>> WELCOME BACK TO THE 85th ANNUAL WESTMINSTER DADDY SHOW.
♪♪♪ >> WELL, IT'S CHRISTMASTIME, SO
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. >> I DO, IT'S TIME FOR THE DADDY
SHOW. >> IT IS.
>> WE ARE FINALLY UP TO THE BEST IN DADDY SHOW.
FOR ANYONE JUST JOINING US, THIS IS A DOG SHOW BUT FOR DADDIES.
>> LOVE THAT. SO TODAY'S SHOW DADDIES WILL BE
EVALUATED AND SCORED ON SEVERAL FACTORS BUT THERE ARE A FEW
ELIGIBILITY REQUIREMENTS. >> IT'S LIKE WE SAY --
>> Both: ANY MAN CAN BE A FATHER, BUT IT TAKES A HOT
MIDDLE-AGED GUY WITH A BIG JOB TO BE A DADDY.
>> OOH, HERE COMES OUR HEAD JUDGE, GEORGINA MALBLANC.
WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'S LOOKING FOR FROM THIS YEAR'S PACK OF
DADDIES? >> OUR JUDGES WILL BE LOOKING
FOR MEN OVER THE AGE OF 46, SALT AND PEPPER TEMPLES, PLAY MONEY
TO THROW AROUND AND SMUG, KNOWING SMILE THAT SAYS I DO SEX
GOOD. >> BRING OUT THE DADDIES.
>> AND WE'RE OFF. HERE COMES THE WINNER OF THE
SPORTING GROUP, WEST PALM GOLF DADDY.
>> GOLF DADDY IS A CONSULTANT WHO LOVES HANGING OUT WE DADDY
WHICH I'M TOLD IS SHORT FOR LOVES HANGING OUT AT THE DOOR.
. >> OH, THAT'S CUTE.
I LOVE THAT. NICE SHOWING FROM GOLF DADDY.
>> HERE COMES MY PERSONAL FAVORITE.
WINNER OF THE TEACH ME, DADDY, GROUP.
IT'S BERKELEY TWEEDY DADDY. >> OH, YES.
THE TWEEDY DADDY OUGHT TO HAVE A LONG, ELEGANT GAIT.
AND THIS ONE DOESN'T FADE. >> NOTABLE TRAITS OF THE BREED
ARE BIKING TO WORK AND BEING ABSOLUTELY AWFUL TO WAITERS.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> GO AHEAD AND BRING HIM HERE.
>> YES. >> TWEEDY DADDY, COME HERE.
AND TWEEDY DADDY RIGHT HERE. TWEEDY DADDY UP ON HERE.
TWEEDY DADDY RIGHT THERE. TWEEDY DADDY RIGHT THERE.
HERE COME TWEEDY DADDY HERE. GET UP TWEEDY DADDY ON HERE.
>> ABOUT THOR YOU PRESENT THE ARGUMENT, THE BETTER I WOULD
RESPECT IT. >> ANOTHER TRAIT OF THE BREED,
BEING AN OBSTRUCTIONIST A-HOLE. >> PLEASE, BRING HIM HERE.
>> PLEASE, DEBATE ME, COWARD. >> THAT'S A DQ.
>> TWEEDY DADDY DISQUALIFIED. GEORGINA'S NOT TAKING ANY OF
THAT. >> SHE NEVER DOES, WINK WINK.
>> STOP. >> HERE'S THE NEXT COMPETITOR,
ALWAYS A CROWD FAVORITE. >> FROM THE WORKING TOO MUCH
GROUP, WALL STREET BUSINESS DADDY.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL BE THERE BUT I PLAYED FOR V.I.P.
PARKING SO I WILL BE THERE IN A MINUTE PERIOD.
>> BUSINESS DADDIES LOVE THE TEXT-TO-SPEECH TEXTING.
>> JUST AN AMAZING BUSINESS ACUMEN.
>> NOW JUDGE IS MANIPULATING THE BILLFOLD.
>> YEAH, SHE'S FEELING FOR THE GIVE OF CASH AND THE FIRMNESS OF
A VERY HEAVY CREDIT CARD. >> I GOT TO SAY, THIS DADDY
COULD GET IT. >> IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT CAN THIS
DADDY GET IT, IT'S ABOUT IS THIS DADDY A CHAMPION?
>> THAT'S RIGHT. BECAUSE ALL OF THESE DADDIES
COULD GET IT. OBVIOUSLY THEY CAN GET IT
BECAUSE IF THEY COULDN'T GET IT, THEY WOULDN'T BE HERE.
>> SO TRUE. >> OKAY.
CAN I SEE THE BUSINESS DADDY, THE GOLF DADDY, AND --
THE ANNOUNCER. >> WAIT, WHAT?
I DON'T EVEN HAVE A HANDLER! >> YOU HEARD HER, GET DOWN
THERE! >> OH, VERY EXCITING TURN OF
EVENTS. JERRY IS THE PEDIGREE BROADCAST
DADDY! MAKES A LITTLE AWKWARD SEX JOKE,
AND HE LOOKS GREAT HOLDING A MIC.
HE COULD TAKE THIS. >> OKAY, GO AROUND.
>> WOW. OKAY, THIS MIGHT BE HOW SHE
WANTS THEM. >> THIRD GOLF DADDY, SECOND
BUSINESS DADDY, FIRST, BROADCAST DADDY!
>> WOW! WHAT A COUP!
JERRY TAKES BEST IN SHOW! >> I DID IT!
>> WHAT AN EXCITING DADDY SHOW. THANKS FOR JOINING US.
I DON'T HAVE A NAME. GOODNIGHT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪♪♪