(melodic music)
- [Narrator] Blossom hasn't seen her dear friend Jimmy
in a while.
He's been mysteriously absent.
- Anyway, I'm back now right?
- [Narrator] That's all I need to hear Jimbo,
no further question.
- What's your name again?
- [Narrator] It's Blossom, Jimmy,
the only fucking person named Blossom.
Jimmy got a gun.
Say hello to my very little friend.
He brought it to scare someone,
mission accomplished.
Blossom is about to shit in her Oshkosh B'gosh.
Jimmy tells her to keep things quiet.
Six got detention, a kid tagged a teachers desk
and when nobody ratted the whole class got in trouble.
Blossom leaps at the chance to complain
about this awful no-snitch culture.
Six explains, people don't tattle
because they're afraid.
- Fear of kids on dope, fear of gangs,
fear of getting beat up.
- [Narrator] Only two of those are scary,
you numerically named narc.
Blossom sings about Jimmy's heater
then swears Six to secrecy
because these gals have such a strong track record
in that department thus far.
- It wasn't just like a toy
or a bar of soap or something was it?
- [Narrator] Yeah Blossom, was that gun a bar of soap?
Blossom has the anonymous betrayal hotline memorized.
- That way you don't have to worry about getting shot
on your way to biology.
(audience laughs)
Unless, of course, he figures it out and gets another gun.
In which case, our whole class
gets off a half day early for your funeral.
- [Narrator] Wow, half days every time there's a shooting?
The 90's were luxurious.
Blossom will feel guilty if GI Jimmy's expelled
but not as guilty as she'd feel if Jimmy expels a cap
in someones ass behind the library.
Blossom is rehearse-snitching,
work shopping voices,
making a real meal out of it.
But does she really want to piss off a guy with a gun?
Sure, why not.
Vinny says Blossom did the right thing.
Debatable.
And, she has nothing to worry about.
A god damn lie
because when the fuzz comes knocking
they don't find that blicky.
Jimmy is a free man,
a free man with a weapon
who knows Blossom dropped dime.
- You'll get yours kid. I promise.
- [Narrator] He still doesn't know her name.
That should make her easier to murder.
Meanwhile, Joey's watching TV.
♪ Ding dong. ♪
This clown needs directions to Blueberry Lane
and asks to come inside.
- You're not going to steal anything are you?
- That depends, do you have any midget firemen?
- [Narrator] Joey you can't afford
to not let this guy inside this instant.
Joey knows him, he's Frosty,
he did Joey's sixth birthday.
Speaking of birthdays
Frosty is late for some kids party.
Joey points him that direction
but a slurring Frosty is disoriented.
- Are you a little drunk?
- I was a little drunk this morning,
now I'm big time drunk.
- [Narrator] Frosty's still got it.
Joey volunteers to drive this hammered,
costumed jokester to a house full of children.
- [Joey] I hope one of these is the car.
- No, they're all keys.
- STILL.
GOT IT.
Blossom tells her dad about the snitch-uation.
Daddy wants to run it up the old suburban snitch ladder
to the police.
Blossom defends Jimmy,
a job his pistol already has more than covered.
Joey is driving Frosty in the sad van he probably lives in
while he sips hooch from a giant bottle.
Frosty wants to pull over to the side of the canyon
to take a leak.
- [Frosty] Ahhh!
- [Narrator] No! Frosty!
Frosty is fine, he just wanted to behold the City of Angels
and scream-piss all over it.
The la-la land we deserve.
Joey was worried this alcoholic clown offed himself,
you know, with the yelling
and sad drinking and what not.
Frosty's thought about it,
he's thought about it a lot.
His brain is like a tiny car
and thoughts of suicide just keep jumping out.
Joey offers to get Frosty some help.
Tony tells Blossom how much he loves AA,
he always sees some pathetic loser
and it makes him feel great about his shitty life
by comparison.
Then today is your lucky day Tony.
Joey introduces the gang to Frosty,
the alcoholic, suicidal clown.
Joey wants Tony to bring him to a meeting.
Tony is reluctant, I mean it's already anonymous,
you don't exactly need full face makeup.
- Don't worry, you'll be just as funny sober.
- But you folks won't be.
(audience laughs)
- Say goodnight Frosty.
- Goodnight Frosty.
- [Narrator] Still got it.
God damn, this clown is good.
Blossom bumps into Vinny
who tells her the good news.
She's safe!
Jimmy had an accident with his gun last night.
Let's just say five out of five dentists
do not recommend using one as a toothbrush.
And we never see Frosty again,
he probably fucking killed himself.
So, what did we learn today?
Piss off gun owners at your own risk
because they might kill you
and just because you're an alcoholic,
suicidal disaster,
doesn't mean you can't still be hilarious.
And, life is often overwhelming
but you'll get through it if you accept help
and if your enemies blow their own brains out.
See ya next time on a very special episode.