hi everyone and welcome back to my channel it's so great to be back if you have noticed i have been a
little bit quiet for the last nine months roughly because i actually welcomed a little baby and took
a bit of time off my work and then as i started back into my business towards the last quarter
of 2021 i had to focus on a few other things on my clients and now i'm so excited to get back
into my regular youtube videos and to share more practical tips with you so welcome to my channel
i'm ann coutman and i'm a leadership and strength coach and i empower emerging leaders to lead with
courage emotional intelligence and their strengths it's all about becoming authentic leaders so we
can be more of who we actually are and bring our best to our work as leaders with our teams
so let's get straight into today's video have you ever been told to fake it until you make it
i'm sure that a lot of you have heard that before and sometimes we say this because we want to help
ourselves to kind of make up for a bit of a lack of confidence or when we step into something new
a new situation something that we've never done before and we're just a bit nervous about it so
we put on a mask we put on our armor as bernie brown would say and then we get ready to step
into the arena and in short like in short term this can actually help right it can help us to
feel a bit more confident can help us to pretend and kind of trick ourselves into being confident
enough to take that first step the thing though and the problem with faking it until we make it or
wearing a mask is that we can't really keep that up because it's really exhausting to pretend to be
something that we're not to laugh about something that's not funny for us to pretend that we fit
in to pretend that we are like anybody else just to fit in or somehow feel like we've got what it
takes and over time it will really wear you down if you have to continue to wear your mask and then
the real problem here lies that the people that you lead they won't really know the real you and
they will see through that mask so they will see over time that you are just putting on a
mask and that you're faking it and that will lead to a lack of trust because they don't really know
who you are they don't really know how you show up what you stand for what they can count on you for
so we want to learn to remove that mask to become more of who we really are to be more authentic
but authentic leadership does not mean that we let it all out that we are you know we show
everything we sure bare souls and we are so vulnerable that we share our intimate details
that's not what authentic leadership is about and there's a few more misconceptions for to be exact
that we will be looking at today and kind of clean up those misconceptions so that you start to see
what authentic leadership is not and we can then learn to step into what authentic leadership is
and if you want to learn more about your authentic leadership style then you can head over to ann
coutman.com authentic leader and do my little quiz to see what's your authentic leadership style and
how you can step into your authentic leadership style and lead and communicate from being more
yourself so head over to ann cuteman.com authentic leader and you will find that quiz it's just a
few questions and then i will share with you some amazing resources for you to step into
your authentic leadership but let's get into this episode and let's look at the first misconception
okay misconception number one is that authentic leaders have to stay in just one leadership style
and this is probably one of the most common things that i hear
and it's simply not true because we all have different facets of our personalities and also
there are so many different situations and circumstances that we find ourselves in in
our leadership role different people that we talk to different situations different environments
different things that happen in our business and they do require you to adapt your style and your
approach to the most appropriate behavior in that situation whilst you remain true to
yourself true to your values and true to who you are and what you stand for as a leader
you can still change your approach what i mean by that is that sometimes you will have to step
into a more authority driven leadership style you have to take command if things are tough you will
have to make the decisions for your team members because if everything is in chaos they need you to
be the stable component and to make the calls and make the tough decisions sometimes sometimes you
want to be more coaching leader and you want to help your team members to step into the solutions
themselves and to really figure out the solutions and how they can go forward by themselves to have
some breakthroughs in their mindset so you have to adapt and be a little bit flexible while staying
true to yourself the second misconception is that authentic leaders have to be bluntly honest at all
times and you know authentic leadership is not an excuse to be rude and to put harm on other
people it's simply not it does not mean you always have to be bluntly honest there are different ways
to go about it there are different circumstances and again you have to adapt your messaging to the
people that you talk to still the importance is to stay true to who you are and to to your values and
lead with your strengths and use your strengths to set up that message in an authentic way
but it's not about just saying it as it is in in forbes article that's called the dark
side of authentic leadership they actually call it out and they say that some leaders
feel so entitled about where they are their position and where they got to that they think
they don't have to do that they can just be who they are they earn their space they don't have to
adapt what they say the problem though there is though that they will harm and hurt other
people along the way they will lose trust along the way people might respect them out of fear
yeah because they don't want to be shouted at or they don't want to be put on the spot or be shamed
but it's not the real trust so people won't decide to follow you to to do whatever you say because
they admire your leadership they will follow you because they're scared and that's not the type of
leader that we want to be we want to be courageous leaders that lead with vulnerability that lead
with trust and that really get the best out of our people and don't scare them into actions there's
a few things to keep in mind when we talk about honesty and authentic leadership one is to look
at when would you act against your own values if you weren't to speak the truth yeah sometimes if
we hold back because we think we can't be honest we're actually hurting our own values and that
will make us suffer in the long run so when do you have to speak up to stay true to your values
and not accept behavior or something that you see that goes absolutely against your values then it's
important to consider when could be a good time to be vulnerable you don't want to share everything
all the time because it's not always the right time and moment to share and be vulnerable
but sometimes sharing your vulnerability sharing your struggles sharing your stories
will help you actually to build connections or to be relatable or to maybe give solutions to the
people that you lead and then there are moments when you just have to consider how much does your
team need to know in this moment do i need to protect them from something is there something
going on that will make them nervous that will make them anxious and then they won't feel safe
anymore to do the work that they need to do because as a leader you also have the role
to protect them so it's quite difficult sometimes to navigate that to understand how much can i say
and how much do i want to keep from them to keep them safe but at the same time i don't want to
hold back information so you just have to work on your message there and really adapt the message
to the people that you talk to and decide how much you tell them and how much you hold back
to protect them so it's about your integrity and it's about what you think is best for them in the
moment not best for you necessarily the third misconception is that authentic leaders have to
be an open book and that's closely related to being honest all the time so while we say that
authentic leaders are vulnerable and they are sharing their stories and they share a little
bit more of who they are with their people to be relatable to build trust and build relationships
you don't have to disclose your whole private life you can be authentic and still have and protect
your personal lives but it's obviously very powerful if you can share personal stories and
anecdotes personal experiences or if you can share a little bit of vulnerability in certain moments
but there's a healthy balance that is important to look at sometimes it's important to keep a little
distance let's say the company the team is going through something really tough and they need you
to be that leader that keeps them safe they need to see hope they need to see stability
so that they still feel safe and can do their best work and don't feel stressed out so sometimes you
have to manage your emotions and self-regulate that by using your emotional intelligence to
maintain a confidence when things are tough so that your team can be at their best
in that moment it might not be best for you to share that you're insecure and unsure yourself
because that would make them feel very unsure and panic if they see their leader losing it too
if you don't need to talk to someone about that because you want to share it with someone find
peers or find a courage or find someone else a mentor that you can talk to about that
because obviously you need to manage your own insecurities and worries as well
but sometimes it's important to keep it a little bit from your team so that they feel
safe also sometimes you know you want to obviously protect your professional brand
so while you're going through a really tough time in your life it might not always be the
best to share that out loud while you haven't worked it through yet while you're still in it
because again it might make people start to doubt you or they might struggle to trust you
in that moment however once you've worked through that situation once you've worked through it and
found your solutions and came out the other end it can be so powerful to share that story
to be relatable to show you that you know that you have managed to get through a tough time and they
can learn from it properly they can start to see and get inspiration from that situation from your
story so it can be really powerful to share your experiences and also how you overcame challenges
for example roughly two years ago the pandemic hit and everybody had to start working from home and
had to juggle personal life family life while working from home it was very relatable it was
very beneficial and relatable for leaders to share their struggles yeah it was very nice and warming
to see leaders sharing their videos or experiences of their toddler running into the office
or their cat walking past the camera yeah so that made us all feel like we're in this together like
they're struggling too it's okay i can feel safe by doing my best being at home navigating maybe
a home where i don't have a home office and there are noisy kids in the background so it can really
really be powerful if you share that so that your team starts to feel safe they can be vulnerable
too and they can really show up as their best and feel safe being the way they are and being in that
environment that they're in so there are moments where it's completely beneficial and magical
actually to be vulnerable and share your struggles as well or say i don't know this i haven't read
this book i don't know the next step let's figure it out together but then there are monuments where
it's important that you do keep that a little bit to yourself to make sure that your team feels safe
so it's always important to understand and be intentional with being honest with being open
with being vulnerable that's the key to powerful authentic leadership it's not about blurting it
all out it's actually about being intentional when am i gonna open up what story am i going
to share and why am i doing this to not just do it for your own sake to protect your team as well
and the fourth misconception about authentic leadership is that authentic leaders have to know
exactly who they are but none of us know who we are it's a journey we always continuously develop
we will not have all the answers straight away but it's important that we are self-aware that we look
on the inside that we start to identify what do i stand for what are my values what motivates me
what is it that i'm here to do what drives me and why am i doing the things that i'm doing
starting to lead with integrity showing up to your values that's what is key
why it's learning from experiences learning from other people learning from the people that we
meet owning up to mistakes and learning from those reflecting on what we can do different we are on
a journey we are on a journey to stay and become the best leaders we can be at any point in time
and at any point in time if you're self-aware self-reflective if you keep your values in mind
if you lead from your values and if you look at what's best for your team for the business
for the role that you have if you lead with a positive intent you're doing the best you can
but being open to only when we made a mistake and to learn from our experiences that is really
the key to powerful authentic leadership so we talked about four misconceptions
about authentic leadership so let's look at the facts fact number one authentic leadership is
not about staying in one leadership style and being quite rigid it's about staying
flexible fact number two authentic leadership is not about being bluntly honest at all times
but it is about crafting your message in the right moment being open and honest about your values
and what you stand for and sharing information that's beneficial for the people that you lead
fact number three authentic leadership is about being vulnerable in the right moments
it's not about being completely open book and sharing your bare soul
it's about sharing anecdotes experiences stories struggles when it is beneficial for
your team and they can learn something from it being intentional about it and fact number four
you don't have to have it all figured out yet you don't need to know who you are yet it's a journey
we all learn to be the best leaders every day and we do a little bit better every day almost 10
years ago bill george a harvard business school professor and some of his colleagues they did
a lot of research into leadership and authentic leadership and what they concluded was a beautiful
message and that message is that we learn to be the best leaders based on our stories our life
stories so we want to think about our authentic leadership as a journey and not the finish line
it's a continuous journey to better understand ourselves and be the best
leaders we can be so now that we have looked at these misconceptions make sure that you subscribe
because in two weeks in the next episode i will share the characteristics of authentic leadership
and the best tips to become an authentic leader yourself right now and in the meantime if you're
a bit curious about your authentic leadership style and your strength in authentic leadership
then go to ann coopman.com authentic leader to take the quiz and start to figure out which of
the authentic leadership styles best fit you and how you can use your strengths to communicate
effectively to build trust and to have impact right now i can't wait to share more insights
on authentic leadership with you in the next episode until then thank you so much