agree you get implants, ♪
♪ they straighten them out, ♪
♪ and in LA when you're showing your mouth ♪
♪ they need to be straight and white like myself. ♪
♪ But that is okay. ♪
♪ Bad teeth's not good for your health. ♪
♪ You pick a new set of retainers off the shelf. ♪
♪ You paid for it with money, yeah you need that wealth. ♪
♪ And if your smile is so bright it's to disarm me, ♪
♪ I'm just happy like Bonnie Prince Charlie. ♪
♪ Bonnie means happy, mean filled with glee. ♪
♪ That's another tv show you should all see. ♪
♪ Glee, not Games of Thrones. ♪
♪ It's far too bloody. ♪
♪ I'm not Scottish, but Charlie was my buddy. ♪
♪ (speaking with a Scottish accent) So I'll continue ♪
♪ the rap in the accent. ♪
♪ To the throne of England one and two. ♪
♪ I said it didn't happen, though, losing with the army. ♪
♪ You don't know the history. ♪
♪ Neither do I. ♪
♪ Charlie, not name Charles like the Prince that we got. ♪
♪ He like to wear the kilt. ♪
♪ He would expose his ball. ♪
♪ All the Scottish, yeah they would follow it. ♪
♪ Wasn't quite as good, as fine, ♪
(speaking normally) as William Wallace.
There ya go.
(audience cheers and applauds)
- [Chris Voiceover] Thank you very much for watching!
Please watch more with playlists, here!
Subscribe, here!
Like, comment, all those things, shouting, bye!