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>> Please.
Pretty please.
>> [whisper] No. >> I'm trying to be nicer.
>> No, no, we're giving them a gift.
You don't say please when you give them a gift.
What are you--"Merry Christmas, please."
>> You're welcome.
Fine, how about that? You're welcome. >> There you go. Thank you, thank you.
>> JASON: So construction's actually starting?
>> Yes, next week, it's freaking amazing.
The only down side is that people keep showing up.
>> Like fans?
>> No. Fans would be too cool to show up unannounced.
I mean like TMZ Cobra, the Fist of the North Star,
Sissy Spacek.
>> The Sharks and the Jets.
♪ [low rhythmic pulse] >> Yes, the Jet Sharks are the worst,
the ones with the sharks with the jet packs,
and they come in, "Weh--we have jet packs,
we're from an alternate future."
>> Blood Angels. >> Yes!
>> The Blood Angels' here.
♪ [dramatic strings] >> BRIAN: The Bloody Angels and the Blood Angels,
two different sects, did you know that?
[exasperated] >> JASON: Both of them?
>> BRIAN: Constantly shooting at me.
>> JASON: I didn't even realize it was different.
>> BRIAN: It's a real problem,
the Five Points of the Hexagon, the Star Trappers.
>> JASON: Josh and Drake.
>> No, real ones, like President Barack Obama,
not the actual president, that's his name.
His name is "President Barack Obama."
>> His name is-- [crashing] [music halts]
I--you were serious.
>> Yeah.
>> There's like--
I thought you were just doing a bit.
I thought it was a joke.
>> We'll get him to the infirmary.
>> Huh.
[sigh]
[deep synthetic rumble]
[electrical pop] [gentle vinyl static]
[rising chime]
All right, so if you want to get an injured person
out of the woods, you're going to need two big sticks.
You want them as straight as possible,
about six feet, unless they're just freakishly tall.
>> Okay, these look like you intentionally
sawed and pruned them.
I'm going to guess that you can't rely on
finding these perfectly, where did you get these?
>> This one I cut myself,
and then I found this one in a pile of others
that were already pre-cut after I had cut this one.
>> Here on the property?
>> Yes.
>> Oh that's fantastic, so this is genuine, okay.
>> Well I did go and saw off
all of the little spurs and everything.
>> Sure, but what you want is something
about the height of a human being.
>> Yeah, the straighter the better, right?
Because these are going to be the handles.
This is the core of our stretcher.
>> This look like, what, like an inch and a half thick
at least, something that's going to bear
whatever load you're going to put on it.
>> Right, we've got three different techniques,
but you're going to want them as straight as possible.
This one is... I think this will be okay.
>> So let's say you don't have anything on you whatsoever.
You don't have any clever equipment,
like you're just out and about and you have to do
a totally, you know, emergency situation, what would you do?
>> You're going to want to take off,
if you have it hopefully, a jacket.
>> I would assume that whatever clothing you have on,
you'd be able to do, do we unzip this or zip it?
>> First, you're going to take the sleeves
and you're going to turn them inside out.
>> Okay so unzipped.
>> And then you zip it up. >> Okay.
>> With the sleeves inside, right?
>> Oh, wild, okay.
[zipping]
♪ [upbeat chillhop]
Yeah, I guess I probably should have
just left it zipped in,
zipped up.
Here we go, sleeves inside.
So the whole thing is inside out?
>> JASON: You're just pulling the sleeves,
you want the sleeves inside the actual--
>> So right-side out, but also,
there we go.
Like a vest, Marty McFly.
>> You made it way hard.
>> No, I just took the long way around, that's fine.
>> [laughs] Okay, you're going to take the sticks.
>> Oh I think I see this!
>> And slide them through the sleeves, right?
>> Okay great, and so in this case we're not going to have
a stretcher that goes all the way down
the length of the body, but we're going to be able to
catch the heavy parts, right?
>> JASON: Right.
♪ ♪
>> Yeah! Okay, okay.
>> Yeah, see?
>> All right, here, and [slurred] then I'll do this one.
♪ ♪
Oh this is great.
>> I'll do this one.
>> Man, this would be a pain in the butt
if you're only one person.
>> Right.
>> Wait, can any of these work with one person?
Or I guess you need a team to even carry it.
>> You are going to have to have a team. Yeah.
[cross-talk] >> I mean, I guess you could--
>> You could have made some kind of travois, is that what it is?
>> Or a litter, is that what it's called?
Like where you drag somebody.
I guess you could do that, but here,
let's lay it down.
>> Dude, this is going to work.
>> Yeah see, and that took us what, a minute. Two minutes?
>> All right here, let's roll him on
to see if we can get it to work.
Do you just roll a body over?
I mean, an injured person. [chuckles]
Probably shouldn't call it a body.
>> Yeah, well I mean.
>> All right here, let's get it close.
>> I don't know what the circumstances
you're imagining are, man, but I'm with it.
I'm not going to say a word.
>> All I know is we're getting him to the infirmary.
Here, pull this real close.
>> JASON: Okay.
>> You grab the legs and we'll go on three.
>> We're just going to toss him?
>> Yeah. Ready? One, two, three.
[groaning]
Okay, all right, there we go. Here.
>> Okay, let's see if we can lift him.
>> To the infirmary!
Yeah!
[laughter]
All right, dump him back out.
There we go, great.
All right, so what if you got a little more to work with?
>> Let's say you've got your tarp,
let's say you're out camping.
>> You're out camping, okay.
>> Yeah, so you've got a camping tarp here.
>> This one seemed to work because these are already tubes,
but a flat plane, I assume there's some kind
of crazy origami to make it like a tube... or?
>> It really didn't seem that complicated.
>> So we get it all the way wide open.
>> It depends on how wide it is.
>> Okay.
>> But this one's pretty big, I didn't--I got a big one.
>> Eh, he won't mind for a moment, there you go.
>> And then we just roll him up in that
and dump him in the creek bed.
>> No, wrong episode, wrong episode. >> Oh, sorry!
[laughter]
>> Oh hold on, I think I'm picking up
where you're going with this.
You lay down the sticks on it and then you fold, fold,
and then his own weight keeps everything...
>> Exactly, you want to fold it into thirds.
>> Give me a stick, we've got too much wind.
>> There you go.
>> All right, there we go, like that.
♪ ♪
Okay.
You can probably do even less than thirds.
>> Yeah this is a particularly big tarp.
>> Yeah no, this is going to be great though.
And in fact, you can even, here, lift up the sticks.
You can even kind of let it dangle.
>> Yup. >> Right?
>> There you go.
>> So now you're holding on to everything,
his weight is going to keep it sealed in there.
>> Yeah, we could do it better and cleaner
and everything, depending on how far you have to carry him.
>> But if you're in an emergency situation,
you're just going to want to go right away anyway.
>> JASON: Exactly.
>> Here, let's just roll him on, ready?
One, two. [grunts]
All right.
♪ ♪
One, two, three, uh oh, wait, I'm stepping on the tarp,
that's a problem.
>> He's breathing, that's good.
>> I'm holding on to it,
but I feel the tarp wanting to move.
I'm going to stick my hands in and grab just the sticks.
>> Okay, yeah I can't even get to them.
>> BRIAN: Oh really? >> Yeah.
>> Are you okay with that?
>> Yeah. I'm good, I got a good grip. >> All right ready? One, two, three.
[gasps] It does!
>> JASON: Right?
>> Now we can get him to the [mutters] imamfirmary.
>> Yeah. See?
>> The imamfirmary.
>> The imamfirmary?
[laughter]
>> This is what we used to do with my toddler,
we used to swing her in a blanket like this.
>> Whee!
>> All right, one more.
This one, I believe if you're camping.
The other one I believe if you have a jacket.
Worst case, I guess you could
probably make it work with your shirts.
>> Yeah, I think if it's not a jacket,
if you're just using your shirt,
then it runs the risk of tearing it or whatever.
>> And now at the risk of being like a walking cliché,
there's one thing that fixes everything.
>> Duct tape.
>> BRIAN: Yeah, all right, so how's this one work?
>> All right, so what we're going to do is
with about six feet here, we're going to make bars
and three Xs.
So bar, X, bar, X, bar, X, bar.
>> Four bars, three Xs.
Of course, this is true of gaff tape and packing tape,
but people think that duct tape will stick to anything.
It sticks like garbage to most things.
It sticks very good to duct tape.
So unless you make a complete loop,
you're not going to see a lot of strength to it.
>> Whenever I try to use tape, as you well know,
it's a disaster.
>> BRIAN: [laughs] You do have a curse.
>> I end up just getting all tangled up
and it cuts the circulation off,
and then we've got to go to the imamfirmary.
>> BRIAN: In this case, I did all the sticky parts
on the inside, but it wants to do that thing
where it's like bunching up wrong.
>> It's not really a problem, it's netting.
We're just making netting, so if it's sticky or whatever,
fine, as long as it's going to support him with this weight.
>> Okay well here, why don't you throw me the other
duct tape and you work from that side in?
>> Okay, of course want to make sure
that you keep it wide enough
that you're going to be able to carry him on it, right?
>> Yeah, mine started wide, but then it started to bunch up
and get a little bit tight.
♪ [calm, uplifting music]
♪ ♪
So for the Xs, we're...
Oh here, I have an idea.
Start that on the far corner.
>> Like right here?
>> BRIAN: Yeah, and then I loop it around here,
and now I'm going to keep on going.
>> Okay. >> Whoops.
Right, so that's one zigzag.
[tape peeling]
And then one more zigzag.
I'm just going to keep going, see what happens, I don't know.
[through laughter] >> This is by far the ugliest one!
>> No. Man, who would have thought
that duct tape was garbage?
One lesson we already learned is
expect the duct tape to contract.
>> And make it wider than you think you need.
>> BRIAN: Here, let's take a look at it.
Ooh, that's some garbage.
>> Yeah that's uh--
[vocalizing apprehension] >> JASON: That's uh, oof.
>> BRIAN: That's a thing.
>> That's uh, that's not how they do it, okay.
>> Sure. >> Let's give it a shot.
>> I mean, look, I think it's safe to say that
in an emergency, you got to move fast, right?
>> Yeah that's true, you can't sit there
and do arts and crafts hour.
>> Man, I hope he doesn't fall off.
>> BRIAN: One, two, [strained] three.
Okay.
[exhale]
>> It works, let's get him to the infirmary.
>> Oh hey wait, wait-wait. We should unmask him
and figure out what faction he's from.
>> That's a good point.
[belabored groaning]
[exhausted] Okay.
[whoosh]
[audience applause] >>> BOTH: Grant Davis of The Beerists‽
>> Mm. guys, I got to say,
we could go to the infirmary,
or...
we could go to the mini bar!
>> Hey-o!
>> Oh, you.
[restrained laughter]
[refreshed aspiration]
>> Nice place you got here.
>> Sorry you got hurt.
>> [glib] Eh, it's cool. [laughter]
>> Brian, how's it going with the website?
>> Dude, it's great.
So we've talked before about how the fact that
Squarespace makes it easy if you're not a web person
to create a beautiful-looking website.
Now we're trying something a little bit more advanced,
but it's a big deal to completely redo a website,
which is why I'm so stoked to find out
there's a whole ecosystem of Squarespace specialists
who are able to re-work your website
with the highest-end designs.
This is the beauty of scaling,
where it's like, yes, you could do it yourself
using one of the award-winning templates,
or you can customize everything,
which you know, you got to find a grown-up
who knows what they're doing, maybe you are a grown-up.
But everything's going along swimmingly!
>> It's super accessible, it's so easy and flexible
that you can just get in there and play around
and make it do really whatever you want,
with little-to-no knowledge of code.
>> Whether it's a blog, portfolio,
any kind of website, sign up for a free trial,
build it, make it beautiful,
then use promo code Rogue at checkout.
You get 10% off your first order,
but most importantly, you keep us in business.
>> When are they going to see our new launch?
>> What are you, a cop?
[murmur]
As soon as we can.
>> Okay, okay.
>> There's a lot of moving parts here,
it's going to be great though.
Thank you Squarespace. [chuckles]
>> Please, Merry Christmas.
>> [laughs] thank you, you're welcome.
>> Happy birthday.
>>> Be excellent to each other.
[laughter]
-- CC BY REV -- ** MODIFIED BY BIZARRE MAGIC **
[noticeably quieter] >> BRIAN: Oh, nowadays, you know what the kids recognize
is the Wii song.
[to the tune of the Wii's Mii theme] ♪ Doot do-do doot ♪
[to the tune of the Wii's Mii theme] ♪ Do doot-doot-doot ♪
>> Oh, just like the opening thing for the Wii? >> Yeah.
♪ Doot do-do doot ♪
♪ Do dooo da-da-doo ♪ >> I always liked the
♪ Doot do-doot doot ♪ Nintendo ambient sound effects,
♪ Do doot do-do doot ♪ and the little click noises when you select things on the Wii.
[resolves] ♪ Doot-doot-doot ♪