If the ostriches can't be here by 3:00, we can't use them.
Ok bye.
Dude, what happened to you?
Motorcycle wreck?
Oh, oh, cracked my phone over the weekend.
Oh.
Yeah, still got to use it though.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
It's really not as bad as it looks.
You can still hold it.
You can touch it.
But definitely don't swipe it.
Eight's the seven, the six is the five.
Every other button's the same.
Congratulations.
You've just won a free cruise.
Well, gee whiz.
Let's board the boat.
Hi, I'm Jennifer calling about your car's extended warranty.
Well, good golly.
Let's extend it.
No.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry, man.
I'm so sorry.
I'm just gonna do it, OK?
Yeah!
[CHEERING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Whoo.
Whoa.
No.
Oh, no.
Oh what are the chances?
Oh, please tell me it didn't crack the front?
No.
I like funny things.
Oh, sorry man.
You had to be here.
I am here.
I already scrolled it.
It's into the abyss now.
You can't just go back.
Gone forever, dude.
I cannot believe that just-- no way.
What was it?
Huh, oh dude.
Sorry.
I don't even know where I put it.
Can you call it please?
We're calling it.
Don't all call it at once.
Ty look underneath.
Are we good?
It's not under there, but it is remarkable what is under there.
Oh, it's on silent.
Guys, going to take your shoes off you're
going to feel the vibration.
Oh, I found it.
Yes.
Bang.
Ah, N64 Rumble Pack.
It has the same vibration patterns though.
I'll meet you in the car dude.
We only gave it an hour.
[TEXTING SOUNDS]
Dude.
What?
Oh man, I cannot thank you enough for recommending that
hemorrhoid cream.
Has helped out tremendously.
My sister has 15 warts on her hand.
We're trying to figure out how to get rid of those.
Floor two, please.
Dude, another crazy thing I found out--
are you listening to my phone call right now?
You know that's illegal.
Dang it.
Hey, man.
What's up?
Hey.
Wait, are you in the bathroom right now?
What?
Yeah, no.
Definitely not.
That'd be--
Hey is that water running?
Yeah.
Left the office early to go fish.
Can you send me a picture of the fish?
No.
FaceTime?
Hey, big dog.
What's good, good looking?
What do you need?
Oh, I just wanted to see your face.
I'm organizing my undies.
My phone is at 1%.
If I lose you any time--
oh.
Hey, don't you do that brother.
Don't you-- hey, real quick.
Got to let the dog out.
Don't move a muscle.
Be right back.
You called me by the way.
Dude this is like his fifth time calling today.
Are you underwater?
That's actually kind of impressive.
I know you can't hear me, but never call me again.
Oh bag of diapers.
4:54 on a Saturday the 13th.
I have some illegal dumping activity happening right now.
Hey.
These gentlemen are tresspassing!
Whoa!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
And we're live.
I am not dumping sir.
I was filming them.
This is a citizens arrest.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Looking for the best coffee shop, boom.
Right there.
Hashtag, sponsored.
Not really.
I'm not sponsored yet.
But put on a show and don't even try to [INAUDIBLE]..
They love me.
They all love me.
Yo, Gar.
You good if I add you to that paintball group text?
I appreciate the invite, man.
I think I'll pass.
It's the paintball boys.
Seventh grade, your birthday party, we had so much fun.
That was like 20 years ago.
I got you added.
You're in.
See you Saturday.
Sparky!!
People on Facebook, check it out.
This is amazing.
Hey, hey, hey.
Calvin.
Check out this concert I was at last year, dude.
I paid top dollar for these seats.
Look at this.
That sounds like a broken washing machine, dude.
Seven minutes left baby.
Let's make something happen.
No.
No, market doesn't close for another two hours.
East coast, got plenty of time.
Stay patient.
You bring food?
Yeah, I brought dip.
I bought the dip too.
I just bought the dip.
Which one did you get?
He brought chips and dip.
Oh got it.
Oh, it's going down still.
It's still going down.
Oh it goes up.
It goes up.
Yes.
Lunch on me.
Time is money right now.
OK?
If I got invited to an elementary school graduation,
I would walk up on that stage and I would say,
ETFs, stocks, crypto, all in one place.
SoFi app.
Mic drop.
And I would walk off the stage.
And that is the best piece of advice I could give them.
Please, respect the game.
Yeah.
No.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm number one for the team.
We're in a conference.
Yes, that's your phone.
What song is that?
One for the team.
No, I don't have your phone.
It's your phone.
It's right there.
It was in your front pocket.
This little knob right here, silent mode.
Let's live life that way, huh?
Green bubbles?
Who's got the Android?
Jonah.
I tried giving you an iPhone and you still refused.
Another vote for Jonah.
Green is my least favorite color.
Jonah.
One more vote and you will be removed from the group thread.
Jonah.
We're back to blue bubbles boys.
Who wants to rename the group?
Spider-man 3.
10 minutes.
Let's go.
I accidentally called my uncle.
Just one second.
One second.
Hey, did you mean to call?
What kind of question is that?
Of course I meant to call.
I was worried you might have accidentally called
me or something.
No, not you, Uncle Remus.
You boys got to get back down here to Georgia.
This old catfish came up and just scooped up the top water
right off the top.
You wouldn't believe out of tall the trees
have gotten since you was here last time.
I wouldn't?
No.
But I don't know if you remember that girl Katie Funchess,
that you used to date back in first grade?
Tell you what--
Ah.
Hello.
I don't have service unless I'm by the road.
Hang on.
Can you hear me?
I don't know, I can't see it now.
Well, I had to go back up there and look.
They've got a candle burning at the firework stand.
We're lighting these fireworks.
We're going to test them.
You've got to make sure they work.
We don't sell no cheap ones around here,
these are quality fireworks.
Ow, ow.
Dude!
Can I talk to a manager?
Hey, big dad.
You want to talk to him?
And I lost you.
What seems to be the problem sir?
You.
Not only will you not buy a firework
from my fireworks shop, you ain't buying one in this county
or nor this state.
You have the audacity to show up on my property
after what you've done to my family and my life?
Get out of here right now.
Nope.
Ah.
You better get out of here.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
That's mine.
Oh come on.
That's my granddaddy's firework stand!
He's had it since 1904.
Oh no.
No.
Come on.
Remember the koalas arrive at 2:00.
So-- Bean sales, through the roof.
it's really.
Can somebody please figure out whose phone that is.
Whoever's phone this is, you're fired.
Wait, guys.
Sorry.
It was actually me.
The koalas are here.
Oh.
Oh that is the worst drive ever, so ugly and flat.
Only thing worse is Amarillo to Albuquerque.
Good shot, dude.
I would highly recommend getting lessons.
Honey, if you want to take piano seriously,
you got to get lessons.
Dude, will you please upgrade your phone?
Why?
This one works just fine.
What is that, the original iPhone?
Look how small this is.
Looks like a pager.
Is that the iPod app?
If I want to listen to the Goo Goo Dolls, I just click them.
Hold on.
It's loading.
Sir, do you mind holding that for a second?
I'm having trouble seeing it.
Could you move back a little bit?
Right about there.
That's great.
Thank you.
My son got a penguin.
I just couldn't see the word.
Oh wow.
Congratulations.
Just use my credit card.
It's three--
Whoa, whoa, whoa shh.
Dude.
They're listening.
What are you talking about?
Watch this.
Yeah, thanks for coming over, man.
I've been meaning to get into a new hobby these days.
I've been thinking about getting into soap carving.
They listen to everything.
Anyways, what was that credit card number again?
Oh, it's three six--
What's new with you?
Glad you asked.
It's my granddaughters, grandson, family on the beach.
This was a cool story.
This guy bought this one at an auction.
Brother-in-law who's Sheriff of Ellis County being interviewed
after the tornado.
You have 12 pictures of the ground?
Yeah, that's kind of the way I roll.
Three, six--
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yo Gar point ball--
Dude, I can't do this.
We had to call in a backup.
Sometimes you need somebody to drop a phone.
And the poor man just couldn't do it.
Third person.
Could I get a little credit?
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Pound it.
Noggin.
See ya.
What a talk!
That's cheating, it's cheating!