- Three, two, one, Medical Meme Review. Peewoop!
Family members: Hey, you're basically a doctor.
Can you check this out for me?
Me, a first year med student.
(Mike laughs)
Oh, there's an arm missing.
Now this is a story all about
how my life got twisted upside down.
These are maneuvers that we do to actually try
and expedite the baby turning to be non-breach,
meaning head down, but it's funny
that they threw a little Will Smith action there.
"Prince of Bel-Air."
What is it, Gallbladder?
Can't you see I have a lot to do?
I make these.
You made stones?
You're just supposed to hold what I give you.
Get out. Go on.
I make these.
Oh, this is the cutest thing ever. Aw.
Whenever they personify organs and make them cute like this,
it makes me wanna hug them, especially when they make these.
Harry Potter and the COVID-19 test.
Oh my God!
This is a scene from "Harry Potter", right?
This is like the giant.
Where are my Potter fans at? Look at my glasses.
Should I do the... (groans)
What house do I belong in?
It's exactly what I was afraid of.
What?
Skeletons?
I have some bad news for you.
You.
You know what you have inside of you?
Don't tell anybody that I told you this.
A frigging skeleton is inside you.
I can only say that 'cause I'm a doctor and I know.
America leads the world again.
Snack masks, pack it up on the go.
Easily fits one hot dog with bun, small bag of chips.
If you laugh, you probably have no friends.
Caution, wet floor. (laughs) I remember when I grew up,
I had a shirt that said I have lots of friends,
you just can't see them.
But for anyone who doesn't know, this is H2O.
These are little molecules, H-toe molecules.
When the sun gives someone's skin cancer
from 152 million kilometers away, meet the sniper.
Is the sun 152 million kilometers away?
Is that an accurate fact?
- [Sam] 91.4 million miles.
- Oh, 91.4 million miles
is the same as 152 million kilometers.
- [Sam] You know This?
- Yeah, I just did the conversion.
- [Sam] 147?
- Well, you know, I did an average.
- [Sam] So you're wrong? - The sun is a sniper,
but it's also a giver like of life.
Chlorophyll. (laughs)
- [Sam] Wow, I was unprepared.
- Me: What can I do to get healthier, doctor?
Doctor: Use a bicycle and cut the carbs.
Me. (laughs)
Oh, that's good.
When I was 10 years old,
we bought skateboards not for our feet but for our fingers
and we would do cool tricks with our fingers.
And then when we got bored of those,
we got BMX bikes that we, again, rode with our fingers.
(wheels squeaking)
(metal clangs)
When a patient comes in with something in their rectum
and you ask how it got that there.
I don't know that there's an Eiffel Tower.
Also., it's the wrong their on their rectum.
I'm a grammar police person.
Is there's something I missed?
- [Sam] Yeah, you noticed something in the patient's rectum
and you would ask them, how did it get there?
What would they say? - I fell.
- [Sam] And what's the image of?
- Eiffel. Aw.
Her: I only date doctors.
Me. (laughs)
Touche, Dr Pepper.
Why do doctors hit our knees with that hammer?
It's simple, we get a kick out of it.
Punny.
Never stand or sit in front of a patient when you do that.
Especially as a male physician,
it's very easy for them to be like a little bit hyperactive
or nervous and go wham.
Pentagon, hexagon, octagon, patient gone.
That is not true.
You can revive a patient from asystole,
which is also known as flatline.
And you know how you do that?
It's not shocking the patient.
It's chest compressions,
chest compressions, chest compressions,
and perhaps a little epinephrine.
What gives people power?
Money, status, mitochondria.
I love that it's posted in Reddit/technicallythetruth.
Mitochondria really is the energy center of the cell.
Yes, I'm gonna keep saying that. I'm sorry.
When your patient's heartbeat is fire,
so you let the whole squad listen.
Oh, those are dope Beats.
By the way, this is how people studied back in the day.
I just don't know why all these doctors are so elderly
but the young doctors listen to these.
Me, doesn't eat all day.
Me having one sip of wine. (laughs)
If you don't eat, it's really easy to get overly drunk,
like very, very easy.
If you eat a heavy, fat meal before you drink,
it slows the absorption of the alcohol and as a result,
you don't absorb it readily into your blood,
and you have a lower blood alcohol content as a result,
therefore, you don't get as drunk.
When they tell you, "You look just like your mother."
(laughs) The funny thing,
this has been pulled up on my computer for a minute
and I did not even make eye contact with the mother.
And who's this other person hugging the baby
that also looks like a child?
Am I dying?
We're all dying just at different speeds.
But what about me?
You're like the Usain Bolt of dying, LMAO. (laughs)
Oh, that's so mean.
You know what's funny,
part of my medical program at Overlook Family Medicine
when I was a resident was to go
to the Metropolitan Museum of Art
and we would look at paintings
and talk about their medical aspects, their human aspect.
You cannot lose weight on a starvation diet.
I went 30, 40 minutes, nothing.
Interestingly enough, and I'm gonna get medical here.
Don't mind me holding a piece of my camera equipment here.
The reason why starvation diets don't work is one,
they don't last.
Second, fat literally has a mind of its own
and your own body has a mind of its own.
So if you start starving yourself,
your metabolic rate will drop,
therefore you'll burn less calories throughout the day
to try and conserve energy and keep the fat on.
Your fat is smart.
It's gonna try and survive and thrive.
Basic Pokemon Dr. Mike.
I love it that they used this image of all images.
Attack is Peewoop or two attacks is chest compressions.
A human Pokemon commonly found
sporting a snug-fit shirt and a smile.
Can debunk fake medical news
and prescribe potions to sick Pokemon.
This is actually well-made. I dig this.
Why would a fly land on something like this?
Rats should be ashamed for falling for this trap.
Bears, this is ridiculous.
This must be fun. (laughs)
Med school is not a trap.
I think med school's an amazing place to go
if it's right for your soul.
And the only way you know it's right for your soul
is to know yourself.
And I have that tattooed on my body
and I'm gonna constantly say it over and over again.
Before you do anything in this life, know thyself.
No you can't just hijack my cell membrane
and force me to make copies of you.
Ha-ha protein printer go brr. (laughs)
For those of you who don't know,
this is the COVID-19 vaccination mRNA process
where we actually code for the mRNA spike protein
that's found on COVID-19.
We then put it in a lipid-encapsulated membrane,
we shoot it into cell, and then your cell's like,
"Oh, you can hijack me.
I'm just gonna make copies of you."
And then your cells realize,
"Oh no, this is not our own cells.
Let's kill it and create a defense to it."
And now you're protected from COVID-19
without actually getting COVID-19
or being exposed to COVID-19, #science.
Dr. Mike: Don't use Q-tips in your ear.
Me, fights the urge for three hours.
Don't do it.
Oh no.
Ah, there's so much wrong with this picture, man.
Not only do I have salad in my mouth,
there's dressing all over my lips,
my chest hair's sticking out,
the microphone/lapel mic is visible,
I'm wearing that dirty apron.
At least my hair looks decent, ugh.
And then I said (blows raspberry).
I have not progressed from my writing style
since fifth grade.
I'd been getting by on the excuse
that it's doctor's handwriting.
No, folks.
It's bad children's handwriting that I never practiced.
And now with computers and cell phones,
I have an excuse not to.
Appendix, normal appendix, inflamed appendix,
ruptured appendix, a cute appendix.
Aw, this is really good.
I like that.
Aw, I mean, not aw for someone who has a ruptured appendix.
How come after like age 26 your body starts
to make clicking sounds when you stretch?
Is that the warranty expiring?
It's most definitely the warranty expiring.
Although I wouldn't say 26,
I would probably raise it to 28.
I'm 31, I'm definitely starting to feel it.
One of the main reasons I feel it is
because my 16-year-old nephews are starting to get close
to beating me in basketball and that's a problem.
(upbeat music)
What y'all call this?
Mouth chandelier. (chuckles)
Although I'll be worried about those tonsils.
There's some serious crypts in there where stones can form,
also known as tonsil stones.
Karen with her essential oils: I don't fear you.
Coronavirus: Then you will die braver than most.
I talk smack about essential oils
when it comes to making false claims.
But guess what?
I have essential oils all over my apartment.
There's a diffuser that sprays,
or it's a nebulizer, sorry, a nebulizer that nebulizes.
I have those diffusers that you put the little reeds in.
I like essential oils,
which is weird to be at war with them,
but I'm only at war with essential oils
that claim to be healing when they're not really healing.
The coronavirus doesn't care if you smell like lavender.
Me, my online classes tasks, Dr. Mike vlogs.
Yeah! Sorry, Pam.
If you had a good laugh,
check out me reacting to medical scenes from "The Simpsons"
or my 12-year-old nephew roasting me
while we build a LEGO hospital.
Which one are you watching?
As always, stay happy and healthy.
(upbeat music)