Welcome back to my channel, Scott here, back for another video.
Have you ever had to deal with someone that just complained and complained about everything?
We've all come across them or are currently impacted by these chronic complaints.
Everything is shit.
They're the victim.
The world is against him.
Nothing ever goes their way.
For example, you're sitting in a restaurant with one of these complainants, you sit down
at your chair and then they start, "Geez, I don't like the fabric of this chair.
Geez, it's cold in here.
We're so close to the window, can we move away?
It's so noisy in here."
And then the waiter comes over and takes the order, they didn't like the way
the order was taken.
They look at the menu and they don't like what's on the menu.
"There's no sparkling water.
There's no sparkling water.
I can't believe there's no sparkling water."
And then they go to the bathroom and there's no paper towels, "I have to use a
hand towel."
And that just goes on and on and on.
Having that negativity just causes you some serious stress and you just cop this barrage
of this verbal spraying into your ear drum that can really just end up altering your
own mood.
So we've got four tips that we're going to cover today.
These are super quick and things that you can implement to deal with chronic complainers,
and let's go straight into the first one.
Do you really need them in your life?
This might sound harsh and it might come across a little controversial, but look at it as
an opportunity to do a bit of a circle audit.
And if they're just complaining for the sake of complaining and they're not interested
in any of the solutions that are being thrown up, well you've got to ask yourself, do you
really want them in your life if it's constant?
Or at minimum just limit the amount of time that you spend with them and if you must deal
with them often, number two, listen and empathize.
I suggest just sit there and listen and hear them out.
Show empathy towards their story or their situation, and it's empathy, not sympathy.
So avoid throwing your two cents in to fuel the fire.
I also found countering or arguing with things like, "Just being more positive," or, "Why
do you always have to complain about everything?"
These don't work.
Otherwise you'll sit, then you've got to listen to the long list of hardships and
victim cards that are being displayed, and you could be there for days.
For example, if you know someone that always has to complain about traffic and they're
just complaining, complaining, complaining about it, and then you weigh in with, "Oh
my God, yeah, the traffic sucks.
I found that the other day when I was driving down the road that I copped traffic for an
hour and I didn't move."
That just fuels the fire and it makes the complainer accelerate more.
Even if you do feel a little bit of that, you throwing fuel onto the fire is just going
to shoot their complaining levels up 10 fold, and then it'll just move onto the next topic
and the next topic and then you'll be the complaining friend that I can complain with.
So rather what you want to say is, "Geez, you really get upset about traffic,
don't you?"
Or, "Dude, that thing really upsets you, doesn't it?"
You want to try those things.
Number three, get them to move to a more positive mindset.
So you want to ask for solutions.
Now this can be tricky, this option, because they don't really want a solution.
They actually don't.
They just want to sit there and get consensus about how difficult their life is
and play that victim card.
But you need to try and ask them to counter their situation, or even offer how you can
help them.
So for example, with the traffic situation, you can say something like, "Geez, I hate
to see like this.
You seem to get so upset with this traffic everyday.
What can you do differently so you don't get upset all the time?
Anything you can change?
Like that, right.
Or you can steer the conversation into a lighter direction or a more positive conversation.
Do that subtly, but you can just move it towards that direction without engaging in the topic
at hand.
Number four, lead by example.
Don't let it impact your mood.
So don't join that negativity bandwagon.
So engage, okay, empathize, yeah, but just don't join in in that negativity.
Bring a positivity to the conversation.
Decide on how you're going to show up.
Choose how you're going to show up.
Choose how you're going to influence the conversation positively, and just in general when they're
not complaining.
So aim to lift their mood.
Aim to bring them up.
Aim to bring positivity.
Aim to bring joy, and just control how you're going to be and try and influence that mood,
that vibe, that conversation.
Now you know exactly how to deal with chronic complainants.
In the next video, we're going to be talking about condescending people and how to handle
them.
So hit that notification button below next to the subscribe button, and in a couple of
days time and you'll get notified when that is released.
In the meantime, feast on these two videos here, I highly recommended, they're going
to be very helpful for your mindset and your life and bettering yourself.
That is it for this video.
I will catch you in the next one.
Take care.