i just want to say if you're watching
this show right now
man your priorities are in the wrong
place
i'll start by saying that we do have a
great show we're going to be talking to
my friend al franken this evening and uh
he will have a great understanding i
think
and interesting perspective on what's
happening in our country right now
uh being joined of course as always by
my good friend andy richter hey andy
hi conan how are you wow you're a real
chipper
i'm just smiling through the tension
okay
well let me explain first of all yes
uh i don't care what side of the aisle
you're on i don't care who you voted for
uh this is a tense time for everybody
right now and um
i will be honest with you we uh we are
taping the show
right now it's almost one o'clock in the
afternoon
so it's one o'clock in the afternoon uh
on wednesday and so that's where we are
at this moment as we're talking by the
time you see this show a bunch of things
will have changed
probably though not that much because
we're being told it's going to take
quite a while to count ballots in these
states yeah some states are saying
friday at the earliest so yeah yeah i
don't know
how they're counting them um i i my hats
off to all of the uh
the the people uh who are working very
hard to count these votes but it does
feel like um in 2020 we'd have some sort
of faster method like a machine
that would do this uh but better to be
to be right than be fast that's what i
always say or like you could vote on a
computer that goes right into a database
and then they can just tell the numbers
by looking at them
you're insane that's a crazy idea
what are you some kind of magician
i'm sorry i said anything ladies and
gentlemen i'm sorry about what andy just
said
that whole idea of entering your vote
immediately into a sophisticated
database and it's recorded
instantaneously
that's just communism and you should
know better
anyway a lot of shows are going to begin
their program tonight
by talking about the presidential race
and
who's got how many electoral votes blah
blah blah
i'm going to let them do that because i
think it's my job to start the show with
what's
really important about last night's
election that's right the people of
oregon have voted to legalize possession
of hard drugs yes you heard me right
you can now legally possess cocaine
heroin meth
and all sorts of hard drugs in oregon
isn't that crazy andy
andy
no andy no it's not safe to fly right
now because of covid
[Music]
yeah you're right it's it's not safe to
fly right now
yeah okay well anyway as i said in
oregon you can now
legally get hard drugs and andy
andy
andy trains are just as unsafe as planes
right now
[Music]
yeah conan you're right trains aren't
safe but i did meet a guy
okay anywho really we're just running
footage in reverse
[Laughter]
that's our take on the politics of today
at this historic moment yep trains and
planes
running in reverse
[Laughter]
all right hey look if you came to us for
the sharp political take it's your fault
yeah hey i do want to mention this
speaker they know who we
are yeah we've let you know who we were
for 27 years
and if you voted for us tonight it's
your fault