- It took me 34 years to put this together,
and I'm very happy to share it.
So, let me take you through this very quickly.
And when you understand this and start to apply it,
your life will change so much.
Every thought you think is a blueprint
that your mind and body work to make real.
The strongest force in every human being
in the entire world is this;
you must act in a way that absolutely matches your thinking.
So, I was working in Ibiza with some women
who all said they couldn't have orgasms.
And they all kept saying,
"No, he's been down there for 20 minutes,
"nothing's going to happen.
"You know, I just can't. My body doesn't work properly.
"There's something wrong with it."
So, I took the whole group and said,
"You're super orgasmic!
"Oh my God, you have electric shocks from head to foot.
"You have multiple orgasms, massive, et cetera."
One woman started to have one in front of the audience.
I'm like, "No, no, no, no." But I couldn't stop her,
she was off.
And she went, "Oh my God, that was amazing."
That wasn't quite meant to happen.
But I told them these things, "You are super orgasmic,
"multi-orgasmic, you have these little electric shocks
"all over your body.
"You have massive extended orgasms."
And the next day people came up to me,
"Oh my god, last night, that was amazing."
And the organizer took me to lunch and went,
"None of my staff have turned up.
"Look at these messages I'm getting.
"'Sorry, Clement can't come in today.
"'We were up all night.
"'I had four orgasms.
"'He's exhausted.
"'I'm fine. But he's not coming in.'
"So, I haven't got a single member of staff coming in today
"because of that talk you gave."
And you can do that with anything,
"I have a super fast metabolic rate.
"Whatever I eat, my body burns it off.
"I like to eat good stuff but
"if I have a cake, I've got a great metabolism."
Because people who have it say,
"I can't gain weight.
"No matter what I eat, it just goes straight through me."
Other people say, "If I look at food, I get fat."
And they're both true.
Because if you look at food believing it makes you fat,
you create cortisol, the stress hormone, that lays down fat.
So, when you know this, then you begin to think,
"Well, why do I keep saying, 'I'm just a loser,
"'I just can't concentrate,
"'I've got a memory like a sieve,
"'I never know what to say,
"'I go red if people look at me.
"'I can't, I can't, I can't'?"
Every thought you think causes a physical reaction
in your body and an emotional response.
And you saw that with a lemon.
So, if you can make your mind believe you're eating lemon,
you can make your mind believe anything.
Particularly that you are deeply lovable,
wildly attractive, phenomenally interesting,
and you're here for a reason.
Your mind doesn't go, "Well, what is the reason?
"I need to know what it is."
It just goes, "Well, if you say that every day,
"it must be true."
Imagination is more powerful than knowledge
when dealing with your own mind
or the mind of another.
The lemon wasn't real.
In a battle between emotion and logic,
guess what wins?
Emotion always wins.
Logic can't win because you're coming from a feeling mind
that feels.
I mean, I don't know why people fight
over car parking spaces or the last cart in IKEA,
but I've watched people really lose the plot.
And it's a bit like, you know,
if you were Chelsea and you were Man United,
you hate each other.
But when you're going to see England play,
you're like, "Oh, well. We're England supporters. We're together, for England."
So, you can change something immediately.
Next page, please.
So, we did this, but we'll do it again.
In a battle between emotion and logic, emotion wins.
So, don't logically try to change stuff,
"I'm going to learn to speak on stage.
"I'm going to go to Toastmasters and have all this thing.
"I'm going to go to the gym and work out.
"All day, I'm going. It's like concrete,
"it's never coming off.
"I'm just destined to have this square shape.
"I can't get rid of it."
Because logic doesn't impact you the way emotion does.
But if you change your emotion,
which is what you do when you go, "I am lovable,
"I matter, I'm enough,"
that's important.
And many people don't realize that
and they try so hard to logically
have things snipped off or injected in or buy stuff.
And to be enough, there is nothing for you to subtract,
nothing has to be snipped off or lasered off
or bleached away or ripped off with wax.
And nothing has to be added in either.
It's the emotion of knowing you're enough
that will make the whole world know you're enough, too.
Your mind always does what it thinks you want it to do.
So, if you have got a lot of what you don't want,
you need to think, "Well, what am I telling my mind?"
So, when you go, "Oh, I'm dreading Wednesday,
"I said I'd chair this meeting,
"my boss is away," or, "I'm having a feedback,"
or, "I've got to go and see my boss
"and I'd give anything not to go,"
your mind goes, "Don't you worry,
"next Wednesday, you're going to wake up
"with the worst flu in the world
"and then you can't go.
"You see, I listened to you.
"You said, 'I'd do anything rather than go
"'to that meeting next week.'"
One of my clients said, "I've got to speak at a funeral,
"I'd rather be in the coffin, frankly.
"I'm so nervous about it."
And if you say that, your mind goes,
"Rather be in the coffin? Well, that's a bit extreme,
"but I'll just make you super sick on the day
"so you can't go."
So, often we find that. You know,
I work with a lot of doctors
and doctors are wonderful people,
I would never criticize a doctor or a therapist
because I know that they've got good hearts
and they want to help.
But doctors will tell you now, they have in A&E
a 30 percent chance of making you better.
Because so many people come in
and they don't have diseased organs,
they have diseased thinking.
They say, "I've got my chronic migraine again,"
without understanding that if you say "my migraine," you own it.
"My" is an ownership word.
People say, "I've got my cancer. I need to go
"to the cancer survivors and talk about my cancer,"
it's not yours.
Stop calling it "my."
"See, the trouble with my fat legs is
"they're like elephant legs
"and I eat like a pig and I'm the size of a house."
It's like, none of that is true.
"I eat non-stop all weekend."
Really?
"Do you pee?"
"Yes."
"Do you eat then?"
"No."
"Well, then you don't eat non-stop.
"Do you sleep a bit?"
"Yeah."
So, you don't eat non-stop all weekend
but if you say that, your mind goes,
"Well, if you eat non-stop all weekend,
"then you're going to be fatter."
When you say, "I'm starving, famished, I could eat a horse,"
your mind goes, "You're starving,
"that is an absolute threat to your survival."
Because the thing we died of more than anything
200 years ago was not disease and not war,
it was hunger.
And you are hard-wired to be scared of hunger.
People go, "I'm starving," and then they eat something
and go, "I just ate like a horse."
Well, you told yourself you were starving.
What do you expect?
You say, "No, I need to eat.
"I'm a bit hungry.
"My stomach's the size of my fist.
"I'm going to eat some lovely food
"and then in 20 minutes I'll be completely sated
"and I don't need anymore."
Your mind understands.
So, it's very important that you talk to yourself
in a way more effective way.
I just went to Atlanta to give a talk on mindfulness.
I said, "Does anyone know what it is?"
They're like, "No."
"Who here knows?"
They said, "I don't know.
"Barack Obama said, 'Mindfulness is what it's all about.'
"And I've read all these things about mindfulness
"and you're here to teach us mindfulness,
"but none of us have a clue what it really is."
Who here knows what mindfulness
actually, really and truly, is?
Put your hand up if you know.
Go ahead, shout out at the back, someone.
- Being in the present.
Good.
Anyone else?
- Awareness.
- I was going to say awareness.
- Awareness.
Yeah.
Anyone else?
- Feeling content.
Go on.
- Being in tune with yourself.
- Yeah.
And none of these are incorrect.
But what mindfulness really means
is how you dialogue with yourself.
Because that is being in the present, talking to yourself.
Not going, "This commute is going to kill me.
"I'm dying under the stress."
But telling yourself better things,
"I've got a long commute.
"I've always wanted an hour to myself.
"Well, I've certainly got that now.
"And I can listen to a recording."
You know, I always tell all my clients that come in
and go, "My life is hell,"
"You know, the truth is your life
"is someone else's fantasy dream come true.
"What would you have given 10 years ago for this life?"
They go, "Yeah, I never thought about that."
Mindfulness is not bitching and moaning and complaining.
It's being in the present,
realizing that, whatever is going on in your life,
that's someone else's fantasy.
And talking to yourself better.
So, instead of saying, "I can't cope,"
go, "I've got phenomenal coping skills."
So, your mind's job is to do what it thinks you want
and to move you away from pain.
Again, remember, your mind's job is to keep you alive
on the planet.
When you go, "That's killing me, that's stressing me out.
"I'm at maximum bandwidth.
"One more day like that, I'm going to run away.
"I'm going to jump off a bridge.
"I'm going to shoot myself."
People say these things all the time,
"I'm going to kill myself."
But your mind doesn't have a sense of humor.
It doesn't understand that that's not literal.
So, you've got to stop doing this.
And mindfulness is saying,
"You know, this is a little bit stressful today.
"But, hey, I can cope with the stress.
"I have phenomenal coping skills."
So, you might know this story,
but in came a client to see me,
she'd been sectioned.
This girl had everything wrong with her.
And she had a hatred of doctors and nurses
because she'd been sectioned several times.
"As you can see, the problem is, Marisa,
"I don't have any coping skills.
"My mother had hyper light sensitivity,
"she couldn't bear light.
"If you opened a packet of potato chips,
"that drove her crazy.
"She was sensitive to light, to noise, to everything.
"We never went to the cinema.
"We never went to a supermarket.
"My mom couldn't cope. And my doctors say I've inherited it,
"I've inherited an inability to cope."
And it's like, I'd never even heard of that expression.
And no baby's born with an inability to cope,
that's a belief.
She said, "Anyway, I hate all these doctors and nurses
"but I have to go every week to this group therapy."
I said, "What do you do there?"
She goes, "Well, we go around in a circle
"and we say something."
"What do you say?"
She goes, "I say, 'I like daffodils.
"'I like butterflies.'"
I went, "Oh, no, no, no, no.
"That's not really very effective
"because your mind likes to be turned on with exciting,
"relevant, up-to-date words that make a picture."