Hello, everybody. My name is Markiplier
and welcome back to 'Will You Press the Button'
Now we're going to find out if I'm actually insane or not
and I've already determined that before I even started recording.
But, it doesn't matter what I say because it's not
going to be as good as the stuff in front of me right here
Okay, alright cool.
So the first one is
*Reads options shown on screen*
Well, that's just getting what you asked for, right?
I mean, if you want to know when people are lying
Then, they have reasons for lying and some of those reasons ain't too pretty
I mean, people can lie to your face.
Friends lie right to your face
just because they don't want to hurt your feelings.
They're called little white lies.
Now, I'm not saying they're good or bad,
but I'll take the ability to tell when people are lying
no matter what, because that's invaluable.
I mean, who cares? I mean, it's not like I can read their minds.
I don't have to ask the question.
And if I didn't want to know the answer anyway, then why would I ask question in the first place?
That's dumb. I'll push it.
What's the downside there?
Yeah that's right, everybody else is with me.
Yeah, what's the downside?
*reading*
Does that mean that I have to give birth to this child?
Because, I don't think 12 year old me would be able to handle that
But then again, I- I'm invisible so I guess I could just... hide.
That's being irresponsible. But then what 12 year old would be an- a responsible parent?
Oh god. This is bad either way. I don't think I value the ability to turn invisible.
I guess you know-you know the thing is, like if you're 12 years old, and you had a kid,
no one in their right mind would trust a 12 year old to raise a child
So it's not even like you would have to raise it. A 12 year old is not ready to be a parent so either
Child protective services would take the child or your parents would help you out.
I ga- I think actually now that I'm going for that, maybe
*up an octave or three* Maybe, maybe I'll take the invisibility, cuz hey a superpower is a superpower no matter what the cost.
It's all about sacrificing for the greater good, right?
That's how it works?
That's what Pete-o Park-o told me.
Ooh 54 to 46, eh not bad
Ooohhhh... Don't run away Richard, you. That's even though I suggested that .
But I wasn't serious when I suggested it, it wasn't serious.
Alright next!
*reading*
See, I don't really have a car of my dreams
It-I've never been a car guy. I'm not a motorhead.
I'm not anyone that actually like reads up into cars.
I don't know what Hannah Dutton is talking about when they're saying '67 Chevy Impala.
I mean I know it's a 1967 Chevy... Impala
but I don't know if that's important or not.
I have no idea. So, this is meaningless to me.
So I'd rather not waste my life sitting and staring at something for six months.
No!
What?!
Why would people press that? That's wasted life?
That's wasted life. I mean, I'm thinking - if you think about this logically
I bet that's a cumulative of six total months
So you can't even do that in six months you have to stare at it
And when you're staring at it a counter is clocking off
Like you stared at it 1 second then 2 second(s) then 3 second(s)
And then you have have to wait for that to wind down and every time you look away
The clock ain't gon' tick no more
So HA, all of you losers waste years of your life staring at that
because you're only awake for
two-thirds of the day anyway. So it'd take you like
Uhh...
Uh..
A long time! *Nine months, Mark. You were going to be an engineer. Engineers need math, hon.*
Ha gotcha!
Rid the world of depression permanently, but the person you love most will lose their memory of you.
Aaawww...
Hmm I mean I-
That's kind of like a benefit of everybody
I mean rid the world of depression permanently, that- that helps a lot of people
like a lot of people, a loooooot of people
A LOOOT of people
And hey! They only lose their memory of me
If they love me, then it'll be like a romantic comedy movie.
I'll just win them back!
Yeah! And I - it's not like I'm going to be depressed about it afterwards
So I guess I'll just be happy and I'll just go on-I'll ask them out on a date.
I'll ask 'em out
I'll show them the pictures of us and be like you had amnesia.
Weee were looovers, so *breaks into laughter*
I don't-
That's the worst way to tell anybody that thing
but just imagine that I said that more smoothly
and then we went on a date, so I'll press that button. Yeah that's fine.
Oh come on now
47% of people- bleugh (? I don't know how to describe the noise).
*reading*
I mean, just because you attract them doesn't mean that you have to do anything about that
I mean dangerous people
That's a bit ambiguous there
What kind of danger we talking about here?
People that like to live on the edge of danger?
People that like danger? Adrenaline junkies? Or like..
Dictators, Kim Jong-Un is he going to be knocking on my door?
Anytime soon?
Fine. I'll press it. Yeah, sure.
Oooo, I'm in the barely minority here. I mean-
Just because they're strange, ugly, and dangerous,
doesn't mean that your life ain't gonna be fun
I mean if the dangerous people are attracted to you.
They're probably not gonna...hurt ya.
Unless they're like obsessive about it.
But then, hey, you've got everybody else on your side
You'll just pit the people against each other have everyone fight over your affections
It'd be beautiful or horrifying, either way gonna be interesting.
*reading*
But I alreeeeaaady aaam!
*continues reading*
Uhhhhh..
You know you can get used to anything *seriously debates if he believes that or not*
It's just a paper cut right? I guess I can afford *awkward laughter* to get it taken care of.
Anyway, I'll push it. I'll do it. I like to live life on the edge.
Oh, ya big babies who didn't push that button.
The 46% of ya. Eh *quietly* Fuck ya
*reading*
I think that's a given isn't that what you're trying to do
If you go back to your childhood and
Fix all of your mistakes?
Isn't that what you're doing?
Inevitably you're going to make more mistakes. Like if your if your life changes,
Then you're going to make more mistakes - the butterfly effect and all that bullshit,
But you know I'll do it
I'll give that a go. Why not?
Yeah
Didn't say it would change your future in a bad way.
Yeah, thank you Kybo Tyk Rose
*reading*
I mean that's kind of like what I do right now like YouTube
Is kind of my dream job.
And I'm already five years into it, so if I get another five years of the good stuff
And then I can't do it anymore. Hey, that was a good life!
I'll slip into like obscurity.
I'll fall back into the wayside, like I think I'll have a great time here.
If I can get ten so I don't even
Think I'm gonna get ten years out of this
I think I got another like three in me before the internet ousts me
Onto some raft in the middle of the ocean and then
I'm just fending for myself on some
Burnt-out reality show
When's there going to be a reality show about washed-up YouTubers?
I want to be first in line to that thing because
I'm pretty sure I will have to be first in line for that.
I'll push that button. Yeah, give me that.
WHAT?!
Whaaaaaat?
whaaaaaat?
Really, the majority would not press that button?
Ten years is a long time.
To do something you love for ten years
And it's not like you still couldn't do it as a hobby. But, eh, whatever.....
*reading*
Are you-are you only haunted by the dead body when you're talking to that one?
And what do you mean haunted by their dead body?
Is it just like their dead body is strewn about your house?
It's not even saying like you're haunted by their ghost you're literally haunted by their dead body.
I mean, I guess that's bad if you wake up one morning and roll over like
Aww god damn it
Thomas Jefferson get the fuck out of my bed.
Oh wait! You're dead! I can't -eargh-
Talk to the -Turn over and talk to their ghost "Hey! get your corpse out of my bed!
You and Abe Lincoln, I'm sick of your pranks!
You sacks of shit!"
Yeah, that's probably what that is. I'll do that.
That sounds fun, you get to hang with all those people.
*reading*
Well, I guess that problem is solved if you get laid if you're a guy, which I am.
And a girl uhhh..
That doesn't apply to me, so I guess that's no good.
God! I would love to not have to sleep.
But man if I didn't have to eat like what does that mean for like working out and stuff?
Do I just wither away, or do I-I mean I guess I could, you know.
It doesn't say you-yeah, you're optional you can live without
them, so I still could if I wanted to, yeah.
Yeeaaah
YeaAAAAH
Okay, all right. I think I can deal with that. I think I could deal with that.
I could do that!
Yeah, I'll take that because of how much more time
I would have in the day if I didn't have to sleep.
Well, it'd be amazing all right. I'll do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't have to deal with the weekly period, so I'm okay.
That's all good don't worry about that! Yeah!
*reading*
Evans got the right idea
'So basically Luigi's mansion huh?'
Yeah, I mean
Spooky ghosts. You can make a fortune on a reality show.
You have a reality show in your spooky mansion.
You hire a camera crew and just follow around with your spooky ghost roommates.
Who're always pulling spooky pranks on you.
That would make a killing!
That'd be awesome! I don't have to live there. I don't have to live there!
I can just-that could just be my day job.
I'll press that button. Hell yeah! Oh hell yeah!
So anyway, that's all for 'Will You Press the Button'.
I hope you enjoyed this spattering of questions here.
I'll leave you with this one conundrum.
You have all the powers of a great white shark
Which I don't know what that means in terms of powers,
so I guess you get to swam good
You get to be a real chomper.
You get a whole bunch more teeth, and they constantly fall out
But you don't have to worry about it because you have new ones regrowing all the time.
Oh also you-you're huuuuge.
I don't know what the-what are the powers of a great white?
I don't know. Having that bass line just always following you.
duunnn dunnn... duuuunnnn duun...
I'd like to think if you never have to stop moving
you just always get those guys going slightly faster the faster you go
dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun
Like "I'm just going for a jog!"
Dun dun dun dun dun dun
Okay, anyway. I'll leave you with this conundrum.
Let me know what you would pick in the comments below
And thank you everybody so much for watching
And as always I will see you in the next video!
Bye bye!