Kia ora koutou katoa.
So it’s decided then… to show the world just how crazy about rugby we all are, we’re changing our name to…
…Air All Blacks.
That’s awesome!
So team, what’s the Air All Blacks safety video going to look like?
Hey do you mind if I cut in here, thank you.
As the airline’s lawyer, I have to ask you crazy Kiwis to not have any rapping and no complicated safety demonstrations.
You know what in fact... I’ll do it.
Listen up, guys!
Kia ora and welcome aboard this Air All Blacks flight.
It’s important you obey all crewmember instructions, placards and illuminated signs.
If you don’t… you’re fired.
No, you’re not.
But remember that all loose items should be stowed in the overhead locker or under the seat in front of you.
So what do you think guys?
If it’s the Air All Blacks safety video, why don’t we just use the All Blacks?
Haven’t they done that before?
Oops. That’s not right.
If the seatbelt sign lights up…
…return to your seat and buckle up.
Seatbelts fit low and tight across your hips. Keep them on throughout the flight.
If you need to get up, simply lift the lever like so.
If an emergency were to happen during take-off or landing, tighten your seatbelt and place your forehead against the seat in front.
Put your feet back and firmly on the floor, and hold your lower legs.
If there’s no seat in front of you or it’s too far away put one hand over the other on top of your head, elbows on either side of your legs, feet back and firmly on the floor.
He whakaaroa anō? Any other ideas?
How about we let the fans do the safety video?
Look! The All Blacks!
If you need some air, oxygen masks will fall from above.
Just pull down on the mask, place it over your nose and mouth and tighten by pulling both sides of the elastic.
Don’t worry if the bag doesn’t inflate, oxygen will flow easily.
Make sure you’ve got your own mask on before helping children or those less able.
Your lifejacket is within easy reach. It’s under your seat.
They’re easy to fasten sitting down. Just rip back the tag, place it over your head, clip the straps together and tighten.
Only pull on the red tab to inflate after you’ve exited the aircraft.
For more inflation, blow into the mouthpiece.
We’ve got lifejackets for all sizes – even infants.
Just so you guys know this lifejacket clashes with my tie.
How about we let some of the Old Boys handle this video?
Sorry guys, smoking isn’t allowed anywhere on this flight. Including the lavatories. Using and charging e-cigarettes is also prohibited.
If it’s time to leave the game or we need to evacuate the aircraft, emergency escape path lighting will show you the way to the exit.
Your crew are now pointing out your exits.
They could be behind you. Count the rows to your nearest exit.
If we do need to evacuate, leave your bags behind.
Come on, fellas.
Lightweight handheld electronic devices can be used at any time, but must be switched to flight mode first.
Ooh ooh we’ve got an idea!
Why don’t you let us kids do it?
I like that!
Wi-Fi is not available on this aircraft, but feel free to use Bluetooth.
Please switch to flight mode first and then turn on Bluetooth.
For more information, check your inflight entertainment screen. And remember, all cellular functions must remain off at all times.
Ensure handheld devices are secured in your hand, in your clothing or seat pocket.
Stow larger items in the overhead locker or in a bag underneath the seat in front.
Rick!!
What?!
Shall I give him a ticket?
If you lose your device in the seat, please call your Flight Attendant for help.
For more information, have a look at the safety card in the seat pocket in front of you.
Or ask your Air All Blacks Flight Attendant.
When do you think they’ll do the next All Blacks safety video?
Four more years probably.
Thanks for flying Air All Blacks.
Kia kaha go the All Blacks…!