>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY, GIVE IT UP FOR JON
BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: I'M SO EXCITED, I'M ALWAYS GREAT GRATE, I'M
GRATEFUL FOR EVERYBODY, ESPECIALLY THE BIG STARS THAT
STOP BY TO SEE OUR DOG AND PONY SHOW BUT TONIGHT I'M EXCITED
ABOUT AMERICA'S BRITISH SWEETHEART EMILY BLUNT IS HERE,
AND AMERICA'S AMERICAN SWEETHEART BOB COSTAS IS HERE.
>> Jon: WHOOO.
>> Stephen: WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT HIS NEW SHOW AND TALK
ABOUT THE OLYMPICS.
OH YEAH, BECAUSE HE HOSTED OLYMPICS FOREVER, FOREVER.
TURNS OUT, NOW THAT HE DOESN'T WORK FOR NBC ANY MORE, HE CAN
CONFESS THAT HE HATES IT.
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT IS TRUE.
I DON'T ACTUALLY, I MILE BE PUTTING WORDS-- WE'LL FIND OUT,
STICK AROUND, WE'LL FIND OUT WHETHER I AM LYING.
FOLKS, THE RAGING DELTA VARIANT ISN'T THE ONLY SUMMER BUMMER OUT
THERE.
JULY HAS FEATURED A WHOLE HOST OF WEIRD AND TERRIFYING WEATHER
EVENTS.
WE'RE SEEING ICE QUAKES, FIRE TORNADOES, AND HEAT DOMES.
HEAT DOMES, OF COURSE, NAMED FOR THE STRUCTURES WE'LL ALL BE
FIGHTING IN FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF TINA TURNER.
REMEMBER WHEN SCIENTISTS WERE TELLING US THAT ALL THE CARBON
WE WERE PUTTING INTO THE ATMOSPHERE WOULD COME BACK TO
HAUNT US EVENTUALLY?
WELL, IT IS WEDNESDAY, JULY THE EVENTUALLY-TH.
YESTERDAY, THE "NEW YORK TIMES" REPORTED THAT IN THE 21st
CENTURY, "SUMMERS IN BOSTON HAVE COME TO RESEMBLE 20th-CENTURY
SUMMERS IN NEW YORK.
NEW YORK, WHICH HAS COME TO RESEMBLE PHILADELPHIA, WHICH IN
TURN HAS BECOME HOTTER THAN WASHINGTON, D.C., OR ATLANTA,
AND SUMMERS IN WASHINGTON AND ATLANTA ARE HOTTER THAN SUMMERS
IN TAMPA."
TAMPA, OF COURSE, REMAINS THE WORST POSSIBLE VERSION OF
ITSELF.
THE CHICKENS HAVE COME HOME TO ROOST, AND THEY ARE DEEP FRIED.
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IN THE SEGMENT WE ALL SAW COMING
BUT DID NOTHING TO STOP: >> "CLIMATE: CHANGED."
>> YOU SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO AL GORE, YA DUMMIES!
HE'S A CLIMATE ZADDY!
MOMMA LIKE!
>> Stephen: FIRST UP, THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS GOT ANOTHER
REASON NOT TO, BECAUSE THE SUN IS GLOWING RED IN NEW YORK.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: "RED SKIES AT NIGHT,
SAILOR'S DELIGHT.
RED SUN IN THE SKY, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"
SO WHY IS THE SUN GOD ANGRY AT US?
WELL, AS WE SPEAK, 78 WILDFIRES ARE RAGING IN THE WESTERN
STATES.
IT'S AN APOCALYPTIC VISION OF THE FUTURE PREDICTED BY THE BOOK
OF REVELATION, NOSTRADAMUS, AND THE OPENING CREDITS OF
"BONANZA."
GOOD NEWS-- IF YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO GET THAT JOKE, YOU PROBABLY
DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE.
YOU GET IT, I GLET IT.
-- GET IT.
TURNS OUT, THE RED SUN IS BECAUSE LIGHT IN THE ATMOSPHERE
IS BEING SCATTERED WILLY-NILLY AFTER SMOKE FROM THOSE BLAZES
BURNING IN THE WESTERN UNITED STATES MADE ITS WAY ACROSS THE
CONTINENT.
THAT'S NOT FAIR.
THEY MAKE WEED LEGAL OUT WEST, AND NOW THEY'RE HOT BOXING THE
REST OF US.
IT'S NOT JUST NEW YORK.
YESTERDAY, THERE WAS A THICK BLANKET OF WILDFIRE HAZE AROUND
THE GREAT LAKES.
FOR MORE ON THIS PHENOMENON, WE TURN TO "LATE SHOW" CLIMATE
SCIENTISTS, DEEP PURPLE.
WHAT'S THE SCIENTIFIC NAME FOR THIS HAZE?
>> SMOKE ON THE WATER >> Stephen: THANK YOU, IAN.
A LOT OF THIS SMOKE IS BEING GENERATED BY THE BOOTLEG FIRE,
WHICH IS THE LARGEST WILDFIRE SO FAR THIS YEAR IN THE UNITED
STATES.
IT'S SO HUGE THAT IT'S GENERATING ITS OWN WEATHER.
THAT SOUNDS FRIGHTENING, BUT THE FOREST SERVICE IS TRYING TO KEEP
THE PUBLIC CALM WITH THIS NEW P.S.A.:
>> ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT-- WHAT?
IT GENERATES ITS OWN WEATHER?
SCREW IT.
I'M SWITCHING SIDES.
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY FLAME GOD!
I WILL NOW DO YOU BIDDING!
HA-HA-HA!
I JUST STARTED THE FIRE!
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO."
>> Stephen: I'M WORRIED ABOUT-- I'M WORRIED ABOUT
SMOLDERS THE BEAR, NOT SMOKEY.
>> Stephen: THE BOOTLEG FIRE CHANGES THE WEATHER BECAUSE IT
HAS CREATED SOMETHING CALLED A PYROCUMULUS CLOUD, ALSO KNOWN AS
"CLOUD OF FIRE."
ALSO KNOWN AS...
>> A FIRE IN THE SKY >> Stephen: THESE FIRES WERE
CAUSED BY A DROUGHT, BUT SOME PLACES HAVE TOO MUCH WATER, LIKE
THE CENTRAL CHINESE CITY OF JUNG-JOE, WHERE FROM SATURDAY TO
TUESDAY, 24.3 INCHES OF RAIN FELL, CAUSING MASSIVE FLOODING,
WITH CARS FLOATING DOWNTOWN, AND ONE GUY EVEN SHOT PHONE FOOTAGE
OF FISH SWIMMING IN THE STREET.
IT'S ALL IN THE NEW PIXAR MOVIE, "FINDING NEMO ON THE SIDEWALK.
MY GOD, WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!" WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH EMILY
BLUNT.