Welcome back you legends
I'm here to talk about
Xtreme Sports
With the Tokyo Olympics™ going on it has me thinking a lot
About what is a Mainstream Sport
And what is an Xtreme Sport
Hang gliding
It's death defying
It's adrenaline fueled
Yet it's probably pretty relaxing and safe
As well just hold on to that bar
Okay he is going into bloody hyper speed
This is more than just a lovely day
Looking at the fucken Italian mountains
I never knew hang gliding had evolved
So much
Evolution is a key word
You could go over a big ramp on a bicycle
Or you could do it in a wheelchair
Some say being extreme
Is about taking known shit
To the next unknown level
[Crowd Screaming]: Oh my gosh!!!
[Crowd Screaming]: RARIUAHGUIHGIURHIUHG SHIN!
Fuck yes, Aaron wheels,
Fuck yes mate
Roller skates, they were definitely Xtreme back in the day
I'd argue they still are
If you're a Roller Skater™
You could get bullied by Roller Bladers™
That's the risk you take
FLIPPY SPREADY BAM!
But whatever
Sometimes extremeness is nothing more
Than showcasing something you love doing
Without worrying about what other wankers reckon of ya
You practice
You get good at it
Adjacent Spready™
And you just go for it
That rubs off on people
Your Xtreme sport becomes popular
Before you know it
Everyone wants to be a Hula Hooper
When they grow up
Whammy Mainstream Sport
Activated.
The growth of skateboarding makes it my favourite Xtreme Sport
It's a sport that's considered rebellious
Nah it is
You always get told off
If you're a skater
You're considered a punk
A reject
A reprobate
That's bloody stressful
And therefore an Xtreme way to live
So what if it develops on the streets?
So what?!
"Skateboarding will never go anywhere" Some stuck up dickhead says
Oh yeah except the bloody Olympics™
Sure we all act like we don't care about the Olympics™
But the day Tony Hawk™
Did a Japan Air
In Japan
Was fucken splendiferous
Some acts of extremity won't catch on in my lifetime
Like rafting on a tower of boats
I don't see it
I don't see it happening
At the Brisbane 2032 Olympics™
But who am I to say
This bloke is a pioneer
He's ahead of the times
He has a vision for something amazing
Let's sit back and see where it goes
Okay he's done it!
He's pumped!
I'm glad he hasn't ended up
In Destination F#%Ked
Big Wave Surfing
That makes me nervous
The waves get so big you can't even see the surfer
There's the Jet-Ski guy on the right
Doing the old "See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya"
Awww the surfer's in there somewhere in the middle
Yeah, nah, yeah!
He looks to be alive
The trajectory of surfing as a sport
Is another fascinating one to look into
He's alive
He's alive!
Geez, that white wash on his ass gives me big anxiety
Nah, he's alive though
And he's gonna live to tell the tale
And that's what it's about too
The big reward when it comes to Xtreme Sports
Is living to tell the tale
You push the limits of human capability
And you come out the other side as a fair dinkum legend
Okay I can't tell you if HE'S gonna come out the other side
Because that is a fuck tonne of mist
I'm gonna remain optimistic however
And say
He's accomplished his goals
I reckon he has
Probably
Speaking of goals
Here comes ooonnne
Nah. Overall you take the old or the traditional
And you make it new again
That's not that Xtreme
When you really think about it
Another shot
Nah,
Denied.
hahaha
This goalie is a tank
Technically it's an excavator but you know what I mean
Another shot ThisOneLooksPrettyGoodIReckonThat'sGonnaGoThroooouuuughhh
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
Denied again
It's great to see no one's diving
Or playing for free kicks in this version of soccer.