I JUST STARTED PLAYING GUITAR THIS YEAR.
AND-- I JUST-- YOU KNOW I HAD A LOT OF--
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - THANKS--
YOU KNOW A LOT OF TIME TO KILL IN HOTELS.
I'M JUST A BEGINNER, SO I'M NOT VERY GOOD.
BUT I LOVE MUSIC. LIKE SOMETIMES WHEN I'M DRIVING,
I'LL LISTEN TO THE RADIO FOR HOURS.
AND I'LL LISTEN TO CHRISTIAN ROCK BY MISTAKE,
BECAUSE IT ALWAYS STARTS OUT AS LIKE A BON JOVI BALLAD.
- YOU KNOW? - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
IT'LL BE LIKE,
♪ I WOKE UP IN THE MORNING ♪
♪ AND I GOT MYSELF SOME OATMEAL ♪
♪ AND I PUT SOME RAISINS ON IT ♪
♪ AND CHRIST IS GOD ♪
♪ CHRIST IS GOD GOD, GOD, GOD ♪
[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]
AND I'M LIKE, "WHAT ABOUT THE OATMEAL?
I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE OATMEAL SONG."
I LOVE PLAYING GUITAR.
BUT I THINK THERE'S LIKE A DANGER
IN PLAYING GUITAR TOO MUCH.
LIKE THERE'S ALWAYS THAT GUY WHO JUST SHOWS UP AT THE PARTY
AND JUST STARTS PLAYING GUITAR FOR NO REASON
AND YOU'RE LIKE, "COULD YOU NOT DO THAT?"
'CAUSE THAT-- EVERYONE KNOWS HAS MOTIVATION FOR DOING IT.
AND SO I WROTE A SONG THIS YEAR JUST FOR THAT GUY.
[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]
AND IT'S CALLED, "GUITAR GUY AT THE PARTY."
♪ I'M THE GUITAR GUY ♪
♪ AT THE PARTY ♪
♪ I'M THE GUITAR GUY ♪
♪ AND I THINK I'LL DRINK A COKE AND BACARDI ♪
♪ IT MIGHT SEEM LIKE I'M JUST HAVIN' FUN BUT I'M ACTUALLY NOT ♪
♪ I'M TRYIN' TO SLEEP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND ♪
♪ LISTEN TO ME AS I PLAY THIS SONG ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M GONNA PLAY IT REGARDLESS ♪
♪ I'M ONLY PLAYIN' THREE CHORDS SO ♪
♪ I CAN MAKE EYE CONTACT ♪
♪ WITH DIFFERENT WOMEN IN THE ROOM ♪
♪ I'M GONNA TRY AND SLEEP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND ♪
♪ BUT I'M GONNA MAKE IT SOUND LIKE WE HAVE ♪
♪ A REALLY SPECIAL BOND AND WE SHOULD KEEP IT SECRET ♪
[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]
Narrating: "YOU KNOW I THINK YOUR BOYFRIEND
"REALLY TAKES YOU FOR GRANTED.
"WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME HE TOLD YOU THAT YOUR EYES LOOK LIKE SPACE CRYSTALS?
"IF YOU WANNA COME BY MY PLACE LATER THAT WOULD BE COOL.
"IT'S NOT GONNA BE LIKE LAST TIME.
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHY THAT FREAKED YOU OUT."
♪ MAYBE IF I PLAY 'FREEFALLING' ♪
♪ THEN SOMEONE WILL GIVE ME A [BLEEP] JOB ♪
♪ MAYBE THEY'LL JUST SIT ON MY LAP ♪
♪ AND THE FRICTION WILL CAUSE ME TO HAVE AN ERECTION ♪
♪ AN ERECTION I WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU WON'T FEEL ♪
♪ BECAUSE I'M CLASSY ♪
♪ AND I'M GONNA SHIFT IT TO THE LEFT ♪
♪ AND I'M GONNA SHIFT IT TO THE RIGHT ♪
♪ I'M GONNA CREATE A MENTAL IMAGE IN MY HEAD ♪
♪ LIKE GUYS IN PRISON TAKING A GROUP SHOWER ♪
♪ HERE'S MY STORY I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT I TELL IT ♪
♪ IN THE PROPER ORDER ♪
♪ I WENT TO ARTS CAMP AS A KID AND I PLAYED THE RECORDER ♪
♪ THEN I LEARNED THAT RECORDERS ARE FOR LOSERS AND GUITARS GET CHICKS AND ♪
♪ NOW WHEN I FEEL LIKE A LOSER I TAKE THIS OUT AND SING ♪
♪ "ONE WORLD" BY OASIS ♪
♪ I PLAY MOSTLY COVERS CAT STEVENS AND BEATLES AND A COUPLE OF OTHERS ♪
♪ I DO SOME ORIGINAL SONGS TOO, ♪
♪ BUT THEY'RE NOT AS WELL RECEIVED ♪
♪ CHRIST IS GOD CHRIST IS GOD ♪
[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]
♪ BUT I STILL WANT THAT [BLEEP] JOB, ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M A GUITAR GUY I'M THE GUITAR GUY ♪
♪ I'M THE GUITAR GUY I'M THE GUITAR GUY ♪♪
[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]