- Have you ever attracted someone
who just looks really good on the outside,
but then when you get into the inside,
it's like a deep, dark plague
of war, misery, and destruction?
Then you sit back and wonder,
what the (beep) did I do in a previous life
to attract these types of people?
Well, fear not, you sexy, single lady.
There might be some emotional reasons
why it is that you are attracting these types of people,
and the good news is this is totally within your control.
Keep watching.
(upbeat music)
Hey there, I'm LoDolce from LoveStrategies.com,
where we help successful single women get out there
and attract long-lasting love
and do it with a proven strategy.
And in this video,
we are going to be talking about being intentional
about the people you allow into your life.
Because here's the reality of attracting love,
no one just attracts broken people.
They choose broken people.
And, even worse, sometimes we are attracted to broken people
and there's sometimes this invisible force
that just draws us magnetically to some people
and really repels us from others.
So the first step to all of this is taking responsibility
for the people we allow into our life,
because everyone in our life that we allow into our life,
except for our children,
everyone that we allow into our life,
we choose to keep them in our life.
So let's talk about why it is
that you might be keeping these types
of broken people in your life.
Reason number one is that it's just comfortable.
If you look back growing up
with your relationship with your parents,
or your parents' relationship with each other,
that is likely going to have a massive impact
on your romantic life today.
Because as humans,
we are usually drawn to things that are comfortable to us,
not the things that make us happy,
the things that are comfortable for us.
And if you grew up in a household that was toxic
or you had a parental relationship that really was broken
or didn't work,
it's likely you are going to be drawn
to those types of relationships
because, once again, it's all you know.
I had a client the other day,
her name is Alex and she told me I can tell this story,
so I'm gonna reveal it now,
and she grew up in a household with a very strict father.
He was a police officer.
He would come home, nothing against police officers,
but he happened to be very strict,
he was aggressive, he was intense,
and when he came home, he would be constantly screaming.
He also had an alcohol problem.
Needless to say, later on in life
when she was going out there and attracting love,
she was just like (mimics drum roll),
just going through different types of men
and attracting these same types of toxic guys
who were aggressive.
Actually many of them had substance abuse issues.
And it wasn't until she came head on with this
and realized through our program
and a lot of the work that we do in Love Accelerator,
she realized that she was actually choosing
these types of guys
because it reminded her of her childhood.
Once she had that awareness,
it allowed herself to take a step back
and start allowing different types of men into her life.
And it wasn't until recently
where she attracted a very different type of guy
into her life, a much kinder man, a much gentler guy.
And all along the way,
she's been coming to our coaching sessions
and she's been really working through this
because it's been very challenging for her
to stick with this guy.
Because at every single stage of the process,
her internal dialogue is just run,
run from this guy.
It's boring. He's uninteresting.
He's not attractive to me.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But that is simply just her emotional experience
coming into play now, her experience with her childhood.
And so we're having her hold strong right now with this guy
and remember this one thing,
healthy relationships can be boring
and that is perfectly okay.
Toxic relationships are emotionally volatile.
They're all over the place.
Once again, if you come
from an emotionally-volatile childhood
and that is all you know,
then it's gonna be very important for you
to be very intentional about sticking with the relationships
that tend to feel a little bit more boring,
but actually serve you in the long run.
Now, the second reason why it is
that you might attract broken men
is you have trouble saying one of the most powerful words
in the English language, and that is no.
Are you the type of person who just says yes
to everyone in your life if they ask you for favors,
they're even taking advantage of you,
or you just want to be a kind person
who just says yes to everyone?
If so, it is likely that you are going to attract
bloodsucking emotional vampires into your life
who are broken and going to destroy your love life.
Saying no to people is very hard,
especially if you are a people pleaser or a giver,
but until you take responsibility for this
and you start actually standing up for yourself,
you are just going to continue
attracting these types of people.
So it's time from this day forward,
I want you to leave a comment right there below
if you've had trouble doing this,
it's time from this day forward
to start saying no to the wrong people
and just start saying yes to the right people.
And finally, the third reason why it is
you might attract broken people
is that you let your emotions control every decision
in your life.
A lot of people, when they're dating and going out there
and trying to find love, they lead with their emotions,
as if what it is that they're feeling is a fact.
If I feel this way about a person, it must be true.
And what tends to happen
is once we start bringing some strategies
to their love life, we start talking much more
about the rational side of things
when it comes to attracting love, the strategy.
And look, I'm not trying to stop you from feeling emotions.
I want you to feel the most incredible emotion,
which is love, but in order to get there,
you need to bring some strategies,
bring some rationality to the process.
And if you allow yourself to just go
wherever it is that your heart takes you
and if you feel it must be true and, oh my god,
he just like the perfect person
so I'm going to stop talking to every one else
and just invest all my energy into this guy,
if you do that,
you're going to constantly be attracting broken people
in your life.
Buck stops here.
It's time to bring a little bit of strategy
to your love life.
And if you aren't in Love Accelerator, that's totally cool.
Find people in your life who can support you
and keep you rational.
If you don't have those types of people,
we have an incredible community in Love Accelerator.
It's all about community.
We all hold each other accountable.
It's an incredible thing.
And if you want to be a part of that,
you can head on over to LoveStrategies.com.
We have a free training there
that's gonna teach you all about our process for coaching.
But if not, just be a part of this community here,
the free community here on YouTube.
So leave a comment right there below.
Tell us a little bit about how it is
that you are going to hold yourself accountable
to keeping those broken people out of your life
and start attracting
the right type of people moving forward.
And on that, look, life is too short for broken people.
You can't fix someone who is broken
and if you are really ready
to attract the right type of person,
it's time to say that magical four-letter word,
which is next, and move on to the next person
so you can finally live the life you deserve to live.
Thank you so much for watching.
I'll speak to you, you sexy, single lady next week.
Bye-bye.