The following trailer is rated H for Honest
From the people that let you shoot monsters in space,
shoot monsters in hell,
and shoot monsters in the horror matrix. Prepare
yourself to shoot the most realistic monsters of all.
In a game that's basically man in the high castle,
if it was directed by Robert Rodriguez,
Wolfenstein II,
the new colossus.
Get ready for some for some old-fashioned, patriotic Ginkoism,
as you struggle to free the US from the grips of oppression.
At the hands of souped-up sci-fi Nazi robots,
using the only medium gamers really understand
One billion bullets.
Ease yourself into the dying body of B.J Blazkowicz
A remorseless super-soldier, who went from a tiny portrait that made
creepy faces, to an actual sympathetic character
with surprising depth.
As you guide him and his group of misfit murderers
through a genuinely interesting video game plot, that isn't afraid to go some places.
Effortlessly achieving one of the most difficult feats in gaming,
actually making you give a s__t about the cut scenes.
Getting me to care about the characters in the series that Mecha-Hitler is from
has got to be worth some kind of award.
In a world where punching Nazis has become controversial, somehow.
Watch as the original third-rye killing game doubles down hard.
And despite featuring a humorous tone,
and some of the goofiest space Nazis since Kill Zone,
still goes out of the way to make it very clear that they're the bad guys,
cranks up the violence to near Mortal Kombat levels
and peppers the game with enough social commentary to make Mafia 3 look timid.
In the most overtly political shooter since Metal Wolf Chaos.
Now that's the kind of politics I'm talking about.
Discover, first-person shooter gameplay that doesn't quite live up to the promise of the story line,
With blistering difficulty in all but the lowest levels
Where your health will evaporate in seconds without you even noticing
And the most effective strategy is to run in circles like a mad-man
Furiously collecting health packs and armor and hoping your enemies miss
In an experience that makes you feel less like a super-soldier
and more like a wet paper bag
Blast your way through Wolfenstein II's extremely linear levels
Where you'll slog through one gray Nazi facility after another,
trying your best to stay this game's version of stealthy.
Until you're inevitably spotted and wake up like 19 robot soldiers,
or just trapped in a room with wave after wave of dudes,
and you're forced to go back to dual-welding auto-shotguns and praying
Until you finally get to the next console to hold a button in front of
As Wolfenstein delivers such an average shooter experience
that you'll actually be hoping to get back to the plot
I know, I'm as surprised as you are.
So set aside those boring moral quandaries
And just really mess up some Nazis good
because buried inside that crispy FPS shell
is a gooey center of some of the weirdest s--t that you'll ever see in video games
And we just couldn't in good conscience spoil it for you
Starring, Original Doomguy,
Third Trimester Titan,
Full Metal Scotsman, Brunhilde,
Ancient Aliens, Mech Mama,
Foxy Brown,
Da Bomb,
Your Weird Drunk Uncle,
Cause he's a Max...Haus,
and Cruella da Ville
Wolfenstein II, they did Nazi that coming
Now if they could just somehow combine the story of this game with the action of Doom,
they just might have a game-of-the-year on their hands
Comment below on what you want me to read in my epic voice
2 plus 2 is 4 minus 1, that's 3 quick mafs
Rule one of life, don't be a dick
The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment
for unlocking different heros
I am the chosen one. I am the muffin man.