Mario. The lovable plumber and savior of the Mushroom Kingdom. Or is he?
Tonight on Secret Histories, we reveal the shocking truth about the man behind the moustache
and his ongoing reign of terror.
Here he is as you know him best; the smiling
adventurer, saving the princess, beating the evil Bowser. But all is not as it seems.
Mario is a psychopath. For millennia my
ancestors called this great Kingdom their home. Now I must endure the
relentless humiliation, as the fields my fathers tended for generations are used
to race go karts. As my people are stripped of their dignity and left to
starve in squalor. How many great men do you know who stomp baby turtles?
I did what you said Mario! The Dreamcast sucks, Sega's done!
The Dreamcast was a much better console than people thought Sonic. You don't think I knew about the
Shenmue? You tried to fuck me.
What? No, Mario please!
Goodbye, old friend.
I don't think he ever loved me. He would lash out. He couldn't accept the fact that I'd been
with Bowser. That's why he made me have surgery. I think he wanted me to be
someone else. I'll never be free. He took too much from me for that. I can't even smile any more.
E verything we need he has taken. He has stripped this great Kingdom
to the bone, brought it to its knees and what no one really knows is what will
he do when it's finally destroyed?
But there's still hope for the Mushroom Kingdom.Talk even of revolution.
This is our Kingdom too man, but these assholes keep everything for themselves!
Nintendo's plumber PR Bullshit has made our society into a one-player game but
it's a fascist system that only benefits hi- UH!
The question citizens of Mushroom Kingdom must now ask themselves:
will they tolerate another 30 years, or is it
time to press Start and build a new world?
Weaponry
Jewellery
Ancient Artifacts
This man will buy them all
I can give you... 12 bucks?
Pawn Stop
Every day at 6/7 central on Mashed
Dr. Light: the fluffy, bearded saint of science. Dr. Wily:
vengeful psychopath and evil genius. Once Mega City's most celebrated scientific
partners, now a ruthless robotic rivalry. Join us as Secret Histories sheds new
light on this dark corner of future history, and decodes the complex
algorithm of ambition and revenge.
The year was 20XX, the age of robotic
Renaissance. Limitless technological innovations had introduced robotics into
nearly every facet of daily life, all thanks to the great minds of the famed
scientific duo, Dr. Thomas Light and Dr. Albert Wiley.
Wiley and Light. They were the perfect team, way ahead of their time.
Thomas was driven but Albert? He was a genius. I mean we were all geniuses, but
he was a genius among geniuses! But as I always say, every genius is an idiot.
Greatest scientific mind of our time and what does he do? He starts a family.
Speaking of being an idiot, I gotta go chase around a blue chili dog eating Hedgehog.
Professor Wiley appeared to have it all.
But while he clearly loved his family Wiley's true devotion was to his work.
It really was a tragedy. And so very unexpected. Poor poor Professor Wiley.
Dr. Wiley's son had fallen victim to an unmarked pitfall,
an unfortunately common hazard here in Mega City, leaving him paralyzed and on
the brink of death. The Professor vowed never to leave his son's side again
becoming increasingly obsessed with his son's condition. Filled with grief, his wife
would eventually leave, making poor Professor Wiley very sad.
Soon after, LW technologies was on the verge of
bankruptcy. Without the genius of Dr. Wiley, all Dr. Light could come up with was this:
To keep the company from going dark, Dr. Light was strong-armed into
breaking his peace keeping oath by accepting a top-secret military contract
Robotic suits for the military?! Have you gone mad???
For injured soldiers Albert, returning from war, some hanging on by a thread!
We made a promise.
Yes, a promise to help people! Think of it, paralyzed amputees
given a second chance at life! And it wouldn't have to be just soldiers we help.
Well what are you waiting for? Let's get to work!
Computer, initiate lights out.
Lights out indeed. While all records of the company's activities were
mysteriously erased, Secret Histories believes the following events occurred
after Dr. Wily concluded presenting the prototype.
I give you the mega-suit!
The first true conduit between man and machine
Very impressive doctor. But is it battle ready?
What?!
Of course of course. This one
has already been fitted with an arm cannon.
Thomas? What's the meaning of this?
You drove our company into the ground Albert! And I had to make a decision!
We were supposed to help people! Not turn them into weapons!
Be reasonable damn it!
We need the funding!
And then it was too late.
Is this what you want for my son?!
No Albert, the core is unstable!
Reports of a massive explosion flood in from across Mega City.
Don't worry. Your vital signs are adequate Doctor.
Just how Dr. Wily survived is still unclear.
Albert? Albert!
Facility logs indicate an escape pod was launched.
Reports show one life form aboard the vessel.
Vital signs are critical. Would you like me to
track the escape pod doctor?
What? No, there's no need for that. If he survives
he'll be back. Back for his son after the incident I shut down production of the
Rock!
After the incident, I shut down production of the Mega Suits.
With Rock's memory wiped in the blast, I've had to raise him as my
own. It hasn't been easy, but it's the least I could do for my old friend.
I thought if I could dedicate my life to the growth and development of Mega Man,
I could somehow honor my promise to Albert.
Albert, if you're alive if you're listening,
we are here for you. Me and your son.
My son.
My SON?!
Oh you were always an idiot.
That blue abomination is no son of mine!
No Thomas, my son has been dead for years.
You made sure of that. But I won't stop until he can rest.
Once and for all!