hi this is kira with another video on midlife crisis so if you need more resources on this
you want to learn more check out the playlist also if you really need help with this there'll
be links in the description below where you can get in touch with me if you need to talk about
this so midlife crisis is a process and there are definite stages in it that you go through
and sometimes you know you don't go perfectly from one step to another but the overall process
you do transition from stage to stage and partly it is this process that's how you can tell if you
are having a midlife crisis rather than just some mental and emotional challenges that are specific
to a different issue very often they look the same but traditional treatments will not give lasting
relief on midlife crisis so you know check out the video and you can make just you know decision when
you hear what the stages are which one applies to you so let's get into it what are the stages of a
midlife crisis there are six the first stage is dissatisfaction for no apparent reason and this
is one of the things that I think is one of the key things you may not even recognize it in the
first stage but if you can it's very helpful because then you're not struggling and trying
wasting time trying all these things that aren't gonna work you may have high level of success you
may look you know have achieved a lot of things that you want to achieve or your life might be
just kind of business as usual with some things going well and some things not going well but
the key difference is is that there's a sense of dissatisfaction that's not about anything in
particular and a lot of people get lost in this stage because they start oh I'm dissatisfied
so it has to be about a particular thing in a particular issue and if I just find the right
issue and change that then everything is going to be fine that does not work with a midlife crisis
so that's one of the key things like you may feel I'm you know not happy with my career or my job if
you look for other options and address that you'll feel relief from that that's not a midlife crisis
you may feel dissatisfaction in a relationship you make changes for that relationship and
you feel better in it and it lasts then those are kind of issue specific things a midlife crisis is a
general dissatisfaction or you may be dissatisfied with multiple areas in your life at the same time
and if you've been going from issue to issue and saying well maybe it's this and maybe it's this
and maybe it's this and you try to make changes in all those different areas but you still feel the
dissatisfaction chances are you're dealing with a man in crisis so that brings me to the second
point so the first point is dissatisfaction for no discernable or no specific reason second point is
superficial things just don't work and I'm not saying that changing your job or your career
or dealing with something that isn't working in a relationship isn't important or valuable what I'm
saying is that things that trying to change things on the outside don't work and that's kind of a
more superficial thing so the thing we're dealing with a midlife crisis is you need to do go inside
and do deep work on you and if you try to do superficial things and you know sometimes people
you know make a whole bunch of changes sometimes people kind of act out in this stage they maybe
think oh if I buy some new stuff or if I get in great shape or going and you diet or move to a
new place or buy a new car or you know there's all kinds of different ways that people try to
deal with this they just don't bring life lasting relief even though they might be healthy things
to do or even though they might or they could be the opposite sometimes people really act out in
the stage they start partying a lot they start with addictions of different kinds maybe people
take up smoking that never really had before maybe drugs or try to manipulate their energy with food
or excessive exercise like there's a whole bunch of ways that we can act out and sometimes it's
you know being not nice to the people around you taking it out on the people around you
so there's many ways that you can deal with this whether in a positive or a negative way but they
won't work they just don't work the third stage is when you've done enough of this and for some
people they don't need to do a lot or any of that but some people need to do a lot of it you get to
the point where you start to question everything and you start looking inside yourself and saying
why is this thing in my life why am I doing this what is this thing why do I keep behaving this way
why do I keep making a certain kind of decision why isn't a or B or C or D or E working why am
i in this relationship why do I have this job why am i letting people treat me a certain way why am
i treating other people a certain way like there can be so many different ways that it looks but
the theme is that you start to question you start to question yourself and you start looking inside
which is the first step of starting deal with it the fourth step is you don't like what you see on
some degree now this could be you don't like what you see inside of you it can also be that you're
starting to not like what you see outside of you even though in the past these were things that
brought you a lot of pleasure a lot of enjoyment and satisfaction and they're not even to say
that those things are wrong it's just that the answers aren't there so you may look around you
and say why am I in this peer group why do I do this certain thing why do I go to these certain
places why do you know why am I in this marriage why am I acting a certain way as a parent or as a
member of my family why do I have this job why did I start X Y Z why am I doing this kind of creative
work so you start asking yourself the questions and they start sort of you know the more concrete
level and then most of the time if you're really doing the work the questions will get deeper and
deeper and deeper and you'll get into more and more fundamental layers like Who am I who do I
want to be in the world and what are the parts of myself that I'm avoiding what are the parts that
I really don't like about myself and now you're really starting to get to the heart of the matter
and that when step number five starts when you start going through these layers you get to doing
deep inner work and you start to recognize mental and emotional patterns that you've had sometimes
they may have served you really well in the past like we do things and we have habits because at
some point in the time they work so but one of the things with a midlife crisis is is it won't
let you get away with this anymore so it's like if you you know broke your ankle and you needed
to get a cast and then maybe cane or crutches it won't midlifecrisis will force you to heal to the
point where you've done all the physio that you can walk again without any help but not just walk
that you can run even if you've never been able to run before you will be able to run and run fast
that's what this part is about that's what the deep inner work is about you need to let go of
the things that have helped you and and I'm gonna use the word enabled you to get to this point they
could be ways that you see yourself they could be ways that you allow other people to treat you
they could be all kinds of different symptoms on the outside but you have to go inside and
find the fundamental core and cause and heal them and heal them means that they don't exist anymore
they're not there which brings us to step number six so step number six is transformation beyond
your imagination so think of butterfly it starts out as a caterpillar and it becomes a butterfly
it becomes something totally new so the first five stages are like going into the cocoon and becoming
the chrysalis and then the chrysalis emerging as the butterfly when you come out the other
side of this you will still be you but you'll be a version of you that you couldn't even have dreamt
that existed when you started out and it will be incredible you will have a sense of presence
a sense of authenticity that's the biggest word that comes from me you have this sense in this
feeling of I am who I really am and you don't need to fake it for anyone anywhere anytime anymore you
are who you are and you have a deep sense of love and enjoyment in the you that you uncovered this
diamond that you've uncovered beneath all the dirt so at this point you may go back to old
things that you've done before and enjoy them in a new way and in a very authentic way or you may
think you know there may be areas of your life that just me done with that bring on the new or
you may find that all of your life wants to be new and the outcome you can't really predict at
the beginning it's only once you go through the deep deep transform transformative work that you
can pick and choose the things that are really authentic and really belong for you so whatever
is in your life at this time will be really authentic and it will you know really reflect the
amazing incredible beautiful being that you are so those are the six stages I'll just review them
again the first stage is dissatisfaction with no real reason the second one is superficial things
don't help like being positive making changes won't help step number three is you question
everything step number four is you don't like what you see possibly on the outside but definitely on
the inside step number five is you start to do the deep inner work and step number six
is transformation beyond your imagination leave me your questions if you need to reach out to me
I'll make sure that the link is there I'm gonna be making more videos and content on this but if
you need to talk to someone you can get in touch with me and talk to you soon on the next video