[clip] I declare to the pokémon of the world...
I will be the greatest Pokémon Trainer!
[Adam] You should declare it to people, not pokémon.
Not gonna get any real feedback from them.
Secretely, that was, like, a wild Pikachu that showed up
and his real one was dead.
[clip] Hold on and don't yell!
[Mark] "I said don't fucking yell." [Adam] Yeah, what the fuck?
[clip] Hey, what's the big idea?
[Cool Cat Growl]
[Adam] Let's get rid of all these signs!
That accent.
[clip] And jush remembah, I'm tha tahp cat!
[laughter]
[Adam] "Well, you skied it all over my floor. Get the fuck outta here."
[clip] Looks like a Pikachu.
[Adam] Uhm, yeah, looks like a Pikachu.
[clip] Chansey.
[Mark] Ugh.
Disgusting, inhuman, disgusting fucking creatures.
[clip] Chansey.
[both] Ugh.
[Mark] They're like the twins from "The Shining."
Look at those soulless eyes.
[clip] If there's anything I can do, please, just tell me.
You can be more responsible. You don't let your pokémon battle until it's in this condition!
[Adam] I thought it was like dog fighting.
[clip] Just leave everything to me.
[Adam] Ohh.
[Mark] And Chansey.
That's not a real pokémon. [Adam] I know.
[Mark] That looks like the knock-off toys you'd find in Chinatown.
Who you gonna call? [clip] I'll call home.
[laughter]
[Adam] That's obnoxious.
I hope we never get to this future.
[clip] Where are you, Ash?
The Pokémon Center in Viridian City.
[Adam] "I already fucked up so bad."
[clip] I just spoke to your mother and—
[Mark] "What were you doin' at my mother's house, Oak?"
[Adam] "Are you a boy or a girl??"
[clip] Who's that pokémon? [Adam] Oh my god!!
Iiiiiiiit's...
a smoker.
[loud cough]
[clip] I knew I'd find you here!
[Adam] "Don't bring your bike indoors!"
[clip] What happened to my bike?
[Mark] "The patriarchy happened to my bike!"
[clip] Now I can see why your pokémon is in the... woah
[Mark] "Woah wow woooooow!"
[clip] You're gonna pay for what you did to my bike!
[Mark] It's just a bike, get... Kijiji.
[clip] It's my Pikachu.
[Adam] "He's dying."
"I fucked up so bad already."
[Mark] But if you hit the "Like" button, we might be able to save this poor animal.
Oh no, what'd they do to him? [Adam laughs]
Oh no. [Adam] They got him a new one.
[Mark] Chansey, nooo. [Adam] He'll never know.
[Mark] "That's not my Pikachu, you just put charcoal on his face!"
[clip] You should go in with it, Ash.
[both] Mmm, you should go in with it. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[clip] Meowth! [Mark talks like Meowth]
[Adam] "Ekans" spelled backwards is "snake".
[Mark] Fuck off. [Adam] It's true!
[Mark] You literally say this every time we watch Pokémon. [Adam laughing] It saves a lot of time for writing.
Meeeegh!
[clip] Then go squash him!
[Adam] Let's kill this little boy! [laughter]
[clip] They must've cut the power! [Adam] Why?
[clip] But we got our own Pika-power-source!
[Adam] Oh my god.
They have slaves!
[Mark] Well, it's okay because it's cute. [laughter]
[Adam] We've surgically altered their faces to appear happy.
[clip] We're never gonna beat them that way!
[Adam] You have hands too, Misty.
Why do you need to hold that... cart?
Oh no.
[Mark] "Yeeeah rat trap!"
[Adam laughs]
[Adam] "Go, Goldeen!"
[clip] Girl thinks she's pretty.
I agree with her. [Adam] Uhh...
[clip] I think she's pretty too. [Adam] Ew...
[clip] Pretty pathetic. [Adam] Oh.
[Mark] "Ohhhh you turned that one around on me!!"
[clip] Pokéball, go!
[Adam] Non-specific pokémon, go!
I was right. It's a Goldeen.
[clip] Goldeen, return!
[Mark] "I sure showed youuuuu!!"
[clip] You know as well as I do that a water pokémon can't battle on land.
[Mark] Then why did you fucking use it?
[Adam] Aaaahhhhh. [Mark] Wow! Pika-Power!
[Adam] All the replacement Pikachus.
[Mark] Orgy, yeah! [Adam] Oh my god.
[Mark] Yiff mode, activate! [Adam] You're disgusting.
[Mark] That's what they're doing. It's a screech-pile.
[laughter]
[Adam] That's not what they're called.
[Mark] I watched it on an episode of CSI, so I know exactly all about furries.
[clip] Pika Pika?
Pika!
Pika Pika Power?
Pika!
[Adam] What?
[Mark laughing] Pika Power!
[clip] You want more power!
[Adam] I don't understand how this could possibly generate enough power.
[deadly screams and music from hell]
[Adam] Well... all those people are dead.
[laughter]
Great.
[clip] Even if it is a pokémon, bugs are disgusting and I don't like them!
[Adam] Fuck off, you racist.
[clip] This one's a piece o' cake.
[Adam] It's weird how it expands like that. Do you put one up your butt?
[clip] Pokéball, go!
[Mark] "If I catch this one I swear I'll never get rid of it."
[clip] Will Misty ever get a new bicycle?
[laughter]
[Adam] Nobody cares about Misty's bicycle.
[Mark] Who gives a fuck?
[clip] This one's a piece o' cake.