THE SEANCE: The psychic impression of this body
clenches it.
This isn't an alien doppelganger, an android, or a
test tube clone.
This is really you, Rumor, and you're dead.
Sorry about that.
And I thought having one of you around was bad.
THE RUMOR: Very funny, Klaus.
THE SEANCE: Say cheese!
THE RUMOR: You know, I heard the Flashomatic 210 has a
defective wire that ruins the film.
THE MONOCLE: Space!
Space, come in.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Aw, nuts.
SPACEBOY: This is Agent 00.01.
MALE SPEAKER: Trouble in Tokyo, Spaceboy.
A toymaker ticked off a sea serpent by producing a plush
doll in its image.
The doll sings "Happy
Birthday." Hop in the televator.
We can barely hold it back.
SPACEBOY: We're on our way.
Rumor, I wish you hadn't used your power
on that guy's camera.
We need the press to report your death.
THE RUMOR: Why?
SPACEBOY: Because we need to whoever killed you to squirm.
They're not just going to come out and brag about it.
MURDER MAGICIAN: So then I killed her.
[AUDIENCE GASPS]
LUCIFER CLARK: Now, that's magic.
How'd you do it?
MURDER MAGICIAN: Well, Mr. Clark, I sawed her in half.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
LUCIFER CLARK: For those of you just tuning in, our guests
tonight are amazing Murder Magician and his lovely
minion, The Assistant.
THE ASSISTANT: Charmed, I'm sure.
LUCIFER CLARK: Who recently killed The Rumor.
And you were awarded the Oppenheimer Prize for Villainy
at last week's annual Summit for Dastardly Deeds.
What are you going to do with all that money?
MURDER MAGICIAN: Well, I'm so glad you asked that, because I
spent all the money on this giant murder bot, and I've
been dying to show it off.
THE ASSISTANT: It's true.
Every penny.
LUCIFER CLARK: Wow, that's impressive.
So what does it do?
MURDER MAGICIAN: Well, Mr. Clark, it murders people.
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
MURDER MAGICIAN: I'm serious.
THE ASSISTANT: He is.
OFFICER: Inspector Lupo, things are getting worse in
the studio.
The mayor wants to know what's taking them so long.
INSPECTOR LUPO: These umbrella brats, they
always make us wait.
They insist on using their televator instead of simply
flying here.
OFFICER: Here they come.
INSPECTOR LUPO: Hand me my teeth.
BODY: Superheroes.
INSPECTOR LUPO: You're late.
SPACEBOY: We had a hard time finding a serviceable elevator
in the Pacific Ocean.
What's the situation?
The Murder Magician's hypnotized Lucifer Clark and
his studio audience and set a murder
bot to careless brutality.
He demands $10 million and a date with Italian soap star
Gina Barbo.
He's also taking credit for killing The Rumor.
THE KRAKEN: He's full of it.
INSPECTOR LUPO: He's got photographs, Kraken, and he's
showing them on camera.
SPACEBOY: We'll take over, Inspector.
Keep your men posted outside in case The Murder Magician
tries to escape.
And above all, don't panic.
INSPECTOR LUPO: Hm.
[AUDIENCE SCREAMING]
MURDER MAGICIAN: Success!
THE ASSISTANT: Explode them.
Explode them all!
MURDER MAGICIAN: A wonderful idea, cupcake.
But first, for my next trick, a fabulous act of violence!
THE ASSISTANT: An oldie, but a goodie.
And it never gets old.
MURDER MAGICIAN: Assistant, I hope you
brought a spare costume.
What's that?
SPACEBOY: Now, put that saw down before you hurt yourself.
THE KRAKEN: You're ridiculous, Space.
MURDER MAGICIAN: Presto.
THE HORROR: Space!
MURDER MAGICIAN: That's two.
It's going to break your little hearts to watch me kill
your whole family.
THE KRAKEN: Not really.
We're adopted.
SPACEBOY: Horror, grab a hold of its other arm.
THE HORROR: Got it.
SPACEBOY: Seance, loosen up its bolts.
Now, pull!
THE RUMOR: Hey, Assistant.
I heard the lighting rig in this place was a rush job.
Any kind of weight and it'll give.
THE ASSISTANT: I thought we killed you.
Ah!
THE MONOCLE: How, indeed.
THE HORROR: Dad.
THE KRAKEN: Hargreaves.
SPACEBOY: Sir.
THE SEANCE: You again?
THE MONOCLE: Must I remind you to refer to
me only as The Monocle?
Really.
And why are you still alive, Rumor?
SPACEBOY: Because she lied to us.
That's what Rumor does.
She'd been ditching patrol duties.
She told us she was studying polygraph
science at the library.
She'd been running off with a Polynesian knife thrower when
you caught her sneaking in after midnight.
But she told us she'd been at the library.
And what Rumor says always turns out to be true.
I had my suspicions when the body turned up.
Then I found this on it.
Her lie had manifested in another Rumor at the library.
It wasn't long before someone found her.
The murde--
THE MONOCLE: Good job, Agent 00.01.
To think I let the Murder Magician to a copy.
Fascinating.
THE RUMOR: What?
THE KRAKEN: You told that psycho where to find her?
Why would you do that?
THE MONOCLE: To teach her a lesson.
Class dismissed.