Matt: I'm not really proud to admit it but I've tried pretty much every pickup
technique known it's a man.. and yes, some of them are really great. It could really
help you improve yourself. However, a lot of them are really gimmicky or flat-out
just don't work or even make your game and your entire life for that matter
worse than when you even started. Because even if you don't use all the
weird stuff that's out there and you actually do get results from some of the
pickup tactics, oftentimes you feel like it's not really you. It's just this PUA
version of yourself that women are really getting to know. Not the REAL you.
in fact, I actually met a self-proclaimed pick-up coach who became suicidal
because of all of the game tactics that he learned, which I'm gonna talk about in
just a second and I'm sure since you're watching this video that you've learned
some pick up techniques that have actually helped you develop yourself
because of a deeper quality that the technique drew out of you and likewise
some techniques that were quite damaging.
We're at a port here in Miami just finished a three-day boot camp we had
seven new guys who absolutely crushed it I'm so proud of you guys and we had four
or five - your trainers guys that go on multiple boot camps with us and help out
and they were helping out this weekend and come to it these guys are just
killing it in their life in their dating lives it's like they have reverse
approach anxiety they see a beautiful woman and they have to go they get
anxiety if I tell them they can't go I'm like wait wait just wait a second and
then you can go no I gotta go I want to go talk to her and that's that's a good
feeling and a good problem to have it's not really a problem but it can happen
for you to just becomes habit the problem with most pickup advise out
there is they tell you to say this they give you lines and routines and most of
those routines are other people's experiences stories that worked for them
because it was theirs and it was interesting so it got a
reaction and then they write about it and say hey you know this works say this
and when I did that I felt really authentic because I was literally lying
to women and using somebody else's stories I remember going up to girls in
a bar in Newport Beach California and saying hey I just got back from China
and the crazy thing happened bla bla bla and that was before I actually went to
China I never had never been there I'm just saying something that I read and
you know was designed to get a reaction it's a problem with it was it did get a
reaction it was interesting so I thought it worked and so I just kept learning
more and more and more I thought that was the solution I just need better
routines I need more routines and what happened
is I got really up in my head at one point I had so much information was like
information overload like a file cabinet with so much information I couldn't
access the right file at the right time and so I would get nervous and be like
you know trying to think think think and all the energy was in my head instead of
being right there press grounded in the moment with my energy in
my body feeling my body because that is the way you connect with women you
cannot connect with women if you're thinking about what to say next and
you're over analyzing the situation or you're trying to get the right file out
of your file cabinet and you know get the right line and say the perfect thing
and the thing is it doesn't even matter if you say the perfect thing I watch my
videos my interactions with women I'm like I could have said something way
better than that you know I'll come up with something
great afterwards but it doesn't matter because when you're in the present
moment she can feel that she can feel that you're right there with her
connecting with her and that's what matters the most one of the problems I
see is that a lot of guys become a pickup artist they think it's something
they have to like turn on or off they go to the club and now it's like pickup
mode now they talk to beautiful women instead of it just being rooted in who
they are and their identity when you're grounded and comfortable really just in
your masculine identity talking to women just becomes natural it's just who you
are you don't turn it on and off you don't have to see it as like oh now I'm
doing pickup no it's just your guy who talks to girls and taking that one step
further a lot of guys get their validation from sleeping with women and
pickup books don't necessarily tell you to do that but that often becomes the
outcome as you're learning those kind of techniques because it's like techniques
to get a reaction from a woman to eventually sleep with her it's like you
know helping you speed up that process and therefore you see and it kind of
hints at you know that's the reward is you got to sleep with women and sleep
with the hot women and sleep with as many women as possible which reinforces
the damaging identity that you get your self-worth and your value from sleeping
with beautiful women or sleeping with as many women as possible instead of just
getting it from within just knowing that you are a cool awesome guy and if she
goes home with you awesome that's cool you'll have a great experience
if she doesn't awesome you go home and get some rest it doesn't
matter to you either way but when you're studying a bunch of pick up pick up pick
up pick up oftentimes that doesn't become the case
you feel really you know discouraged when you're talking to a beautiful woman
and it seems like she's into you and then she doesn't want to go home with
you or a friend pulls her away or whatever so instead you got to just
release that feeling release that emotion and be happy with the outcome no
matter what and this brings me into the next thing which is guys relying on
techniques to get the girl to get the reaction they want or the outcome they
want rather instead of relying on their mindset their beliefs their identity who
they are as a person they're by just becoming the type of man embodying the
presence the masculine presence of a man who is attractive to women versus
relying on just simple techniques saying this thing or doing this thing to get
this reaction to get this outcome to get this goal instead become the type of man
who is just awesome the type of man that you love to the core and the type of man
that is attractive to beautiful women and then it just becomes natural you
meet women everywhere you approach women with ease there's no hesitation and
you're just surrounded by beautiful women they become just part of your life
instead of using tricks and techniques to get them okay this girl's really cute
I saw her earlier excuse me real quick hi
I'm gonna maybe make one minute what's your channel I don't have one you have
bullet all right stay tuned put her channel on the link down below
when it's there all right well they say I gotta go back to my friends who
actually like filming something yeah but oh yeah see you totally noticed me too
it's meant to be we're gonna get married now that's the next step this is before
I go I don't know anything about you I mean one special you
besides your figure yours
I like that dull things with dollar signs dollar bills y'all I actually knew
a guy he was a pickup coach and he had memorized eight hours of material and he
would go to bars and clubs and you know say the same kind of stuff over and over
again for hours I mean he could even you know he even had material for dates and
he actually got really depressed because he felt like these women were sleeping
with him because they were attracted to him because they were attracted to the
way he was projecting himself right he was wearing like this mask it was all
this fake stuff that he was saying that wasn't really his it wasn't true to his
identity and of course after he ran out of material which was about I think the
second date typically the second or third date then he had nothing else cool
to say it's like he was out he was done and women would lose interest in him
because he would start getting really insecure so he actually became quite
suicidal next is dhv stories oh my gosh these are bad because it means
demonstrating higher value you should be high value but a high value man doesn't
have to demonstrate that he's high value he doesn't have to prove himself to
anybody he's gonna have to try to win her over or try to impress women that's
the issue it's the mindset the mindset of I got to do this thing I gotta say
this thing to get the girl or get a reaction it's already shooting yourself
in the foot and instead when you're just a cool awesome confident calm badass you
don't have to do really anything it's just who you are it's your vibe that
gets her so if you think you have to demonstrate high value or try to impress
women whether it's covertly or overly overly definitely doesn't work but even
if you try to like embed these little dhb stories to show her how awesome you
are usually has the opposite effect
even just using all the Pew 8 jargon I think is somewhat damaging something
wrong with like calling a group of people a set or you know saying this is
a target-rich environment this is what I call a target-rich
environment nothing wrong with this that's not what I'm saying but when you
think of it so tactical like there's a five-set and
I need to go and disarm the obstacle so that I can isolate the target and a MOG
the alpha male of the group then it becomes like this tactical thing and
it's like you're this mission of like I don't know mission impossible or
something which sounds kind of cool but it makes you like robotic now I'm gonna
give you two of the worst pick-up tactics in my opinion one is negs neg is
like a negative compliment and again you're trying to get a reaction
but really the again it's a mindset that is so bad because it's trying to put her
down a few pegs like you view yourself as lower than her and then she's like a
9 or a 10 and you're like a 5 and so you're trying to bring her down to your
shitty level which think about that that's a helpful way to see yourself and
view male-female dynamics instead when you see yourself as a 10 you're never
trying to put anybody down you're always trying to bring people up and that's
what true high value and high status people do they try to bring people up to
their level they're curious about them and you know they want to want to
challenge them a little bit to bring out some of their coolness instead of trying
to you know put them down and they never try to brag or try to impress people
because they already know they're the shit so when you know you're the shit
you don't have to prove to people that you're the shit
here we are shopping for shoes like always why do girls love to shop so much
Jen why do girls love to shop
because she's dishes I don't think so she has so many shoes I actually have a
theory about it that you know women were gatherers men were hunters back in the
day and shopping with us for groceries or shoes or clothing or whatever it's
kind of like going to the meadow and looking for the berries or whatever they
ate back in those days vegetables fruits whatever and it's kind of like just this
primal ingrained thing in them from prehistoric days that they they have to
go you know like the shoe store is there new meadow are you ready to hear the
worst of the worst pick-up techniques in my opinion is how to deal with what they
call LMR last minute resistance when you finally get a beautiful woman back to
your place but she doesn't totally feel like going all the way for whatever
reason you know she's feeling like oh maybe she needs to play a little hard to
get or maybe she just wanted to come back she really likes you she wants to
hook up but she just doesn't want to have sex so when sex is the goal
so you need all these tactics and techniques so make it happen right
because that's the goal when it comes to like pickup mindset which I can it's
really bad mindset it should be like whatever it happens it happens it
doesn't happen it doesn't happen honestly like guys that get laid all the
time they don't care whether it happens I'm gonna care a little bit yeah they
prefer if they meet a beautiful woman they prefer to have sex but if it
doesn't happen she doesn't feel like it or her friend you know they're at the
club and the friend pulls are away last minute they're just like all right cool
let's go talk to somebody else it's they're not they're like affected
by it so anyways when it comes to pickup they teach freeze-out you're getting a
last minute resistance from the girl she's at your house you're making out
but she doesn't want to go any further than that and got to have the cheese on
the salad so she doesn't want to go you know she doesn't wanna go all the way
and the fries out is basically taking away the good emotions from her like
hopefully you know stopping what you're doing she's comfortable making out but
not going further so you stop making out you flip on the lights
yeah get off the bed and you jump on the computer and you check your email
he's totally freeze throughout basically trying to teach her like a lesson that
the fact that she said no to taking it further was bad for you
it's totally effective like you're coming from a place that you're really
affected by it and hey it's probably gonna make her it's probably not gonna
work she's gonna be like jeez okay this guy is really affected by the fact that
I won't go all the way with them that's not attractive much attractive a lot
more attractive to be unaffected to be like cool we don't to do anything that
you don't want to do anything that you're don't drop your course anything
you're not comfortable with it's cool with me you know we can take it slow and
chillie meaning it not just saying that as a technique but actually meaning it
tell her that anytime she doesn't feel comfortable to just tell you and that
ironically enough usually will make her comfortable she just wants to feel like
she has the option to say no at any moment and that you will respect her
decision and that you will stop turning on the lights and showing her that you
know that was a bad move on her part or taking away those good emotions from her
it's becoming from a ruin like a place of scarcity and manipulation versus
coming from a place of love and respect that's gonna work much better and
there's a lot more authentic and honest you know manipulating her so don't do
that woman doesn't want to go all the way don't do a freezeout instead just
keep talking to her kiss her some more tell her if she's not comfortable with
anything that's totally cool just tell me if you're not comfortable with
anything I'll stop I'll stop at any moment I absolutely want to respect you
and that will make her respect you more make her like you more and probably make
her want to take things to a more intimate level so listen guys the point
is you don't need to use a bunch of pickup techniques what it really comes
down to is who you are to your core how you see yourself your identity and your
relationship with yourself like do you love yourself or are you insecure how do
you see yourself and when you work on those things and it takes a lot longer
pickup is like this way to just kind of get some quick results
I'm putting like a band-aid over the problem versus actually healing the
wound when you do that your results get way better and we work on the outer game
on our boot camps we give you you know helpful ways to take the conversation
not lines and routines and things to memorize but a guideline assists
so you know what to do and you know we tweaked your body language and your
outer game but we also work especially on our seven-day boot camps we work on
your inner game as well because that's the foundation and that's what's gonna
get you the results in all parts of your life in the long run your mindset your
beliefs and your identity so don't skip that part to do the work it's absolutely
worth it so check out a boot camp schedule sign
up for a seven-day make sure to subscribe to this channel click that
Bell notification icon and I also got a free cheat sheet for you down in the
description and to the right of this screen if you actually want to know what
to say without using a bunch of lines and routines but just have a few
guidelines here and there then make sure to download our conversation cheat sheet
because it gives you a bunch of more authentic ways to carry the conversation
so you know what to do and want to say you don't worry about running out of
things to say but again when it comes down to it it's all about the inner game
so don't neglect it download the cheat sheet to the right of the screen I hope
to see you at a boot camp soon Cheers