Welcome back everyone!
In most Ozzy Man videos
dogs are the good guys
and cats are labeled as shit heads.
The absolute worst.
But what if all this time
I've had it wrong?
What if dogs are the true dodgy
bastards of the world?!
Why do dogs always steal stuff?
This sheila is trying to make an unboxing
video about yummy cookies
Not any more!
Cookies stolen!
What's that?!
You wanna hang ya washing on the clothesline.
Not only will these dodgy dogs
bloody flog ya bamboo sheet bedding
the greedy entitled wankers will destroy the whole
fuckin' backyard!
And then they've got the nerve to report it to ya
All like
"Hey Gennie!"
"Gennie?!"
"Where are ya?"
"Oi the clothesline fell over"
"I don't know how"
"It must have been the wind"
"It is windy out here"
"Yeah, nah anyway"
"Not our problem"
Awwww there's a toddler learning to use a scooter.
Not any more!
Stolen!
Stolen by a small dog
with a pretentious fuckin' haircut!
Yes fight back.
Fight back child.
He is scoping the place.
This instantly smells of dodginess.
Don't you do it.
That's someone's package
they paid for it with their hard earned money
stop chewing on it!
Quit biting it!
It's not gona be biscuits.
It's not gona be a toy.
It will be something you'd defiantly
don't need!
So leave it alone.
He's not listening to me.
He cant actually hear me
to be fair.
Bloody hell!
He is stealing it!
This is like a criminal organisation
of porch pirate canines.
This is pathetic.
Pick on someone your own size
if you're gona start a fight.
Don't take this shit mantis!
Ah-ha good!
Show off ya martial arts.
Karate!
Yells mantis.
Back off!
Super punch!
I do not fear your sharp teeth and slobbering tongue
for I AM MANTIS!
Oh he's won it!
It's not the size of the dog in the fight
it's the size of the fight in the dog
as the saying goes.
However
Nah, size does matter!
This dog is deluded
it is heavily out numbered
and it thought it could take on
a whole heard of sheep.
The sheep are fed up.
They're sick of being pushed around by a tiny dog.
Baa baa black sheep have you any wool?
Not today, leave us the fuck alone!
Fair enough.
It's a fair enough request
by the sheep I say.
Go on ya little muppet
get outta here!
Go indoors.
You're not built for outdoors.
Go hump ya mattress
and chew on a toy
ya little pussy!
Speaking of humping
that seems to be their only objective in life
hump all the time.
Okay that's not so different to humans
but why can't they learn to get a room at least?
Humping in the backyard!
Humping in the park!
Humping our arms and legs and basically anything.
That's a dogs motto.
Anything that can be humped
shall be humped.
Even thin air.
Fuck me!
Look at them, look at them!
Full throttle missionary
on the bloody patio.
Just
trashy!
Crikey!
Anyway
I'm pretty sure I've made my case.
Dogs are just as dodgy as
any other animal in the kingdom, if not more.
You know it.
I know it.
This kangaroo chilling out at the beach knows it.
Stop yelling at me you domesticated soft cock!
Go on!
Get out of here!
I said get off my beach.
You are cruzin' for a bruzin.
Just let the kangaroo have a swim.
Australia's a hot place
let it cool it's feet down
without having to listen
to all this barking!
Yeah barkings another thing we haven't covered.
Barking
barkey bark
all day long!
Dogy!