- So imagine a friend who's baking a blueberry pie.
He follows his grandmother's recipe exactly,
but it turns out awful.
It's dry, it's unpleasant to eat,
but he keeps making the pie strictly by grandma's recipe
over and over again for years.
Everyone's like, "Dude, I can't stand this pie,"
but he's like, "That's how grandma made it,
'cause that's her blueberry pie recipe, darn it."
Strong language, I know,
but then he finds out dozens of pies later
that the recipe he was using had a typo.
It was only supposed to have a quarter cup of flour,
but grandma accidentally wrote one cup, oopsie.
No wonder it was terribly dry. (laughs)
Immature ISTJs have a knee jerk reaction
to defend the status quo, and struggle to differentiate
between the letter and the spirit of the law.
However, a mature ISTJ understands the bigger picture
and the greater purpose of the rules and systems.
They prioritize the spirit of the law
over those individual rules or steps,
ensuring that the intended outcome is achieved,
especially if it's a blueberry pie.
Imagine you and some friends are going to the movies
at 2:00 p.m., but at 1:45, one friend is like,
"Oh, I can't make it at two, let's meet up at five,"
so everyone is like, "Okay," and they meet up at five,
but then that friend isn't even there.
So you call him up, and he's like, "Oh, yeah,
I don't feel like seeing a movie, have fun without me."
Are you fudging with me right now?
Immature ISFPs can come across as inconsiderate
because they assume that everyone is making decisions
in the same way that they are,
which is what do I feel like doing?
That's what I'm gonna do.
Mature ISFPs fully understand the importance
of respecting how their decisions impact others.
These ISFPs think much farther down the road in order
to make sure that their actions work for other people.
Imagine a friend who's always in a bit of a pickle.
He's always getting injured, getting in trouble,
or losing friends for unknown reasons.
Immature ESTPs often find themselves
in these situations because rules, regulations,
and etiquette are mere suggestions to them.
They push boundaries to the limit, even when everyone
around them is like, "Dude, what are you doing?"
Now as they- (audience laughing)
now, as they mature, ESTPs don't lose their desire
to push the limits.
They simply learn when it's appropriate,
because ESTPs, that's what we need them for in society,
to push the limits, just not all the time.
So with a greater focus on the future,
mature ESTPs work towards finding their purpose in life,
and strive to help others achieve discipline
and purpose in their own lives as well.
Hmm, imagine a friend who's like,
"I'm gonna hike across Europe with nothing but a backpack."
But if you were to ask him to go on a meditation retreat,
he'd be like, "Oh, no, that's so dumb."
Immature ISTPs are realists to a fault.
They're adventurous, yes, but only if it has to do
with something observable, measurable, quantifiable.
They almost seem afraid of things that are not grounded
in facts, but a mature ISTP would be open
to exploring, for example, meditation.
They would even bring their curious,
analytical thinking to such a subject
and try to figure out how does meditation really work,
like cognitively, scientifically, factually,
and how can we then use that knowledge to benefit everybody?
Imagine a friend who really wants to go to university A,
but he ultimately goes to university B,
because his dad really liked university B
and wanted him to go there.
Immature is ISFJs struggle to assert their decisions,
wants and needs because they're easily influenced
by others' emotions.
This leads to the question of who am I a lot
as they struggle to define themselves.
Mature is ISFJs develop a strong sense of self,
and stand by their decisions even if they may upset others.
They're able to evaluate their reasoning for their choices,
and they won't sacrifice their path
in life to appease others.
Imagine a friend who's kind of stressful to hang out with
because he makes unilateral decisions
for the whole group all the time, like, "Okay, gang,
we're gonna solve this mystery right now,"
and you're like, "What?
I thought we were just like, hanging out
and eating Scooby snacks."
Immature ESTJs take charge in every situation
whether it's appropriate or not,
and while this behavior can be beneficial
in business settings, it could be a real buzzkill
if you're just trying to have a little fun,
like we do on the Frank James channel.
Mature ESTJs are able to turn off their take charge attitude
when it's not needed,
allowing them to navigate social situations gracefully.
By being flexible and listening to others,
they can make their friends
and family feel more comfortable and at ease.
Imagine telling a friend that something is a bad idea,
but he's like, "Well, I don't know until I try it,"
and then he does it, and it turns out
you were right and it was a bad idea.
An immature ESFP's life can quickly become a string
of mistakes and messes that could have easily been avoided
if they'd just listened.
They often ignore the warnings of others
and just jump headfirst into disastrous situations.
Why?
Why not?
However, mature ESFPs have the wisdom to learn
from others' mistakes without direct experience. (laughs)
Instead of repeating the errors
of the past or other people's pasts,
they explore with caution and make informed decisions.
Imagine a friend who stops talking to everyone
in his life for the four months leading up
to a marathon he's gonna run.
He doesn't even reach out
to his mom to wish her a happy birthday.
Sure, he might win the race,
but he lost the hearts of those around him and his mama.
He straight up broke her heart.
ENTJs know what they want,
and immature ENTJs may adopt a mentality
of achieving greatness at any cost.
They make short-term sacrifices
that have unintended long-term consequences.
Mature ENTJs recognize
that bulldozing everything in their path
in order to win might not be the best approach.
They still aim high, but they channel their intensity
in a much more precise way.
Imagine a friend of yours who is nice to everybody
to their face, but then he trash talks everybody
behind their backs.
He does this to the point where you're like,
"I don't trust this guy,
because he's probably talking about me behind my back."
Immature ESFJs can be elitist.
Okay, ESFJs are generally focused on what is good
and what is bad, and the spectrum in between,
whether that's clothes, whether that's behavior,
whether that's someone's character,
and immature ESFJs do not hesitate to slap good
and bad labels on everybody.
When ESFJs mature,
they become more empathetic and benevolent,
even to people who don't mesh with their own values.
Their surface level friendliness becomes
a true, genuine warmth that they have for everyone.
Imagine a friend who gets an idea to start a YouTube channel
and he gets you and all his other friends involved
in the production process, but then a couple months later,
he's like, "Eh I'm not too interested
in this anymore, see ya," and he leaves you high and dry.
Immature ENTPs often get other people swept up
in their big ideas,
but their stick-to-it-iveness is pretty low.
Mature ENTPs take responsibility for their ideas,
recognizing the importance of follow through,
especially when it affects others.
Imagine a guy who has a friend
who is constantly letting him down,
maybe even being mean to him, just in general,
being a crappy, terrible, stupid, poopy friend.
But for some reason, he still considers this guy to be
a friend because well, oh, he's just moody or whatever.
He's a nice guy under that terrible exterior, I think.
Immature ENFJs are way too forgiving,
always assuming and hoping for the best in people,
letting their empathy burn themselves out.
Can I get real with you?
Some people don't deserve second chances, boom.
You can be empathetic and still have boundaries.
You can be empathetic without being pathetic.
Just made that up right now. (chuckles)
Frank, that is so dumb.
Mature ENFJs know when to say enough is enough
and cut people out of their lives.
Have you ever had a friend who had an inside joke
or was doing a bit, doing wacky, if you will
like he's some kind of immersive performance artist?
It's like, I know he finds this funny, but I don't.
I'm not sure anyone does, and it's just kind of getting old.
Like, when is he gonna drop it and be serious?
We're trying to pass our master sommelier exam today, okay?
This is not the appropriate time for you to start doing
your Charles Barkley impersonation.
That wine's just terrible.
Immature ENFPs don't mind
if they're self amusement comes at a cost.
Mature ENFPs still joke around a lot,
but they make sure that everyone is in on the joke,
and part of that is understanding,
hey, if it's time to be serious,
let's buckle down and get to work.
We played hard, now we're gonna work maybe a little hard,
I don't know. (chuckles)
Maybe not too hard, just a little bit.
Imagine a friend who is obsessed with learning new recipes,
always studying new cooking techniques,
up to date on the latest in cookware technology,
but the thing is, he doesn't cook.
He doesn't even really know how,
unless you count the hours he has cooked in his mind.
INTPs love cramming more and more knowledge
into their noggins.
Immature INTPs, however, they often become armchair experts
who never use any of their knowledge in the real world.
It's not that learning for learning sake is bad,
it's just that immature INTP realizes that to make an impact
in the world, to help other people,
you need to get out of that proverbial armchair.
Like, there's only so much time in a day,
so at some point, you gotta stop taking in information
and start doing something
with the information that you have.
Have you ever heard of going monk mode?
It's like a productivity hack.
It's really trendy right now.
Supposedly, you can get a lot of stuff done
by shutting yourself off from people
and technology for a while,
just like Adrian Monk, after whom it's named,
Immature INFPs go monk mode,
but they're not getting anything done.
They're not even solving any crimes like Adrian Monk.
90% of my audience is like,
"I don't know what you're talking about."
It could be that the INFP is daydreaming ideas
for a screenplay they could write,
or they could be processing their emotions
about a past event, but nothing is really happening,
except they are getting further
and further into their own minds.
(chuckling)
Mature INFPs actually start writing that script,
or they do all the emotional processing,
and then they wrap it up and they leave it behind them.
They don't stew in it.
Yes, mature INFPs go into monk mode, but they turn it
into a catalyst for creativity, growth, and change.
Picture a friend who waits until 10:00 p.m.
the night before his 8:00 a.m. exam to start studying,
but it's not procrastination, okay?
It's his plan, because he thinks it's inefficient
to start studying earlier in the week.
It's just too many hours.
I'll get it done all the night before.
So he sits down to study, and his laptop starts updating
the operating system for three hours.
Like, it didn't give him a choice.
It was just like, we're updating now, and deal with it.
And then the dorm room next door starts blasting music.
He goes to the library, but the fire alarm goes off.
Back at his building at 2:00 a.m.,
he realizes he locked himself out of his room.
Chaos ensues.
Immature INTJs over-plan to a fault,
leaving no room for real world mishaps.
Imagine an immature INTJ is like, "Here's my plan,
and it's accounting for this exact thing happening.
Oh, but I didn't see that coming."
Mature INTJs always have a backup plan or two,
and they understand that flexibility and rolling
with the punches that reality throws at you is key.
They don't get so sucked into looking over here
that they miss everything
that's coming at them from over here.
Imagine a person who is stressed out
by a messy relationship, but it's not his relationship.
It's his friend's relationship,
and no, I don't mean a love triangle, okay?
It's because he's his friend's go-to guy to vent to,
and of course, he doesn't want to be rude,
so he just ends up endlessly listening to problems
from this other guy who isn't even interested
in actually working out those problems.
Immature INFJs can get caught up in other people's emotions,
taking on issues that aren't theirs to bear.
Mature INFJs know where to draw the line,
understanding that it's not their responsibility
to solve everyone's issues.
They have mastered the subtle art
of kindly setting boundaries, knowing when to say,
"Hey, maybe it's time for you to talk
to someone else about this, okay?"
This not only helps them avoid becoming overwhelmed,
but it also allows their friends to seek the help
they truly need.
Thanks for watching,
and until next time, stay cool and attractive.
♪ They say a stranger's come to town ♪
♪ They call him Mr. Frank James ♪