♪♪♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY!
LET'S SAY HELLO TO THE CREATOR OF THE BEAUTIFUL NEW ALBUM "WE
ARE."
GO GET IT.
MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO, JON BATISTE!
HOW ARE YA?
>> Jon: YES, DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY, BABY.
THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: I'VE GOT TO ASK YOU ABOUT SOMETHING VERY
IMPORTANT -- HOW'S YOUR BRACKET?
>> Jon: OH, MY BRACKET, FOR THE "MARCH MADNESS" THAT'S GOING
AROUND!
>> Stephen: I HAVE TO IMAGINE AS A NATIONAL BASKETBALL
CHAMPION YOURSELF -- >> Jon: HEY.
>> Stephen: -- YOU FOLLOW THE GAME OF HOOP AND STICK.
>> Jon: YES, YES.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I HAVEN'T BEEN FOLLOWING IT AS MUCH THIS YEAR, BUT I FOLLOW
COLLEGE BASKETBALL, AND I THINK THERE'S NO STICKS INVOLVED, FROM
MY RECOLLECTION.
>> Stephen: WHAT?
YOU DON'T GET A CHANCE TO HIT IT WITH A STICK IF SOMEONE TRIES TO
STOP YOU?
>> Jon: I THINK THAT'S ANOTHER GAME, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: WELL, WE SHOULD ADD SOME STICKS, MAN.
THAT WOULD MIX IT UP NICELY.
TWO OF THE GUYS -- I'M THINKING OF QUIDDITCH.
THOSE ARE THE BEATERS.
THAT'S THE BEATERS IN QUIDDITCH.
THE BEATERS HIT THE BLUDGER.
HOW'S YOUR QUIDDITCH BRACKET?
>> Jon: OH, STEVE, THAT'S ONE I DON'T HAVE TOGETHER YET.
>> Stephen: I'M PULLING FOR BULGARIA.
THAT VIKTOR CRUMB IS AMAZING.
HE USES THE BRONSKI MANEUVER TO PULL UP AT THE LAST MINUTE.
NO WAY IRELAND IS GOING TO BEAT HIM AT THE WORLD CUP.
>> Jon: WOW, I TRUST YOU.
>> Stephen: I FOLLOW IMAGINARY SPORTS, JOHN.
>> Jon: THAT'S GREAT.
I'M WITH IT.
>> Stephen: JON, DO YOU HAVE ANY SPRINGTIME MUSIC?
THIS IS THE FIRST SHOW WE'VE DONE WHEN IT'S OFFICIALLY
SPRING.
>> Jon: SPRING IN THE HOUSE.
>> Stephen: YEP.
♪♪♪ >> Stephen: I'D LOVE TO HAVE
HIM ON.
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
>> Jon: YOU WOULD HAVE A GREAT CONVERSATION A WITH HIM.
>> Stephen: I CAN'T WAIT.
IT'S ALREADY DONE.
IT'S DONE.
I WOULD LOVE TO DO IT.
JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY!
THANK YOU, JON!
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A COMEDY ICON AND ONE OF THE FUNNIEST
POPLE I HAVE EVER WORKED FOR, PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW,"
MR. DANA CARVEY.
HELLO, DANA CARVEY!
>> WE'RE GETTING A LITTLE SEISMIC HERE.
LET'S JUST RIDE IT THROUGH.
>> Stephen: YEAH, SURF THE MADNESS.
>> HI, STEPHEN, HOW ARE YOU.
>> Stephen: GOOD.
BRINGING THE ENERGY DOWN.
WE'VE HAD ENOUGH FUN, LET'S GET INTO IT.
>> THERE'S A PANDEMIC OUT THERE, DDAMMIT!
>> Stephen: DANA, YOU KNOW I HAVE QUESTIONS, I'M A
PROFESSIONAL BUT I WANT TO DRINK YOU IN.
LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
HOW IS YOUR WIFE AND BOYS?
MEV THING'S GOOD?
>> EVERYTHING IS GOOD.
I HAD PANDEMIC BRAIN A LITTLE EARLY ON.
>> Stephen: DID YOU GET THE PANDEMIC?
>> NO, I JUST GOT PANDEMIC BRAIN WHICH YOU HAVE A LOT OF THE
INCONSEQUENTIAL CONVERSATIONS WITH YOUR WIFE WHEN YOUR LIFE
SLOWS DOWN.
I WENT TO THE ELSON'S TODAY.
YESTERDAY THERE WAS SIX PEOPLE IN LINE, TODAY I WENT RIGHT IN.
SHE SAID, YEAH, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WILL BE TOMORROW?
THIS WENT ON FOR WEEKS.
FINALLY, I SAID, DO YOU WANT TO WATCH LOVE IT OR LIST IT BECAUSE
WE DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE GOING TO KEEP THE HOUSE, AND THEY
MIGHT SELL IT.
SHE GOES, YEAH, I'M IN, I'M ALL IN.
AND THEN WE GOT DOWN TO RAIN.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK IT RAINED -- WHEN WAS THE FIRST RAIN THIS YEAR?
WAS IT OCTOBER OR -- YEAH, SO THAT IS WHERE I WAS FOR ABOUT A
MONTH AND A HALF.
>> Stephen: I LOVE THAT, THOUGH.
I THINK THAT SOUNDS LIKE PARADISE TO ME.
I JUST LOVE THOSE KIND OF CONVERSATIONS.
>> REALLY?
>> Stephen: BECAUSE MY MIND CAN WANDER.
>> YOU NEED FOCUS.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
NO, BUT I LIKE TO KIND OF HAVE A CONVERSATION I CAN KIND OF DRIFT
AWAY IN.
EVIE WILL TELL YOU.
EVIE'S HERE.
DO YOU LIKE THOSE CONVERSATIONS HE JUST HAD WITH PAUL.
>> I DO.
>> Stephen: THOSE SOUND LOVELY.
NOT ALL OF MARRIAGE CAN BE MAKING LOVE ON A MOUNTAINTOP IN
A THUNDERSTORM, DANA.
>> MOST OF IT IS, THOUGH.
OH, NEWS FLASH.
LOOK, IT GETS SEXIER AS YOU GET OLDER, LET'S JUST LEAVE THAT
TOPIC ASIDE.
>> Stephen: 100%.
YOU'VE GOT TO UP THE ANTE.
PT IT THAT WAY.
>> Stephen: I'VE NEVER HAD IT UP THE ANTE.
>> WELL, I WASN'T GOING FOR THE PUN, I WAS JUST SAYING --
>> Stephen: YOU LEFT IT OPEN FOR ME.
>> YOU'RE LIKE BURGE ESDZ MEREDITH WHEN HIS GLASSES GOT
BROKE IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE, THERE'S TIME.
THERE'S TIME NOW.
>> Stephen: I FINALLY HAVE TIME FOR ALL MY PUNS.
>> PERFECT.
>> Stephen: EVERYBODY ENJOYS THEIR DANA CARVEY FROM KNOWING
YOU FROM TV AND THE FILMS.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: BUT YOU'VE BREACHED A NEW MEDIUM NOW, IT IS
THE NEW PODCAST, PUT IT ON THE CAMERA OVER HERE, HITS
"FANTASTIC! WITH DANA CARVEY."
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO GET INTO THE PODCAST
GAME, DANA?
>> I ALWAYS TOLD MY MANAGER, I SAID WHEN THERE'S 2 MILLION OF
THEM, COUNT ME IN.
I'M NOT JUST GOING TO JOIN A FAD.
( LAUGHTER ) NO, I GOT SOME STRUCTURE.
MY BRAIN WAS SLOWING DOWN, SO I THOUGHT, IF STEPHEN COLBERT CAN
DO FIVE HOURS OF TELEVISION A WEEK, I CAN TALK INTO A MIC FOR
45 MINUTES.
SO YOU WERE THE IMPETUS.
BUT MY SON, HE WAS THE ONE WHO SAID LET'S DO ONE WORD -- HE'S
IN HIS 20s -- LET'S DO ONE WORD, DON'T DO A FANCY THING
LIKE DANA WANTS THIS.
LET'S DO JUST ONE WORD.
I SAY FANTASTIC A LOT.
>> Stephen: SURE.
AND I USE IT IN PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE, IRONIC WAY
RATHER THAN NEGATIVE.
SO IF I'M DRIVING DOWN THE STREET AND SEE A YUPPY WANDERING
IN THE INTERSECTION CAUSING TRAFFIC AND MAIHEM ON THE CELL
PHONE, INSTEAD OF SAYING WHAT THE ( BLEEP ), I SAY FANTASTIC
>> Stephen: VERY HEALTHY.
IT'S VERY HEALTHY.
THERE'S MORE COVID VARIANTS -- FANTASTIC!
THAT'S THE IRONY.
THAT'S HOW YOU CAN USE IT.
IT'S FANTASTIC.
>> Stephen: I HAVE A SIMILAR THING.
MY SIMILAR THING IS THAT MY EXECUTIVE HERE TOM PURCELL AND I
HAVE A THING WHERE SOMEBODY SAYS, OH, THIS THING IS GOING TO
HAPPEN AND I DON'T LIKE IT, AND I GO, DO I HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER
THAT?
AND THEY SAY, NO.
THEN I SAY, I LOVE IT.
THEN I LOVE IT.
>> THAT'S IT.
I ALWAYS SAY SWEET CHEEKS WHEN I'M DRIVING AROUND, I SAY, LET'S
GO, SWEET CHEEKS, COME ON, SWEETHEART, COME ON, LET'S GO.
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE NEGATIVE AND ANGRY ALL THE TIME,
I'M HAPPY DANA!
DO YOU BELIEVE ME?
IT'S JUST ONE BIG PARTY.
>> Stephen: WHO'S YOUR CO-HOST?
WHO'S CHRIS RIOS?
I NEVER HEARD TO HAVE THIS PESON.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO TRUST HIM.
>> SHE'S NOT A PROFESSIONAL PERSON.
I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE ON MY
PODCAST.
SHE CUTS MY THEY HAVE.
NOT LATELY, DON'T BLAME HER.
SHE'S A BEAUTY EXPERT.
I NOTICED SHE HAD A REALLY GOOD LAUGH.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE JOHNNY CARSON, ED MCMAHON WAS SURPRISED WHEN
JOHNNY SAID I'D LIKE YOU TO BE MY SIDEKICK.
HE SAID, REALLY, ME?
AND JOHNNY KNEW IT WAS A LAUGH, AND LAUGH IS OXYGEN TO PEOPLE
LIKE US.
SHE'S THE SOUND TO THE PODCAST AND KEEPS IT LIGHT AND FUN,
WHICH IS A CONSCIOUS CHOICE ON MY PART BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE
COUNTRY NEEDED A REST.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.
WHEN WE COME BACK, EVIDENTLY DANA IS ABLE TO CHANNEL JOE
BIDEN THESE DAYS.
I WONDER WHAT MR. BIDEN HAS TO SAY.
♪♪♪