>> Please welcome my friend, Colin Farrel. [MUSIC]
>> [APPLAUSE]
[MUSIC]
>> [APPLAUSE]
>> Hey. >> Hey, Collin.
>> Hi, Ellen.
>> How are you doing?
>> I'm good, how are you?
>> You look real good.
>> And you look gorgeous.
>> You look healthy.
>> Hey, you look so healthy.
>> I feel healthy.
>> Yeah, you look really great.
>> I had to quit caffeine, I'll tell you the whole story.
>> Really? >> Yeah.
>> Why? >> Do you drink coffee?
>> Was it keeping you up at night?
>> No, no, I had a little- >> Do you sleep well?
>> [LAUGH] No.
>> Me neither.
>> Yeah.
>> What are your hours usually?
>> Lately it's been 12 hours.
>> You do?
>> Yeah, lately I've been sleeping- >> That's narcoleptic.
>> Yeah.
>> That's a condition.
>> No, narcolepsy is like falling asleep in the middle of
>> [LAUGH]
>> That's narcoleptic.
No.
>> That's terrifying.
>> I'm sleeping a lot lately cuz I don't have a reason to be awake.
>> [LAUGH] >> When you give up coffee,
you wake up in the morning and you're like I may as well stay in bed.
There's no.
>> [LAUGH] >> Did you get headaches?
>> Yeah.
>> Right. >> Headaches and
leg pains and- >> No!
>> And horrible withdrawal.
>> Keep the coffee in your diet, kids.
>> [LAUGH] >> No.
Don't start it if you don't have to.
>> Yeah, don't start it.
>> Yeah. They say it's worse than quitting smoking
or quit drinking- >> I don't know about that.
>> Yeah. >> [LAUGH]
>> You're not-
>> Take coffee off my list as potential
things to knock on the head. >> Are you still smoking?
>> I gave up for two years, man, and I was doing so well and
then I thought I'll just have the odd cigarette like everyone.
And I thought I've heard so many people say that and so many people failed.
>> Yeah.
>> There's no way I'm gonna be one of them.
Cut to.
Same thing happened with rehab.
[LAUGH] I mean it's just all these things, I have never.
You know?
>> It's just one bottle.
>> Yeah, so I got back on them and I got really good at smoking again.
>> And I'm thinking in the next few months,
my sister bought me a collection of three DVDs.
Which involves, you watch them at home of course or
you could take your DVD to a friend's house.
And you go through this process where you watch someone being interviewed by
a therapist.
And the person who's being interviewed obviously is a smoker
anbd the therapist is talking to him.
And there's hypnosis at the end of it.
And I watched the first DVD and I thought this fellow's on to something and
I haven't watched the second one.
>> [LAUGH] >> I decided,
I thought he might cure me after all.
Which was the point initially, but then I thought, better back away from this idea.
>> That's ridiculous!
>> Yeah, but I still have the DVDs, so
I think in the next three months- >> There's a book too How to Stop Smoking
the Easy Way, which is a really great book and you read the book and you stop.
>> The easy way doesn't sound that interesting.
>> You don't want to do anything the easy way?
>> A challenge.
>> Anyway, stop.
>> Okay. >> It's bad for you.
>> Done.
>> Done? >> I'm gonna have a pack here.
I'm gonna leave them right here.
>> And by the way, I didn't smell any smoke on your breath when I kissed you.
>> That's because I doused myself in altoids before I came out,
because I thought that maybe.
We'd get to lock lips if only for a second maybe.
>> [LAUGH] >> Not that I would ever presume,
it's never a given, it's never a given.
>> No, no, you never know.
>> No.
>> I'm glad I didn't let you down.
>> You really didn't.
>> Yeah, I'm so glad.
>> [LAUGH] Happy birthday.
>> Happy birthday to you.
Why?
It's not my birthday.
>> No, but it will be.
>> [LAUGH] >> Happy birthday.
>> [LAUGH] That's just your go to when there's silence, happy birthday.
>> [LAUGH]
>> I just remember them bringing the cake out that time.
>> Yes.
>> I had a flashback. >> You were here for my birthday.
>> I was once one time.
>> But I was not there for your birthday.
>> No, you never are.
>> Well, you didn't invite me.
>> I had 40 of them.
>> I know, you just turned 40.
>> I just turned 40.
>> When did you turn 40?
>> I turned 40 the exact same day, strangely that I turned 39 last year.
>> [LAUGH] >> And-
>> What?
>> May 31st.
>> Yeah.
>> And what did you do to celebrate and why wasn't I invited?
>> What did I do to celebrate?
What did I do to celebrate?
Did I celebrate?
>> It's 40th, it must be- >> I'm obviously,
my memory's gone, I'm 40.
>> [LAUGH] >> I think I had dinner with friends.
With a group of friends with 14 or 15 of us.
>> Here in town?
>> Yeah, up in Malibu.
It was lovely.
Yeah, it was low-key and really nice.
>> I'm nearby, I could have done it.
>> Again, your address, send it to me.
>> Yeah, all right.
Give me your number ,so I'll give it to you.
>> Where's the pen?
Can I sign one of your books?
>> [LAUGH] >> We'll figure it out later.
>> So you have two sons, Henry and James and Henry is the younger one, right?
>> Henry is the younger one.
>> He's ten?
>> He's seven.
James is 13.
>> Seven.
And so he was very into the upcoming election.
He was very political.
>> He was a little bit, yes.
>> Is he still?
>> Surprising for a seven year old.
He's kind of a little bit over it now.
He just wants to know why everyone's being so mean to each other.
>> We all wanna know that.
>> Which is the question on everyone's lips.
>> Yeah, yeah.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> Yeah, really.
It's just in the simplest form, he just completely gets it.
He just gets the energy of it, and it's just so mean.
And then he wasn't a huge fan of Trump initially,
I think a little bit cuz of his hair maybe.
But I think more importantly,
because of the potential for mistreatment of Mexicans.
Literally, that's nearly verbatim from Henry.
And now he can't stand Trump because I've had to explain to him
why Trump keeps on being mean to kittens.
>> [LAUGH] >> [LAUGH]
>> He just keeps grabbing those kittens.
>> Uh-huh.
>> [LAUGH] [APPLAUSE] >> And so now, he's just-
>> [APPLAUSE]