#intro
Family channels are very popular, and not only on Youtube but also on Instagram and
other platforms.
It's usually about a vlog following the family members activities throughout their day, regardless
of how mundane those activities are.
But no matter how healthy or toxic you consider this practice, the children are always going
to be the victims here.
And it's not only about privacy, but a much more delicate topic: the odds of long term
mental and emotional troubles.
And in this video I'm going to show you the three reasons why, no matter how good the
intentions of these parents could be, family channels should be banned.
These reasons are:
- The pressure of performing anxiety - The curse of fame before skills, and
- The paradox of nice comments
Welcome back, my Body Language Buddies! my name is Jesús Enrique Rosas, I'm the Body
Language Guy, and it would be great if you join us... by just liking this video, subscribing
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Let's get down to it!
#1 THE PRESSURE OF PERFORMING ANXIETY
And this is very easy to picture if we imagine this hypothetical kid called Jake.
Jake is living a normal life for a kid, with his family in the suburbs; playing video games,
riding his bike and attending, I don't know... piano classes.
And one day there's this family reunion, where the uncles, cousins and friends are invited,
and everyone is having a good time including Jake, until his mom has an idea:
"Hey Jake, why don't you play some piano for us"
Jake's face goes absolutely white.
Like, Bryce Dallas Howard white.
His heart begins racing and the only thing that comes to his mind is "I am not ready
for this".
But you can imagine what happens next.
Jake reLUCtantly accepts and sits down at the piano, plays one tune, maybe makes a couple
mistakes and earns a lukewarm clapping from the audience.
This is an example of performance anxiety.
Most adults have a hard time with this, for example with the fear of public speaking.
But it's much more impactful for the psyche of a child, that is developing.
Now, if Jake's parents were INfluencers, this would be a much worse situation that is twofold.
First, the camera, which represents the audience, would be always on.
You're having breakfast, the camera is on.
You're going to school, the camera is on.
You're doing your homework, the camera is on.
You're at the playground, the camera is on.
You're going to bed, the camera is on.
And to be fair, children would not have much of a problem with that, because... it's just
a camera.
They're not seeing the audience itself.
But... you know that children learn by imitation.
And every child of an influencer family is going to absorb in a non conscious way, one
very poisonous behavior.
When the camera is rolling, mom and dad act in a certain way.
When the camera is off... they relax, they talk more spontaneously, and most probably
the're not as happy and cheerful like when the camera is on.
The child will be unconsciously programmed to understand that when the camera is rolling,
it's a performance, no matter what they are doing.
And you could say “HEY but these kids do not have performance anxiety because they’re
not performing in itself.
They’re just living“
And… that is an even worse situation.
That's the second part of the twofold problem.
Because then, you don't know what does it mean to perform 'well' as you see your parents
trying.
When you are playing the piano, it's easy to know when you make mistakes.
It's easy to understand what is a good performance.
But how do you 'perform' when you're having lunch?
how do you 'perform' sitting in the back of the family's car?
how do you 'perform' brushing your teeth?
This generates anxiety of the worst kind inside an underdeveloped mind.
Because when the camera is on, there's no skill that you can tell that you’re good
ar bad.
The camera is on for just LIVING.
And that brings us to the second point:
#2 THE CURSE OF FAME BEFORE SKILLS
Fame usually happens the Rocky way.
An unknown has some kind of talent, that has been developing through constant practice,
then they get their big break, and there comes a lot more training to do, then they get punched
into warm gelatin, but they get their name up there, then there comes more training,
then they win, and yes, there will always be more and more training including running
in slow motion at the beach.
But for all that we know, the grueling development of that skill was mostly hidden because they
were, well, nobodies, and noone could know the price they had to pay to become the world's
finest.
Yes, there are people that we have absolutely no way to explain how they became famous,
or why, but disregarding all famous people as stupid or non talented would be ludicrous.
Let's just say that fame usually happens AFTER you've spent years mastering your craft.
Well, the children of Youtube families must reverse engineer that, because they are already
famous, so to speak.
Instead of going from skill to fame, they have to develop skills in spite of being famous.
Because CONtrary to public belief, fame doesn't make that process easier; in fact, it makes
it a living hell.
Because you're gonna have a lot of people cheering up your efforts, and that's great;
but you're also going to face thousands upon thousands of trolls that are going to rip
your self confidence apart.
For a graphic example, search for any Dixie D'amelio song here on Youtube, look at the
comments and you'll see what I mean.
She's famous thanks to her sister, Charli D'amelio, and she's trying to kickstart a
singing career.
But you have to work on that skill, for years, because there is so much more to singing than
just your voice.
That's not something that you want to rush.
And it's not a matter of talent because if you're famous BEFORE showing any skills for
it, the trolls are going to eat you alive, no matter if you're talented or not.
And yes, spending many years mastering your craft helps you develop mental toughness and
confidence in your own abilities, so you can stand the hordes of internet trolls.
Even so, as an example, it's perfectly normal for first class athletes to second guess themselves
all the time.
But let’s imagine that Jake grew up and decided to go un-public and doesn’t want
the fame or anything.
Doesn't want anything to do with his Youtuber family.
He changes his name to Aloysius Devadander Abercrombie, moves to Greenland, becomes a
lawyer and just in case, wears a fancy Urutoraman mask all the time.
There’s one thing that will be haunting him for decades, and it's...
#3 THE PARADOX OF NICE COMMENTS
We already know that comments can be mean, and absolute destroy your confidence.
But SMALL children that appear on Youtube channels virtually NEVER get bad comments.
For example, look at this kid playing with all those puppies.
Aww... isn't that cute?
Even King LioNIdas would comment OMG SO CUTE.
Now, here is the problem.
You don't have to be a Youtube parent to guess that the most watched and liked family videos
are the ones with children on them.
And if you look at the comments, you will confirm that since Jake was born, absolute
strangers were telling him how cute he is, how smart he is, how kind, how handsome, how
is he going to be a hit with the ladies, how is he going to become the president of planet
earth because he is the chosen one!
This goes way beyond encouraging words and becomes sort of an obsession.
We already know that parents that spoil their children, that tell them all the time how
smart, cute, special they are, that... greatness awaits them, are raising a narcissist that
is going to buy into that narrative, and he's going to really believe that he's the chosen
one.
Now multiply it by thousands of people saying it all the time for the first fifteen years
of Jake's life.
When he finds these comments, and he will, it will be a shock to his normal emotional
development.
And this is even worse for those kids whose parents create separate Instagram accounts
for them.
Now, even if Jake decides to go absolutely private with his life and quits all social
media, those comments on the Family channel are going to stay both public, and inside
his memory.
And he won't believe that there is a problem with that because, after all, they are mostly
positive.
But Jake will face struggles as any human being.
And sadly he will have a very hard time facing them because all this public conditioning
of him being smart and special.
would have distorted his own self perception while it was still in development.
The worst case scenario is that Jake becomes a narcissist.
That won't be surprising.
And these comments become a permanent source of supply, that is the gasoline of a narcissist.
What's more; his life will be really frustrating because he got years of obSESsive reinforcement
just for being a kid exposed to the public.
And now, he has to earn it.
But it shouldn't be so difficult.
Because he's special.
Right?
Parents already have a hard time helping their children managing their emotions in limited
social circles, like school.
Now blow it up to the whole planet and you'll realize that this task becomes impossible.
It's common sense, something that most Youtuber parents just don't have.
That's why I think that family influencers, no matter their intentions, should be banned.
They are jeopardizing the mental health of their own children.
Not to mention their privacy, all in the name of getting more views.
#outro
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