In this video, we're going to be talking about five strange ways your ex actually is showing
you that they still love you. These are going to be again a little bit unusual. So stick
through to the end. This isn't going to be like the usual stuff like, "Oh yeah, they tell you that
they love you and all that stuff." But let's go ahead and get into this. But first though, my name
is Clay with modernlove.life. We help you with the great loving relationship that you're looking for,
without having to play mind games, without having to play hard to get, without having to pretend to
be someone or something that you are not. Because you of course deserve to be loved for the unique,
amazing, and wonderful person that you are. If you agree with me and you want to help me out
with this channel, please hit that thumbs up button for the algorithm and subscribe
to the channel, and leave a comment down below. With that being said we are going to be talking
about communicating with your ex. One of the best ways that we can help you with that is through our
course called Effortless Connection. You can find information on that down below in the description
box of this video, but it's there to help you with communication. Anyway, with that being said,
let's go ahead and get into this. So the first way that your ex might be telling you that they still
love you is when they're trying to connect with you in some sort of meaningful way. Especially,
if there's been some sort of choppy or dicey past between the two of you. Maybe some hurt feelings,
maybe some challenges, maybe some difficult arguments or whatever that maybe the two of
you have had in the past. They're making some sort of effort to connect with you. This is what
people might call a repair attempt. At least I read about that in John Gottman. Repair attempts,
when you try to go and repair a dynamic after things haven't been so great.
Weird factoid, by the way, John Gottman's office is in the University of Washington Campus.
It's in Guthrie Hall. I mean, you can look this up. I actually used to work in the
chemistry library when I went to the Udub, directly across the street from Guthrie Hall.
I was the guy that shelved the books and went through and made sure that they were all in
order by their call number and everything. So kind of weird. Didn't know anything about him
at the time. But yeah, we may have crossed paths a few times. I don't think he ever
went to the chemistry library, but maybe I saw him on the street or something. Anyway, if your
ex is trying to connect with you in some sort of meaningful way, especially despite a choppy past,
that can be a really helpful sign that they're still in love with you in some capacity.
Sign number two, is if they're being honest with you, that is to say they're willing to
share what's honestly going on with them and what they're actually thinking. There's so many reasons
why after breakup, your ex might not be honest with you. They might just try to tell you what
they think you want to hear so that you'll go away and leave them alone. Or they might even try to go
out of the way to hurt you by intentionally saying things to cause pain to you. That's something else
that we might talk about later. But if they're willing to be honest with you and just tell you
things straight, then I think that shows that they definitely care about you enough to just, give it
to you straight. That's to say they're willing to have uncomfortable conversations with you. They're
willing to be transparent with you. They're willing to just tell it to you without having
to sugarcoat it. Without having to try to, slink out the back door and escape or anything like
that. Believe it or not, that is a sign of love if someone is willing to just be honest with you.
So that's definitely important thing to look for. The third thing is that their actions
are indicating that they love you, even when their words might be saying something else.Your
ex might be saying lots of things. "We'll never get back together. There's too much pain that's
done." Stuff like that. That might be all well and good but if their body language... Their body is
telling you different things, maybe the two of you were hugging goodbye and it's a little bit longer
than it needs to be. Or, maybe they're kind of like lovingly putting their arm on your shoulder
or something in a moment when maybe you need some support or maybe the two of you are holding hands,
or maybe, something else is happening. Like there's one of those long lingering goodbyes at
the end of seeing each other. Where it just seems like they don't want to go anywhere.
This is the stuff you should be paying attention to a lot more than the words that are coming out
of their mouth. Because they could have any number of reasons for saying whatever it is they're going
to be saying. We've talked about this a lot in our series on the five stages, we have a whole
video series on that right up there, check it out. It kind of explains a lot of your exes,
confusing behaviors and unpredictable things that might come up as they're going through
this emotional experience. But despite what they might say, again, I don't want you to get caught
up on what they might say. So many people do this and they say, "Oh my ex said we're never
going to get back together. Therefore, we're never going to get back together." That's what
they felt at that time. But that's coming from an emotional place. If you can shift the emotion,
what they're going to say, out their mouth is going to change. What you want to do is
you want to pay attention to their actions, their body language, what they're actually doing. Okay?
If that's telling you, "Okay, this is coming from a place of love and affection"
Then that's probably what they're feeling. If you could just somehow take a remote control and mute
them, and mute everything that they're saying, and just pay attention to what they're actually doing
with their body that's going to tell you a lot right there. The fourth sign that your ex might
still love you is if they're avoiding things. Now, we did talk about honesty and that is an important
aspect of it but some people just don't have a direct kind of personality. They don't actually
feel comfortable just directly telling things to people. Oftentimes they might want to be
considerate of your feelings, right? That's not to say that they're giving you false hope or that
they're stringing you along or anything like that. They just don't want to hurt your feelings. So,
they might be in a relationship with someone new. For example, they might not bring that up. They
might not let you know about that. They might be trying to hide it from you. That Could be because
they're trying to protect you emotionally. Of course, there could be all sorts of other
reasons why they might be doing that as well, too. Maybe the relationship is very young and
they don't want to put it out there yet, or any number of things. But if they're
trying to be considerate of your feelings, and if they're trying to avoid bringing up
uncomfortable things or things that might make you feel uncomfortable or things that they know might
agitate you in the wrong way. And that in itself is also a sign that they do care for you and that
they do still love you in a certain capacity. The fifth sign that we're going to be talking
about in this video anyway, is that they are pulling away emotionally. They're pulling away,
maybe giving you space, maybe doing no contact, or they're just kind of walling you out. Now, how
could this actually be a sign that they love you? The truth is that they might feel guilty about
hurting you. They might feel guilty about things that happen during your relationship, things that
happened in the past, all sorts of things like that. So what they might think is like, "Who am I
to go back into this person's life and to risk hurting them all over again? Who am I to go back
in there and reopen that wound in some way?" So they just are kind of like giving you some space,
being considerate, kind of saying like, "Okay, I need to give them some, some time to heal. Maybe
someday we can reconnect or something like that." You're probably going to get a sense that this
is what they're doing if you're paying attention to the emotional level anyway.
Rather than like, "Okay, they're just really angry at me. So they're trying to wall me out.
Or they're just fed up with me texting them way too often, and they're just trying to like create
some distance." You're going to be able to tell the difference between that versus them trying to
be considerate of your feelings. You're going to be able to know that. So that's why it's important
to not just look at all of this in terms of like, "Oh, they did this, they did that. They said this,
they said that." But to look at the emotional level underneath all of this stuff. Okay?
So if you're looking at the emotional dynamic and they're pulling away and you could see it
kind of fitting within their personality and kind of fitting within the dynamic of what's happening,
that they might just be trying to be considerate of your feelings and emotions
then, yeah that could definitely also be a sign of love. So when it comes to all of this stuff,
what you want to do is you want to be able to be able to communicate effectively. To communicate
in a straightforward and direct way that's actually conducive
to actually creating the kind of relationship that you want. There's so much stuff out there
on the internet and so much stuff on YouTube and all these other places that will tell you to play
mind games in some capacity or other. "Oh yeah. It's all about power and you have to demonstrate
that you have more power than they do. So you have to do no contact until
they break emotionally under the pressure and come crawling back to you over broken shards of glass,
begging to be back together with you." I don't know. I guess that's somehow fulfills
some people's like bizarre fantasies or something. I never really understood that. But
people keep saying it so I'm guessing it's appealing to someone. Rather than that,
which is basically a mind game, a power play or some weird reverse psychology thing. What if you
just actually brought yourself to the interaction, like an actual civilized adult and said like, "Oh,
Hey, it seems like you feel uncomfortable interacting with me right now. I don't want
you to feel uncomfortable talking to me. So is there something we can do to kind of like
patch this up? Or can you tell me a little bit more about what's going on? Or maybe
it's just all in my mind and maybe you just had a really weird day today or something like that?"
If you start to actually have conversations like that, you can really bypass a lot of this
mind game stuff. You can bring more of yourself, genuinely to the interactions and you can actually
create more of that loving bonding connection. Okay? So if that is something that you do want
to learn more about how to do, once again, we do have our course called Effortless Connection.
You can find it in the description box below. If it's right for you, feel free
to sign up if it's not right for you, no worries. But I hope this video has been helpful for you. If
you do like these videos that we put up, hit that thumbs up button and subscribe to the channel and
all that good stuff. If you do want to learn more once again about those five emotional
stages that your ex goes through, please feel free to check out this video series over here.
A lot of people have said it's been very helpful for them. Might be for you too, as well.
Also, please check out this video over here. If that's not something that's, where you're at,
The Five Stages. But anyway, please take care and I'll talk to you next time.