B
-We're back with Kenan Thompson.
Now, this is not the only book you've written this year.
You also have done some writing under a pen name.
-Yes, I have a pen name that I like to write under.
-You've been doing some science fiction work?
-That's right, I introduced it here for the first time,
the actual fact that I am the one and only Pernice.
So, yeah, if I could, um...
-Do you want to... Would it be helpful?
I would love to talk to Pernice. And would you want to leave?
-He's been writing more and more and more.
And there's a new book that he wrote
that he would like to present.
-Alright. So, well, why don't you leave, Kenan,
and then we'll bring out Pernice Lafonk.
-Yeah, I'm gonna, 'cause we're two different people.
-Of course. -Know what I mean?
So I'm gonna go. and then Pernice will appear.
So that'll be that. Yeah, yeah.
-And I want to make it clear --
your team, as you call them,
has made it very clear to me when you're out,
I should only refer to you as Pernice.
-It would be nice. Yes, it would be nice.
Yeah. Thank you very much.
-Okay. So why don't you go and I'll give...
-I'll go now. -Okay, great.
-I'll go now. Alright. Just coming back.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Our next guest is a gifted science fiction writer
who you know from his bestseller "Quinsley's Nebula,"
part of his wildly popular Quark series.
Here to talk about his highly anticipated follow-up,
please welcome back to the show Pernice Lafonk.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Pernice, what an honor to have you back,
back on the show.
-It is a pleasure to see you as well, Seth Meyers.
-Now, Pernice, I hear -- you know, I have connections,
contacts in the literary sphere --
that you're dabbling in a new genre called space erotica.
-Yes. -Would you -- would you do us
an honor of reading an excerpt from your latest?
And what is this one? I'll hand you a copy here.
What is this one called? -Uh, this is my latest work,
called "Amazon Boobies on the Moon."
-Uh-huh. Right.
-You like that title, Sethly?
-I do, I do. I enjoy that title a great deal.
-Have I dipped my ink slightly into erotica with this one?
Perhaps just the tip.
Uh, but you tell me, Seth. Here we go.
-Oh, this is the reading.
"Amazon Boobies on the Moon" by Pernice Lafonk.
-We'll start with chapter eight, naturally.
Chapter eight, beta three.
"Tokyo. Tokyo.
Tune in, Tokyo.
Tokyo. Toronto.
Tunisia.
Nada. Radio silence.
The sounds of nothingness echoed through
his not-so-trusty spacecraft,
the Perineum Falcon.
'Drab nabbit!' Lieutenant Val Deferens bellowed.
'The comms seem to be malfunctioning again.'
And then a series of gasps. Hup, hup!
Taking shallow breaths, he became panic stricken
as he watched his oxygen levels drop.
Drop slowly, sensually,
like a loose spaghetti-strap brassiere
at the end of a tough day at the office."
Oh, this is good. This is good stuff.
[ Laughter ]
"Val's mind raced with thoughts of Bernadette
and immediate regret.
If only he hadn't squandered the last of his lunar credits
on the latest issue of 'Pernthouse.'
And what had become of the promise
that ne'er 'twould he find himself
in such a treacherous pickle.
Penniless, surrounded by alien dangerosity.
Nevertheless, it can get rather lonely
in the deep, dark depths of the universe.
With one final 'ga-gonk,'
Lieutenant Val Deferens spanked the control 'pernel'
with all of his might."
-Pernel? -Pernel. Yes.
-"All of a sudden -- ka-toosh!
Ba-bussy!"
[ Laughter ]
"The Perineum Falcon's engines roared back to life
with an electrical emission
that registered a double-D on the dashboard."
-Wow. I mean...
[ Cheers and applause ]
-It's good. -Really.
There you are. That proves you wrote it.
It proves you wrote it. I mean, that...
-My proof.
-Not only does that tick
every box I need for good science fiction,
that's also everything I want out of my erotica.
-Well, thank you very much.
Thank you very much. -I could tell...
I hope you don't mind me saying,
I feel as though you were also
maybe a little turned on by your own writing.
-Oh, I keep a constant erection as I'm --
as I'm -- as I'm sitting at my typewriter.
It's a must be the sound of the clicks.
-You have one of those standing desks?
-I stand at the desk and I am just full out there,
and just ready at any moment.
-Yeah. -Ready at any moment.
-You know, one of the telltale signs
of arousal, as well, is when someone's a sideburns flip out.
-Yeah, that's a thing.
When you're really, really excited,
your sideburns tend to flare. -Yeah.
-And that's what's happening now, as you can see.
-Well, Publishers Weekly said about this book --
"It's a real sideburn flarer." -Yep. That's right.
I think that's on the back, actually.
Publishers -- Yeah. "Sideburn flarer."
-Oh, my God. Well, Pernice... -Thank you.
-We do -- would love you to promise
to keep coming back and sharing your new writing with us.
-I shall, I shall. I wonder where the next one will be.
Maybe in the desert. -Ooh!
-What would that be called? -Well, I love
watching your mind work in real time.
-Right? Maybe the desert.
We'll write about the desert, and scorpions.
Yes. Scorpions, the sting.
Ah, I love it.
-Oh, my God, you guys. That's Pernice Lafonk.
A.k.a. Kenan Thompson.
"SNL" returns this week --
Dakota Johnson, Justin Timberlake.
We'll be right back with Ronny Chieng.