I've had a lot of women say to me lately, Mark, I wouldn't approach that guy cause he's
out of my league or Mark, I didn't give that guy my number cause he's out of my league.
This is how I usually respond, "Oh my God."
Once I've regathered myself, the first thing I say is, you're not wrong for thinking that.
Leagues are normal to think about. In fact, evolution told our brain to think of leagues
for a very important reason. You see, when we were living in tribes and when it was all
about passing on our genes, survival and replication, leagues and social structures served a very
important purpose. If we aimed down, if a woman aimed down, it was likely that she meets
someone who couldn't provide and protect for her. His status wasn't high enough, her genes
would not be passed on. But if she aimed up, it was likely that she'd end up with men who
were committed or with higher status women already.
That meant that his resources could necessarily be directed towards her, and it probably means
that she'd also create an enemy that she didn't really need. So it became important to look
for someone in your own league, and we got this feedback to not date out of our league.
The problem is evolution didn't care about finding you a happy, fulfilling, amazing relationship.
Evolution just cared about basically taking care of you during that very vulnerable time
while you were pregnant, falling in love for a year and a half, two years, and making sure
you survived and passed on your genes. When it comes to finding a compatible partner for
a fulfilling relationship, leagues are absolute bullshit. They are completely in your head.
So what I want to give you today is a few strategies you can use so that you don't have
to self sabotage yourself and you can date the men that you want and deserve.
Number one, when you see someone, a man you think is out of your league, trigger this
thought, I wonder if we'd even be compatible. How many times have you met someone who you
thought was attractive and then when you actually talk to them, they were about as interesting
as cardboard. We've all had that experience, right? We meet someone who's beautiful, so
attractive, and then you get talking to them. You realize they're not even attractive or
perhaps you've had the experience where you go, Hey, this person is actually pretty attractive,
but then you get to know them and you realize your values are a total mismatch. You couldn't
date have a relationship with that person even if you wanted to. You're just not compatible.
The reality is almost every guy you see that you think he's out of my league is either
A - not attractive once you meet him, B - not compatible with you for a relationship, or
C - both.
When see them in this view, it takes off all the pressure because you know that, well,
we're almost certainly not moving towards a relationship or something anyway, so why
be nervous talking to him? You can go in and be in the moment, and just see if there is
compatibility and interest there and then you can go from there without ruling yourself
out before you've even met the guy. Number two is expose yourself to more men who you
perceive as out of your league. When you're around these men all the time, you realize
actually they're just humans. You take them off the pedestal and we've got another video
on that coming out soon, which I'm excited for you to see, but you take them off the
pedestal and you just see them as the normal humans that they are. When you're spending
time around men like this all the time, you actually fully absorb this concept that most
of them are just dorks.
Most of them don't have values that would match me. A lot of them aren't actually as
attractive as you think once you get to know them. You bring them down to your level and
you talk to them like normal people, and then every now and then you find one where you
go, I can actually date this one, but you're not thinking them as out of your league. You're
just thinking of them as people that you're getting to know. Finally, number three, remember
what truly makes men commit. It's about the support. It's about the companionship. It's
about the exclusivity. It's about the sex on tap. It's about the excitement you bring
to his life. This is what makes a man think about commitment. You can look at that guy
and say, Oh my God, he's so beautiful and attractive. He's so out of my league. But
the reality is he's waiting to see what you can bring to his life.
He's waiting to see those boyfriend benefits and as soon as he meets you, he's subconsciously
weighing those up going is this someone who brings the energy to my life that I'd want
to commit to? So forget about looks and social statuses. That stuff is all in your head.
Men commit because of the boyfriend benefits. I'll put the link to that video up there and
in the description if you haven't already seen it, but that's what men are processing
when they're meeting you. They're not thinking about leagues. So the bottom line is this,
stop using leagues, stop using social status as any sort of excuse not to meet the men
that you want and deserve. I did a recent video on how to find a good man. It's a couple
of months back, but I'll put the link up here and in the description, and I talk about how
when you aim low, you often end up shooting yourself in the foot.
You meet people who aren't compatible with you because you're not aiming for the man
you want and deserve. So get this idea of leagues out of your head and instead, get
in there. Meet people as humans. Find out if you're compatible and realize that what
men really commit for is the energy you bring to their lives. Well, that's the video. Thank
you for watching. Let me know your thoughts, comments, questions, et cetera. Put it all
in the space below as you always do. Give the video a thumbs up. Hit that big red subscribe
button and the little bell so you get the notifications. Thanks again for watching,
and I'll see you in the next video soon.
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