There's something that I've noticed in a man's mindset that is completely preventing him
from being able to attract a woman. And this is an idea of impressing her. I get this question a
lot too from guys. How do I impress a girl? How do I impress a woman? What can I do to impress her?
That's the big thing that guys are trying to do. And listen, I'm totally guilty of this.
I knew that I was asking this question a long time ago. In fact, I even have a video on this channel
called How To Impress A Girl. This is something I created probably about seven years ago. And I
cringe at the fact that I made a video like this. The idea here now is to understand that impressing
a woman doesn't work. It's the incorrect mindset. The minute that you're trying to impress a woman,
basically what you're saying to her is that your value is lower than hers. This is what people do
to impress other people. Basically they say to the person listen, I'm going to do these things,
act in this way, say certain things that are going to try to get you to like me. And the reason why
I'm trying to do this is because I know that you have something that I want. Which is synonymous
with your value is higher than my value. That's what you say to a woman and that's what you are
sub-communicating to her through any sort of act of I'm trying to impress you. Here's what
we have to do. We have to completely change your mindset. What we have to do is give you a big and
counterintuitive mindset that is going to flip this script in terms of what you're going to be
doing here when you're trying to approach women or if you're on a dating app or on a first date.
The idea here that's in your head (that was in mine for many years) is what can I do to impress
her? And by the way, this is still a mindset that guys who are not rich or have valuable things
are trying to do. There'll be guys who are not necessarily trying to show off things and impress
her, but still want to impress her somehow. I found that it's all different types of men who are
trying to impress, but we have to do the opposite. Now of course, it's not that you don't want to
be a turn off. You don't want to turn her off. We're just not trying to impress. Think about
it this way, if there's a beautiful woman and you see her and she knows she's pretty,
so she can have a whole array of gentlemen. She knows that men are going to be wanting her. She
knows that she has value of some sort. Do you think that she's ever trying to impress a guy?
Probably not most of the time. This is what I want from you too. She knows that she has value. You
need to recognize that you have value. You need to look at yourself as if you are a high value man.
Not a lot of guys can do that. And the reason is because they might not be a high value man. You
might be thinking what is a high value man? I don't mean it's someone who's super rich,
although that does help. That does add to the status of you being high value.
But if you are in a career that you love, that you're passionate about, that you're good at...
if you have a lot of good friends that support you and lift you up... if you have a lot of hobbies
and interests and a lifestyle that's fun and interesting... if you're close with your family...
all these things are things that make someone high value. Are you charismatic and good with women?
Have you had women in the past that you've gotten into relationships with or had sex with so you
have some sort of history there? Do people like you? Are you a leader? Are you someone who's very
charismatic, you're good with people? Do you have other skills? These are all things that make you
high value. But here's the thing, we are not going to take all of these things and try to put them
on a platter to show a woman. This is the idea of impressing. We are not trying to impress. We just
know... this is the mindset here, follow me... we just know that we are high value men because
we are working on all these things, because we are trying to always work on our status
on all the things I just mentioned. We know this. We understand this. We don't need to show this
off. And as time goes on and you are dating a woman, she will discover these things about you.
And this is what builds a lot of attraction and investment in you. I know I'll have some clients
that I work with. And they say like oh, should I get a nice watch or show off the watch that I have
or should I make sure that I go and I pick her up in my car because I have a nice car and I should
go pick her up on the first date? And I say no. First of all, that's not normal. Most people don't
pick up their date on a first date. Sometimes that happens, but it's just not the normal thing to do.
And if you try to make that happen and you force that, then she's gonna see that you're trying to
impress her with your car. And I said to him, I said wouldn't it be cool if... okay, you have
this beautiful car and it's really nice and really fancy and you're dating her and all of a sudden
six, seven dates in, all of a sudden she sees the car because now you're picking her up. This
is going to blow her mind even more because she's going to be seeing oh wow, this guy's high status
and high value and he didn't need to show it off like all the other guys are doing. This is gonna
make her even more attractive. And be careful here. I'm not saying that you need a nice car
to attract a woman. But I'm just trying to give you examples of what people try to do
to impress a woman that doesn't work. Other examples, guys trying to buy a woman something. A
lot of people will buy stuff gifts. They will buy flowers or whatever it is to try to impress her
or try to be overly chivalrous. Some guys will make sure that they're always opening up the
door and pulling out the chair before she sits down. And just being overly charismatic
in trying to show off in this way to try to impress her. They are going to be trying too hard
in all these different areas. Maybe they're taking her out on a first date to somewhere really fancy.
And guys will do that even if they don't have money just to try to impress her. This won't work.
That's not how attraction works. Here's my big advice to you... is that we don't want to impress,
we want to be confident in ourselves and build self-esteem so we know we're already
valuable so you don't have to have the mindset of got to impress her. One way
to build your self-esteem is to keep the promises that you make to yourself and hanging out with a
peer group or social circle that is going to lift you up. That's the second way. What I'm
saying here is that you need to be building your self-esteem so you know that you're valuable so
you don't have to impress her and you can just show up. So you just walking over and talking to
a girl anywhere or showing up to a first date, you know that you are the prize. You know that
you are the guy who she needs to try to impress. This is gonna be by building your self-esteem,
which is going to be keeping the promises that you make to yourself, which is little goals,
little things that you can do. And that's going to be my homework for you today. Find
something really small that you want to do or some sort of small goal you want to accomplish
so that when you accomplish it. you feel good about yourself or a step to accomplish that goal
so you feel good about yourself and start to build your self-esteem. And start curating a peer group
that are going to be people that you are going to look up to and people that are lifting you
up. There's a famous saying that you are the sum of the people that you spend your time around.
If you're spending time around a bunch of losers and people who are doing nothing with their lives
and are not going anywhere, that's gonna have a massive effect on you and your self-esteem. There
you go. That's how to never impress a girl. Please don't do it and make sure that you're
always looking at yourself as a valuable, awesome guy who doesn't need to show it off to a woman.