We're going to be talking about how to tell if your ex is in a rebound relationship or
not. But first, my name is Clay with ModernLove.Life, where we help you get the great loving relationship
that you're looking for without having to play mind games, without having to play hard
to get, and without having to pretend to be someone or something that you are not because
you deserve to be left with unique, amazing, and wonderful person that you are. And if
you agree with me, do me a favor by giving this video a thumbs up and by subscribing
to this channel while you are down there. Also, you might want to know that we do have
our course called The X Solution Program. You can find out more about it down below
in the description for this video, but it does take you through the entire journey of
getting back together with your ex, navigating their emotional world, all that stuff. It
even includes a specific strategy on how to navigate through your ex's rebound relationship
called the decoy strategy. Okay. With that being said, let's go ahead
and get into ways you can tell if your ex is in a rebound relationship. Now, there are
a lot of theories out there about rebound relationships. Oftentimes people think that
it has to happen within a certain window of time after a breakup and that causes people
to start doing breakup math like, oh, well, if you were together for two years, then it'll
take two months to get over the breakup, so any relationship that you have within those
two months is a rebound relationship. Okay, first of all, there is no breakup math can
really accurately tell you whether or not your ex has moved on or not. Second of all,
a rebound relationship is not defined by a length of time in which it happens, a window
of time in which it happens. A rebound relationship is really defined by
how someone is dealing with their emotions and if they are dealing with their emotions
following a breakup in a unproductive and let's just say less than healthy sort of way,
it can cause them to pursue relationships for the wrong reasons. This is how rebound
relationships happen, and this is also why rebound relationships have a very poor track
record, because people are getting into these relationships, often both partners, not really
being 100% fully emotionally available and emotionally present. So they end up having
a lot of relationship problems. Let's just put it that way.
Again, if you want to learn more about rebound relationships, we do have an entire video
series on it. I'll put a video card for it up there in the corner. Check it out if you're
interested. Okay. So let's get into this. One of the ways that you can tell if your
ex is in a rebound relationship is if their new partner is someone who is either very,
very, very similar to you or the exact polar opposite of you in some kind of major sort
of way. Obviously, if they're very similar to you, it shows that they're trying to recreate
the same relationship dynamic that they had with you, but with someone else. So that usually
doesn't need much explanation, but if they are trying to create a new relationship with
someone who's kind of the polar opposite to you, this is where people get a little bit
confused and I need to kind of stop and explain things a little bit more clearly.
But if they are in this sort of polar opposite kind of thing, what's usually going on is
there was some aspect of the relationship that they had with you, and your ex is kind
of doing like a hard push away against that. And so they're saying like, okay, you were
really, I don't know, stingy and not very generous, so I'm going to go and date someone
who's maybe a little bit more of a spendthrift, like really super generous, always willing
to open up their wallet and spend things on whatever. That can be kind of like a hard
push against it, where it's not them kind of intentionally choosing like this is what
I want. I want someone who's going to be a good parent, somebody who's going to be loving
and accepting, but instead they're just like, "You were like this, so I'm going to date
someone who's like that." That's kind of the energy behind this whole
polar opposite kind of thing. Another thing that you can keep an eye out for to tell if
your ex is in a rebound relationship or not is if they do what's called displacement.
You can kind of think of this as fast forwarding. So oftentimes when we're in a relationship,
a natural, organic, healthy relationship, it has its sort of own state that it progresses
at. It usually takes people a certain period of time before they think about moving in
together, before they say "I love you", before they get engaged, before they get married,
all that sort of stuff. It's different for each person for each dynamic.
But if let's just say, for example, it took the two of you a year to talk about getting
married to one another and now suddenly you or your ex and their rebound have been together
for maybe only a few months or even weeks and now suddenly they're talking about getting
engaged. That is a sign of fast forwarding. Basically you and your ex were at basically
let's just say this level arbitrarily with your relationship, and so your ex is trying
to fast forward their new relationship to the point where it's kind of almost at the
same level of commitment. And what they're essentially doing is they're, like we talked
about before, recreating the same relationship dynamic with someone else. They are trying
to create that same level of commitment by shortcutting the natural, organic development
and growth that would take a normal couple maybe a year or two or whatever to get to
that level of commitment, and they're trying to cram it all into maybe just a few months
or a few weeks. That is what we mean when we talk about psychological
displacement, and this is very common in rebound relationships because the people in the relationship
are more interested in the idea of being in a relationship, the idea of being committed,
the idea of maybe being married or whatever, living together rather than they are with
actually being connected to one another and actually saying, "Yeah, you have the qualities
that I'm looking for in a longterm partner, and you have the kinds of qualities that I'm
looking for in a husband or wife or a parent or the future father or mother of my children
or whatever." And so they're more interested in the idea than the actual practicality of
creating that kind of relationship and bond with someone else.
Okay, classic emotionally unavailable sign, as it expresses itself in a rebound relationship
kind of situation. Okay, and another thing that your ex might do if they are in a rebound
relationship is they may have a very sudden change in values or behavior. Now, obviously
if you're in a relationship with someone that person should have some degree of influence
over you. They should be expanding your world in some way, maybe helping you see things
from a new perspective, showing you new things, hobbies, sports, interests, activities, things
like that, and that's totally normal. We kind of pick these things up as we interact with
people, as we get close to people, as we grow together.
But if your ex is coming out of the breakup with you and they're having like really stark
changes in their behavior, in their activities and their values and it's not just like, "Okay,
I learned from the past, I know that I need to be with someone who's like this," but it's,
again, more of that pushing away sort of behavior where they're either going the exact polar
opposite of something. Like maybe they were really, I don't know, straight edge professional
with you, and now they just want to, I don't know, sell everything and live out of an RV
or something like that. That could be an example of that.
Also, this is really an emotionally unavailable sign as well, too. It just shows that they
are not dealing with their emotions well. And of course, there's a really common way
of looking at this too as well. Really classic is if their values and their behaviors are
more in sort of like a numbing kind of pattern or a numbing sort of behavior. Again, totally
cliche example is drinking a lot, doing drugs, doing things to kind of numb out whatever
that might be for your ex, whether that is going out and dancing, not that dancing is
a numbing activity, but some people can use it as that. I know there's definitely people
that do ecstatic dance that use that as a way of waking themselves up and living more
fully into the moment, but it can also be used as a way to kind of forget everything
that they're going through. So that can be something to look out for too is sudden behavior
changes that may be a sort of push away kind of energy behind them or something that could
potentially be a numbing activity. Like if your ex's new rebound relationship
is really kind of paper thin in terms of depth and substance, and it's just more kind of
like a cotton candy sort of relationship, that's also another kind of thing to look
for that could indicate that yeah, this is just a rebound relationship. My ex is not
dealing with their emotions in a healthy sort of way. This is probably going to have a lot
of the challenges and a lot of the issues that rebound relationships often have.
Again, we do have that video playlist which I'll link to at the end of this video as well
too. But once again, if you do want to learn more about how to navigate rebound relationships,
how to navigate your ex's emotional world in general, you'd probably like our course
called The X Solution Program. I'll put a link to that in the description for this video
down below. You can check it out if you're interested, but with that being said, thank
you so much for watching this video. Again, if you like what we're doing here,
please help me out by giving this video a thumbs up. Every thumbs up, or I mean, even
thumbs down really tells the YouTube algorithm that, Hey, I like Clay's stuff and you might
want to think about showing it to more people as well too. It helps our channel grow. So
definitely do that. Also subscribe to the channel if you're new here. But with that
being said, be sure to check out this video series over here on rebound relationships
if you'd like to learn more about that, the dynamics of them, how they work, why they
work, why they don't work, why they often have difficulties and all that stuff, or you
might want to check out this video up here could be interesting for you as well too,
auto-generated by the YouTube algorithm. Anyway, take care and I'll talk to you next time.