[Miss Croyden] So it’s the morning after the Vanderbilt ball, and I’m just
getting ready…
for my maid to come and get me ready
Hi!
And then Lady Ashborne
visits my room unannounced.
[Lady Ashborne] Hi! Did you have fun yesterday?
[Miss Croyden] Oh I did, yes! It was splendid
[Lady Ashbury] That is great, I mean after that whole
Lord Bradbury situation you really deserve some fun.
Anyway I think Miss Wilde
danced with the Prince like three times yesterday
[Miss Croyden] She did not say that.
[Lady Ashbury] Just thought I’d let you know though.
[Miss Croyden] And then she just left. I was absolutely in shock
but I also thought "Miss Wilde,
if your bourgeoisie ass wants to see me jealous
I will give you jealous”
[Miss Croyden] Good morning ladies
[Lady Ashbury] Good morning
[Miss Wilde] How are you doing today Miss Croyden?
[Miss Croyden] So I enter the living room and she's just sitting there like nothing happened,
like she didn’t just steal MY PRINCE that I have been courting for weeks
And he’s not even cute, so that's a huge sacrifice on my side.
I just felt so betrayed
[Miss Croyden] But… you did this for what?
[Miss Wilde] Why not? [Miss Croyden] Why?
[Miss Wilde] Why not? [Miss Croyden] MhWhy though?
[Lady Ashbury] This was sort of when I realized I made a mess. And not just a regular mess. But a mess the size
of Mrs Collins’ hairdo last week at the opera.
Which was huge.
[Miss Lindsey] Wait, I am so confused right now
[Miss Lindsey] So Miss Croyden enters the room, and she seems
pretty upset. And then Miss Wilde gets all passive aggressive towards her. And I’m
just sitting there, barbeque sauce on my breakfast plate, and I have no idea what is going on.
[Miss Croydon] Miss Wilde here is a two-faced harlot who aims higher than her raggedy bustle pad should.
[Miss Wilde] Well, maybe Miss Lindsey wouldn't be so confused, if she actually paid attention to eligible bachelors at the ball yesterday
instead of lying horseshit-faced under the table
[Miss Wilde] I did what I did, I said what I said, end of story
[Miss Lindsey] Excuse me?
[Miss Lindsey] So out of nowhere, Miss Wilde starts attacking
me for no reason. I mean she wasn’t lying, but if Miss Wilde
was looking for Mr Ashley yesterday, there’s enough room under the table…
for two people.
[Miss Croyden] Well at least she wasn’t walking around painted like a cheap courtesan…
[Miss Wilde] What did you just say?
[Lady Ashbury] She did not.
[Miss Wilde] What did you just say?
I’ll rip your headpiece off. I will rip your headpiece off
[Miss Croyden] Oh yeah?
[Lady Ashbury] Oh my God, ladies stop it
[Miss Wilde] I will rip that fake headpiece off your head
[Lady Ashbury] Ladies stop it, that is a- that is a Worth dress you’re tearing right now
[Miss Lindsey] Yeah, give her what she deserves, Miss Croydon
[Miss Wilde] Like, if those wenches want to keep lying to themselves, I don’t care. But we all
know once I entered that ballroom, the Prince was mine.