600.
Even if I'm a wizard, I still can't apply embarrassing tattoos to the NPC.
601.
If we run out of cannonballs armadillos will not do in a pinch.
602.
Find Familiar scrolls are not a substitute for the hunting skill.
603.
I cannot have any gun mentioned in the Geneva Convention by name.
604.
If my alignment forbids torture, that includes Gnomish Poetry Slams.
605.
Even if this an adventuring party, I can't show up to the adventure drunk and wearing
only a toga, lampshade and half elf stripper. 606.
If my power is super growth, that includes my skin.
607.
A N-Scale tuba player is not an appropriate miniature for my gnome bard.
608.
The answer to 'who's got point?' is not the fireball.
609.
No diety will let me use my nipples as holy symbols.
610.
I cannot name my character Dwead Piwate Woberts. 611.
No initiating social challenges based only on the color of the werewolf's shoes.
612.
Every time a PC takes himself out through his own stupidity does not let me sing the
Oompa-Loompa song.
613.
I can't have a magic item I can't request with a straight face.
614.
My superhero tank must be height/weight proportionate. 615.
One close call with a mimic does not give me the right to attack every door I come across.
616.
Even if they are the same cliched acid for blood aliens, can't load my shotgun with baking
powder.
617.
The forehead is not an appropriate place for a kill count holo-tattoo.
618.
No matter how much my humanity loss, a chainsaw is not a substitute for a bayonet.
619.
No matter what the dice say, I can't kill a 4th gen vampire with a pump action loaded
with buck in a single round.
620.
My Blessed does not have the hindrance Ailin': Stigmata.
621.
No offering the old man and the farm kid a better rate to Alderaan.
622.
Paladins make poor vikings.
And vice versa.
623.
Even if the rules allow it, I cannot play a Dire Gummi Bear.
624.
When asked what my character is doing, it had better not be the vitakinetic.
625.
I must remember before the next time I shave off the sleeping dwarf's beard and glue it
to the sleeping elf, wars have been started that way.
626.
Dwarves are not proper substitutes for pufferfish. 627.
The GM decides if my character dies from a stroke, not me.
628.
I can't use audible glamour to trick the cleric into building an ark.
629.
Just because they are all into rock, metal and axes, dwarves are not all headbangers.
630.
Replacing the solo's bullets with blanks so he comes in dead last in bodycount isn't funny.
631.
Medicine cabinets are not the best place to stash spare squeeze tubes of explosive putty.
632.
When asked to tutor someone on his defense trait, can't keep punching him until he get
it.
633.
When told to choose my weapon in a duel with the assassin, can't pick his weapon.
634.
Cannot recreate any scene in 2001: Space Odyssey involving women's lingerie.
635.
Arguments cannot end with the statement 'Alright, we'll settle this like penguins!'
636.
Recon means tell them what I saw, not slaughter all the monsters without them.
637.
German characters do not gets 4 racial bonus to intimidate French characters.
638.
The DM is not impressed by me spoiling his well planned ambush by just casting Glassee
on the door.
639.
Before hiding with all the werewolves to ambush the Settite, make sure he didn't leave the
LARP 4 hours ago.
640.
Even if he loves me too, Chitti-Chitti-Bang-Bang is not an appropriate choice for the romance
background.
641.
Casual attire does not include shoulder holsters. 642.
My character's grandma was not, is not and will never be a contract killer.
643.
Even if the rules allow it, I can't gain 1,000,000 XP with one forged check.
644.
No matter how much mousse I use, my hair will never have damage resistance.
645.
No matter how high my faith skill, still can't take God as an ally.
646.
If the game store owner goes into vapor lock, the adventure is over.
647.
Any answer to a question involving the words 'wizard', 'station wagon' and 'wood paneling'
is no.
648.
Can't marry off another PC more than half a dozen times.
649.
Zero bodycount does not mean just the ones they can find.
650.
Gnolls don't fall for the fake ball trick more than once.
651.
My alignment is not Sarcastic Good.
652.
My fighter cannot take the flaw: Addiction- stabbing things.
653.
Cannot wish for the party to have common sense.
Even the wish spell has its limits.
654.
If the party goes into my room and finds a Deva wearing only baby oil, oven mitts and
spurs, they can start the module without me.
655.
When asked my position in the party, it's not 'whatever's closest to Bangkok.'
656.
A crayon is typically going to cause a penalty to my forgery skill.
657.
Can't put a glass bottom on my tank to I can see the looks on their faces.
658.
Changing sexes is restricted to male or female.
659.
Quoting Ministry lyrics is not SOP for the Gladius Dei.
660.
Walmart is not my one stop shopping place for hunting vampires.
661.
The line on my character sheet for 'Sex' is not for keeping score.
662.
My Paladin will stop referring to her detect evil power as Evildar.
663.
Even if I just rolled 832d6 for damage, still can't get a bonus to my intimidate check.
664.
Unlike real life, I don't gain the whirlwind attack to smack all my backtalking children.
665.
My WW2 era mad scientist will pick a new target for his project other than Manhattan.
666.
When offered a Dracheneisen item of my choice, can't pick Nunchucks.
667.
No matter what the dice say, can't decapitate an Aberrant with a straight razor.
668.
AT-ST soccer games are strictly against Imperial Army protocols.
669.
Cannot name Boba Fett as a godparent to any of my children.
670.
While I'm fixing the X-Wing, the brash pilot is still miffed about the Y-Wing loaner.
671.
House Kurita Mechwarriors do not appreciate posters of Godzilla taped over their optical
sensors. 672.
Teleport Without Pants is not a real spell.
673.
It's not necessary to install a portcullis in every single room of my castle.
674.
When deciding what to do with the ancient alien artifacts we discovered, EBAY is not
an option.
675.
Even if the rules allow it, I can't take the identical twin advantage 22 times.
676.
My character's primary purpose in the party is not to just leech 1/6 of all the XP.
677.
Elves do not have the racial trait: No Gag Reflex.
678.
Distract the bad guy does not mean with a recreation of the Apollo landing.
679.
I do not have time in the Black Ops for break dancing, Greco-Roman Wrestling or phone sex.
680.
My axe doesn't go off accidentally when I'm cleaning it.
681.
Even if he is a total blast, can't channel Baron Samedi at a Coming Out Ball.
682.
Can't make a called shot with a flamethrower. 683.
After finishing the cliched "New boss is villain" adventure, can't file for unemployment.
684.
My mummy can't take out multiple life insurance policies on himself and name himself the prime
beneficiary. 685.
The game of chicken does not involve the polymorph spell.
686.
My vampire hunter does not take the "un" out of "undead"
687.
I cannot backstab anybody with a Buick Skylark. 688.
Even if the rules allow it, my Paladin cannot have the flaw: Hatred- All living things.
689.
The combat feats I can use with a battering ram are extremely restricted.
690.
Mordenkainen's Dysfunctional Family is not a real spell.
691.
No matter what the kids say, animated balloon animals is a poor use of the Create Golem
feat.
692.
The Dr. Jones School of Swordfighting is not an appropriate Swordsman's School.
693.
There is no conspiracy to write out the gnome's contribution to the Fellowship of the Ring.
694.
Search the old castle means enter it, not level it with artillery and dig through the
rubble.
695.
Buying the Elf Babe a trampoline and telling her it boosts her Dexterity isn't fooling
anybody.
696.
Any plan involving strapping puppies to my armor is vetoed.
697.
No "accidentally" crosswiring the X-Wing's fire control and ejection seat switches.
698.
During the Black Ops no accessing the target's HR files and getting babes' phone numbers.
699.
Fed Ex does not deliver to the Keep on the Borderlands.