[Life In Flim - Get Closer]
Steve: Yeah, I remember what happened last time.
Steve: Stop! Stop! Stop even joking about it! Stop even joking about it!
Steve (VO): Cib was over at my house for one reason and one reason only:
Today we needed to go to the junkyard and get Cib a new part for his car.
Steve: Thanks.
Steve (VO): And by "treasure", I mean "a new transmission for Cib's car".
Ever since he ran into my bike, changing gears has been an absolute nightmare for him.
Steve: So, as it turns out, it's a lot harder to get into a junkyard with a camera than you'd really think.
But we're gonna search around this area and see if there's some place that we can get in.
And find Cib a transmission.
Steve (VO): As it turns out, junkyard dogs are even scarier than they're depicted in cartoons.
But we worked past our fears to find Cib a new transmission.
However, we found something we weren't expecting.
Cib: Careful, dude. Careful, there's junkyard rats! Watch for the junk-
Cib: Steve!
Cib: What dude?
Steve: Ow!
Fuck, that scratched me!
Cib: Yo, y-
Steve: But cool though!
Steve (VO): Nobody could have guessed we'd find a junkyard cake.
Steve (VO): Nobody.
Cib: How is it?
Steve: Oh my God.
Cib: That's the best junkyard cake I've ever had!
Steve: This is so good!
Cib: Yeah, how's that arm, though?
Steve: Honestly, it hurts a little bit.
Steve (VO): Walking around, Cib informed me of Junkyard Tetanus.
Silly me, my inquisitive brain had to ask "what's the difference between that and regular Tetanus?"
Cib: It's just... like lo-
a lot worse, a lot more serious.
It kicks in faster and you grow a third nickle.
Steve (VO): Quickly, I disregarded Cib's diagnosis
because I thought I found something amazing.
But, as it turns out...
Steve: It's dog shit.
Cib: Junkyard sandwich!
*Steve gags*
Cib: Right?!
Cib: Careful, they're a little out of season, so there might be a little glass in there...
Steve: There's a little glass in it!
Steve (VO): I was starting to feel like Junkyard Tetanus was real.
I asked Cib for the symptoms.
Steve: What're the-
What're the symptoms of Junkyard Tetanus?
Cib: Uh... woozy-
Steve (VO): Oh, my God, no!
Steve: No, no-
Cib: We gotta keep finding it, dude!
We gotta keep finding my thing, man!
Cib: Pump it up! Pump it up, dude!
Steve (VO): Trying to escape from the sun, we hopped inside of an old Hawn-duh.
*Cib groaning*
Cib: Oh... God!
Steve (VO): With a few tricks of the trade from Cib's delinquent past,
we managed to get the Honda started.
Cib: Nice!
*Both Steve and Cib break out in laughter*
*Cib spitting incessantly*
Cib: Junkyard cookies are not so good...
Steve and Cib: Sandwich Cremes!
Cib: What're those from, like, the eighties, dude?!
Steve (VO): There was still no sign of a transmission.
We hopped up on the top of the car to see if we could get a better view.
Steve: I thought we would get a better- a better view up here, but...
Oh, wait!
What're those?
Cib: There they are, dude!
Steve: Really? That's it?
Cib: Well, it's gotta be in one of them.
Snake engines, looks like...
Steve: What's a snake engine?
Cib: Slug engine, sorry. My bad.
Steve: Aw, dude, you got water on your Yeezys, man!
Cib: Nah, that's alright.
Steve (VO): Junkyard Tetanus and heatstroke made it very difficult for me to pop out of my little coma.
Cib: Steve?
Steve (VO): I vaguely remember Cib leaving,
saying something about... wishterchire sauce?
Or maybe it was a wishing star?
Or a wishing well...
Or wishing me a happy birthday.
Or power-washing boys he was afraid of.
But after paying the junkyard owner a hundred dollars,
he was tired of us being there and made us leave.
However, on the way out, we managed to find a transmission.
Cib: Yo, dude, this is it!
Yo, training fluid.
Steve: Uuugh-
Cib: That's it, too!
There are only, like, four hundred, sooo...
Steve: How much money do you have on you right now? Cause I don't really wanna buy something-
Cib: I think I've got enough...
I don't really-
I don't really NEED it.
Steve (VO): With only thirty dollars in his bank account,
I don't know how he expected to buy a transmission in the first place.
[How I Beat Shaq - Aaron Carter]
First introduced to me by Brett Hundley, AKA "Hundar" of CowChop,
Diablo Taco is my absolute favorite taco place in all of LA.
My drink of choice is a cherry cider topped with a jalapeno popsicle.
You heard that right.
I was excited to see Cib's reaction to it.
I was also excited to see Cib's reaction to the Habanero Gasoline Sauce,
which is actually a much hotter sauce than their other option,
Ghost Napalm.
I don't get it either.
Cib: Not so bad.
*Cib coughing his lungs out.*
Cib: No...
Why do I do anything with you, ever, dude?
Steve (VO): After a quesadilla, some fried chicken tacos, some enchiladas, some tempura fried cauliflower tacos, and a brussel sprouts taco,
it was time to hit up the beach for a special gentleman's challenge.
[Cheers Elephant - Airliner]
It wasn't easy beating Cib at the gentleman's challenge, but nothing in life is easy.
Especially when you have Junkyard Tetanus.
The left side of my jaw has locked up.
It's tough for me to speak now.
*Steve imitates a beached whale in extreme pain.*
I'm hoping that, with time, I'll get used to it.
But part of me is afraid that I... I may never recover.
VO: Oh, no, dude!