- When you're in one of those moments
and you're just feeling discouraged
and you've got negative thoughts
that are just hammering away at you,
telling you you're not good enough,
things aren't gonna work out.
They're never gonna work out for you.
What do you do in those moments to get control of your mind?
You know, this is fascinating
when you study really successful people,
there's something that they all do
to eliminate and interrupt that negative thinking.
So today I'm gonna share with you
five strategies that highly successful people use
to eliminate negative thinking.
Check it out.
(upbeat music)
Hey, this is Mat Boggs
and I am the founder of the Love and Relationship division
of the Brave Thinking Institute,
where our mission is increasing love in the world
one heart at a time.
And so if you like this video, go ahead
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So that way you are the first to get notifications,
because every week we bring you videos to empower you
in your love life.
Now just recently, my wife and I
were watching this dating show.
And on this dating show, one of the girls that we just love,
she's so adorable, so amazing.
She got rejected, didn't get chosen.
And so she's on her way home.
And as she's riding in this car
she's got tears streaming down her face,
her heart is broken.
She's just feeling crushed and she says to the camera,
"You know, I'm just that girl
that always makes men realize what they want next
and it's never me.
I'm never the girl that gets chosen.
That's just a hard pill that I'm gonna have to swallow."
And I'm thinking to myself, holy moly,
no, you don't have to swallow that pill.
In fact, that belief she's saying
that that belief is a pill she's gonna have to swallow,
I hope she doesn't swallow that pill
because that's a horrible thing to believe
and yet that's exactly how negative thinking works.
It tries to convince you that this is the way it is
and this is the way it's always gonna be
and you just have to accept it.
And so the purpose of this video is to remind you
that you don't have to accept it.
In fact, there's a way that you can interrupt it
and re-pattern it.
Because if you're not careful,
negative beliefs, what they'll do is,
they'll take the current circumstance,
they'll gather everything from your past,
that's just like that circumstance.
This guy who rejected you, that time it didn't work out,
this other person who didn't choose you and say,
"See, this is the way it is."
And like a slingshot, it pulls back,
gathers all the negative advice
and flings it forward into your future.
I call this the negative belief slingshot effect
because that's how it works.
It's just like a slingshot.
When I was little,
my dad bought us one of those three person slingshots
where one person would hold one handle of the slingshot,
another person would hold the other handle.
And then the person in the middle would have that pouch
and pull the bungee of the slingshot back,
put a water balloon in it, pull it way back
and then let it go.
And it would fly hundreds of feet forward.
And that's exactly how these negative beliefs work.
They will stretch back, gather up all the evidence
and attempt to fling it into your future.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
You don't have to swallow a pill that says you are unworthy
or men don't choose you, or it's not gonna work out.
So what are practices to interrupt that thought
and to replace it with something that's gonna serve you?
Something that's gonna create the future
that you actually want.
We're gonna talk about those five strategies right now.
Step number one is to notice what you're noticing.
This is called metacognition
where you can actually notice what you're thinking
about right now.
For a moment, what are you thinking about right now?
What are you feeling right now?
You can notice yourself having thoughts.
And when you notice yourself having a thought
that is disempowering, you have the opportunity
to change that response and think something
that is empowering.
So notice in any moment, am I in an empowered thought
or am I in a disempowered thought?
Because not everything that you face can be changed
but you can't change anything
unless you're willing to face it.
So are we willing to notice what we're noticing?
There's an example of this,
where I went on a date and we were having a good time.
We went to dinner, then we went to this party
and at the end of the party she goes,
"Hey, you've got some, some salad in your teeth."
And I was like, oh man, oh, look at that,
and I got the salad out of my teeth.
I said, "How long was that there?"
And she was, "Well, it was there after dinner."
I was like, "You didn't tell me?
We went through this whole party,
you saw it after dinner you didn't tell me
about the salad in my teeth?"
Now I couldn't fix and take the salad out of my teeth
until I became aware of it.
And she helped me become aware of it.
So as you become aware of,
wow, is the thought that I'm thinking
empowering or disempowering?
You have the moment to choose.
Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist,
who survived the Holocaust,
who wrote the book "Man's Search for Meaning"
has a great quote.
And he says this,
"Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom."
And I love that because that's exactly
what notice what you're noticing is.
You notice, okay, I've had the stimulus,
now I'm having a thought, I'm noticing it.
There's a space.
How am I going to choose to respond in this moment?
Which leads us to step number two,
which is to sequester the negative thought,
reduce it to part of you.
What we will often do is we will yield our entire power.
Our entire I am over to the negative thought.
So this woman in this dating show says,
"I am never the woman who's chosen.
I am the woman who helps other men find out what they want
and it's never me."
Or we might say, I am scared, or I am not enough or I am.
When you give your entire I am over to a belief,
you give your whole power and beingness over to that.
Rarely do people realize, you can actually sequester it
to part of you.
The part of you feels that way
but there's a whole other part of you as well.
And so it's a beautiful move to make,
to say part of me feels afraid right now.
Part of me feels discouraged right now.
Part of me is feeling rejected right now.
Part of me feels unworthy right now.
And when you can reduce it to part of you
what that does is it gives you access
to the other part of you.
And in that other part of you lies your connection
to spirit, lies your connection to your true power.
But before you engage with that empowered place in you
the first step is to love the part of you
that's feeling hurt or feeling sad or feeling scared
or is that paradigm, is that limited negative thought.
It's bubbling up for the purpose of release
and re-patterning, not to stop you or not to drag you down
or keep you discouraged, but to be transformed.
And so when you say, wow part of me is feeling really scared
or part of me feeling really rejected,
part of me is feeling really discouraged right now.
Notice where you feel that in your body
and then wrap it up in love and acceptance.
And you can say to yourself, even though I got rejected,
I will completely and fully love and accept myself now.
Even though a part of me is feeling unworthy,
I completely and fully love and accept myself right now.
And you wrap that part of you up in love and acceptance
and you will notice that energy begin to lighten,
begin to release its tension.
Now, this is one of those things
that might be easier said than done.
I know that self-love can be really challenging
for a lot of us, depending on how we grew up
and depending on how those negative thoughts are firing.
So if you would love some support
with the process of loving that part of you,
I've created a great tool for you.
It's free, it's a gift from me to you.
And it's called the Self-Love Activation kit.
It's got an ebook and a meditation
that will take you to that place of self-love in you.
It's beautiful, it works.
Just click the link in this video
and you can get access to that kit.
And after you've surrounded that place in love
then you move on to step number four
which is connect to the empowered part of you.
And so locate in your body,
as you drop out of your mind, down into your body,
where there is the part of you located in your body,
where is the part of you that feels empowered?
The part of you, that's connected to spirit,
connected to your higher power.
The part of you that's connected to the truth
and connect to that part of you and ask it for a message.
Say, what empowering message do you have
for me in this moment?
And you'll notice, you will get a message.
You will get some sort of feeling
or you'll hear a message that supports you and empowers you.
And that's where you reconnect to your true nature
which leads us right to step number five.
Which is you replace the limiting thought
with this new empowering message.
What's the new affirmation,
the new empowering belief that you're gonna fire.
So you take that thought
and you begin to repeat that thought in your mind, you say,
even though I'm feeling rejected,
I love and accept myself fully.
And my man is on his way.
The relationship I want will work out.
I am worthy. I am enough.
Whatever your affirmation is
you think that thought, you fire that thought,
you repeat that thought and here's why.
There's neuroplasticity,
we can literally deconstruct negative beliefs
and reconstruct empowering beliefs
by thinking the thought again and again,
because thoughts that fire together, wire together.
Neurons that fire together, wire together.
You can literally change your brain and change your thoughts
by repeating a thought over and over again.
So repeat that empowered affirmation
and what you will notice over time
is that the negative thoughts that plague us,
I'm not worthy, I don't have what it takes,
I'm not beautiful, whatever it is,
become quieter and quieter and quieter
until they completely dissolve away.
And you replace that with an empowered belief.
The empowered part of you, that's connected to truth.
Because I believe the truth of you is that you are worthy.
The truth of you is that you do have what it takes.
The truth of you is that the best is yet to come.
The truth for you is that there's amazing possibilities
in store for you.
And as you connect to those possibilities
you will draw them to your life.
So my question for you is
what negative belief would you love to re-pattern
and what positive belief would you re-pattern it to?
Go ahead and post that in the comment section below.
I appreciate you.
Thanks so much for watching and I'll see you soon.
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