﻿Why Don't I Get The Respect I Deserve? [0:00:00]
So, what is the secret to getting people to treat you like a man? Gents, find out
in today’s video. [Music]
So, I got a question the other day, it goes like this, “Antonio, I’m 35, married for six years, but
people still treat me like a teenage boy. How can I get people to treat me like a man, not a boy?”
Now, anonymous, I’m going to be straight with you because I know that you want to hear the
truth. The reason people aren’t treating you like a man is you probably have yet to become one.
I know, you’re like, “I’m 35 years old.” Legally, you’re an adult,
but that doesn’t mean that you are a mature man, who is taking responsibility for himself.
And what do I mean by this? Let me explain. You see, becoming a man is a lot more than just being
born with and XY chromosome. No, to become a man is to understand what it means to be a man
and then working striving to become that person. And to make this simple, I’m going to cite the
seven virtues that my friends, Brett and Kate McKay, have written about in this book here,
Manvotionals, about what it means to become a man. The seven virtues that
you need to work on. Those seven virtues are manliness, courage, industry, resolution,
self-reliance, discipline, and honor. So, let’s start off with that word,
manliness. What does this mean? A lot of people they hear it, they scoff, they laugh they say,
“That has no place in today’s society.” Well, the problem with this is this is a
misunderstanding of the word. Manliness, a lot of people think it’s the opposite of being a woman.
That is not true. The opposite of manliness is being childlike. It’s not about men versus women.
This is about you growing and about you as an individual.
When you think of a child, the child is selfish, a child can’t think for others, a child doesn’t
plan for the future, a child doesn’t put in the work. A man on the other hand, he builds
the strength and the wisdom to understand that he needs to do this, that he will put others in front
of himself. That he will go out there and he’ll do work for something maybe unforeseen with a promise
knowing that he’s investing in the future. There’s nothing wrong with accepting who you
are and working and striving every day to become that man you know yourself to be.
The next manly virtue is courage. And, we think of courage, most of us think of a single event,
something that, yeah, really sets somebody apart. You run into a burning building and
you save a child. In combat, you’re getting shot at and you go off and you save your friends.
Yeah, that’s cool and that’s definitely a sign of courage, but that’s very rare. Most of us will go
through life and never face a situation like that. But, we do have situations every single day that
are small that are minor, but require courage. And you got to ask yourself are you stepping up
when you see a friend or a colleague that’s being treated – mistreated by the boss and
you don’t say anything because you don’t want to put your job in jeopardy. But,
you realized this person who has nothing to give you are – why aren’t you standing up for them?
Or look around, I mean, there are so many examples I see. Somebody over on the side of the road,
somebody that needs help or assistance and, yes, it’s going to inconvenience
you to have the courage to do what’s right. When you disagree with what’s being said
and everyone’s laughing and obviously it seems like you’re the odd man out.
Do you have the courage to voice your concerns? You’ve got to practice being courageous.
It’s not one day you wake up and you’re heroic. Every single day, you’ve got to practice doing
those small heroic acts, because then when the big moments pop up and they don’t always pop up
in their lives, but when they do, you will then have the courage to do what’s right because you
know that is what you have always done. And it doesn’t feel courageous,
it just feels that you are doing what needs to be done what a man would do.
The next virtue is industry. And this is you providing value to the world. So,
one thing I learned pretty young is that there are two types of problems. There are money problems
and there are relationship problems. And if you can take care of the money problems,
then life is a lot easier because, yeah, you’re still going to have lots of issues
with relationships, but you don’t have to worry about putting food on the table, you don’t have
to worry about rent, you don’t have to worry about how am I going to pay for this, how am I going to
be able to get the repairs done on my vehicle. I know a lot of you guys are still working on that
money side. I’m still working on that money side, but I’m getting closer to financial independence.
And I highly recommend that you change your relationship with money.
For me, it’s a game. It’s enjoyable, it is something – that’s why I always have no problem
promoting my companies such as Vitaman. I’ve talked about the story. So, Claire,
the founder, she talked to me about a year and a half ago. She had this great business,
been in business for 20 years serving men making the best grooming products out there.
I’m like,”You know what? I’ve got this platform. I’m already talking to guys. We need to partner
up.” I took an ownership stake and we are putting out I think the best grooming products on the
planet made over in Australia with natural and organic ingredients. Very stringent actually
in the manufacturing process, much more stringent than stuff made in the United States.
And down in the description of today’s video, I’m going to have the best deal you’ll ever
find on the web down there in that description, so use it or lose it. But, this aftershave balm
uses aloe vera just blew me away because I’ve seen so many different grooming products.
[0:05:03] The body moisturizers, this is, again, one
of my favorite parts because here in Wisconsin, we have really dry air and my skin dries out. So,
I put this on before going to bed, I sleep better at night because of this body moisturizer. And,
because I can tell you guys that, I have no problem telling more people about this.
Point being, love what you do and when you love it, you never really work another day in your
life, you’re just simply spreading the word, you’re passing this information. And, yeah,
industry. I love it. So, and check out that link. I’ll link to Vitaman down in the description.
The next virtue is resolution. When I think of this, I think of commitment, I think of having
the resolve to see things through to the end. So many people they’ve told me, “You know what? Yeah,
I tried it. And I tried it a million times.” I’m like, “Really? Did you try a million times?”
No, they didn’t try a million times. Did you try a thousand times? No, I didn’t try a
thousand times. Did you try a hundred times? No. They tried once. And if that actually
sometimes they didn’t even try that many times. Here’s the thing is if you really want to achieve
anything in this life, you’ve got to go for it. You’ve got to be a bulldog. You got to bite right
into it and not let go. Commitment resolution. I see so many people think that things are
going to fall into their lap. They think that if you work hard for a few days that somehow
you are entitled to something. When you’re an entrepreneur, when you’re a business owner or when
you’re going after your dream job, understand that you’re going to throw quite a bit out there.
How many applications have you put out for your dream job recently? Zero? Well,
that’s probably why you haven’t landed it. Ten? In the last what? Ten – ten days? Ten months? Go out
there and start putting out a lot more. Get some laser shot ones, I mean, create some videos and
tell people how you’re going to transform their business why they need to hire you. Start getting
to know the people that are hiring over at Google over at Facebook over at that grooming company
that clothing company you want to work for. When you resolve to do something, you’re not
going to – you see obstacles out there, but you realized they’re there for other people,
not for you. You are going to find a way, you’re going to go over that wall,
under that wall, through that wall, around that wall, but that wall will not stop you.
Next up, let’s talk self-reliance. And it always cracks me up when I put out a video about how
to sew on a button or how to iron your clothing and people like, “Oh, that’s a woman’s job.” No,
it’s not. It’s just it’s a job that needs to get done. And I want men to be self-reliant.
And take the time and, yes, it’s great that we could outsource a lot of things and that you
can bring people in to help you with specialty work. But, what, yeah, how about maybe you set
a weekend aside, maybe set just a morning for a couple of hours and you work on fixing that oven
that’s been getting – I know this was my issue. Just quick story. So, my wife was pointing out
that the oven was, you know, it would turn off and it wouldn’t stay heated and come to find
out it was just one small part. I went and I did a diagnostics, not with anything fancy, just simply
watching a video on YouTube and then looking at various parts I would have to
replace. I was able to go through and troubleshoot and for $5, I simply put a
new thermometer in there and problem was solved. It is something so small, but when you go and do
this, you feel accomplished. You feel like, wow, if I can do that, what else can I do?
The next virtue on this list, discipline. A lot of people think I’m a disciplined person
because I was in the United States Marine Corps. No, I am not. I am a pretty lazy guy.
But, when you put yourself into a system like that, you get in better shape because you have
to PT exercise every single day. You put yourself in that system,
you can’t help, but improve yourself. And that’s what I learned from the Marine Corps
is that it’s all about your habits, it’s all about the system that you create.
And now, for my business, what do I have success? Because I’ve systemized success in my business.
With my body, I try to take care of my body. I go to a chiropractor every single week
because I’ve systemized the stretching and she holds me accountable to doing what I needed to
do to take care of my body as it ages. My personal trainer, he makes sure I go
to the gym. He also looks at the way I lift and he ensures I’m not going to hurt myself. You’ve
got to have those systems there because that’s what real discipline is built on, systems.
And then, underneath the systems, you’ve got the habits. And underneath those habits,
you’re got a plan that you’ve built out and that you’ve executed on.
Now, this next virtue, honor, I think is another one that’s misunderstood.
When people think honor, a lot of them think reputation. Like, my honor is on the line.
That is one way of looking at it. But, when I look at honor, I look at
who are you on the inside? What – I mean, this is your integrity. Are you a man of your word? I love
what Rob Roy said. If you’ve never seen the movie, great movie, but he talks about honor is a gift
a man gives himself. And, I love that because
this is really how you view yourself and are you the man that you know yourself to be? Are
you living up to your ideals? Are you doing what’s right even when nobody is looking?
And this is tough because it’s easy to cheat. In fact, they’ve said
that 90% of men would cheat on their spouse if they thought that nobody would ever find out.
[0:10:06] So, are you going to be that 90%?
Are you going or are you going to be a man of honor? And are you going to fulfill your
promise? And that’s why honor for me is one of the most powerful ones. In fact, over here on
this challenge coin, it was one of the core values of the United States Marine Corps; honor, courage,
and commitment, hence why I made this coin made. And here’s the beautiful thing about honor.
You can work on it every day and every day you have an opportunity to be an honorable
man. Just because you weren’t honorable yesterday doesn’t mean you can’t be honorable in this moment
and you can’t be honorable in this day. And, by the way, gents, I’m giving away
some of these coins as well, so let me know down in the comments what does honor
mean to you? Specifically, how are you going to become a more honorable man? Let me know
down there below. I love hearing from you guys. So, what video to watch next? How about you peek
inside my combat journal? I’ve got this video right here, where I talk about the lessons I
learned journaling for 20 years. And I go through and I read some of the stuff that
I wrote in this journal. Some pretty cool stuff, some very interesting points in this video.
It didn’t get a whole lot of traffic. I think it’s actually a great video. So, go check it out,
guys. I will link to it down in the description. [0:11:13] End of audio