- YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED
AND HAD A CHILD.
TWO THINGS THAT YOU PROBABLY...
[cheers and applause]
- TWO THINGS THAT I SWORE I WOULD NEVER,
EVER DO AGAIN IN LIFE.
I MEAN, I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE
TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY.
AND I THOUGHT FOR SURE I HAD A NEED NEVER
TO GET MARRIED AGAIN.
- RIGHT.
- SO I'VE LEARNED NEVER TO SAY NEVER.
I MEAN, IT'S, YOU KNOW--
- LOVE CHANGES EVERYTHING.
- [sighs] YEAH. - YEAH.
- OR A BABY DOES, FOR SURE.
- YEAH, WELL, A BABY FOR SURE CHANGES EVERYTHING.
HOW OLD IS THE NEWEST ONE?
- SEVEN MONTHS.
- SEVEN MONTHS OLD.
- AND HE, SHE?
- HE. - HE.
HIS NAME IS?
- MACEO. MACEO MARTINEZ.
HE'S LIKE A RACE CAR DRIVER, RIGHT?
- HE WILL BE A RACE CAR DRIVER.
- YES.
- AND NAHLA IS YOUR DAUGHTER, RIGHT?
- RIGHT, SHE'S SIX. - SHE'S SIX.
AND IS SHE HAPPY ABOUT THE NEW ADDITION?
- SHE IS.
YOU KNOW, I THINK I TOLD YOU LAST TIME,
SHE PRAYED AND PRAYED FOR HIM
FOR, LIKE, A YEAR AND A HALF,
FOR A BABY AND A BUNK BED.
AND SHE GOT BOTH OF THOSE THINGS.
SO SHE'S JUST LIKE--
HE'S LIKE ONE OF HER DOLLIES THAT CAME TO LIFE.
YOU KNOW, AND ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS CHANGE HIS CLOTHES.
LIKE, SHE'LL PURPOSELY, LIKE, THROW SOMETHING ON HIS SHIRT
AND SAY, "OH, MOMMY, HE'S GOT TO CHANGE HIS SHIRT.
HE HAS A MESS ON HIM."
SHE JUST LIKES TO CHANGE HIS CLOTHES,
CHANGE HIS DIAPERS.
- DOES SHE DO THAT? DOES SHE CHANGE DIAPERS?
- YEAH.
- WOW. LUCK YOU.
- [laughs]
SHE'S A GOOD HELPER.
- THAT'S AMAZING.
AND SHE PROBABLY DID MAKE THAT HAPPEN IN SOME WAY,
SHE PRAYED SO LONG,
BECAUSE YOU REALLY DIDN'T THINK YOU
WERE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER CHILD.
- I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE AT MY AGE, HONESTLY.
- 'CAUSE YOU'RE, LIKE, 65, RIGHT?
- [laughs]
- YOU LOOK GREAT.
- DON'T I LOOK GREAT FOR 65?
- YOU REALLY DO.
- NO BOTOX HERE.
- YEAH, NO.
BUT, NO, IT'S NOT THAT OLD TO HAVE A BABY,
BUT PEOPLE DON'T USUALLY HAVE--
- THEY CALL IT A GERIATRIC PREGNANCY.
- NO, THEY DON'T.
- YEAH, THEY DO.
- 'CAUSE YOU'RE 40-WHAT, 42?
45?
59? 70?
- I'M 47.
- SOUNDS BETTER WHEN I GO WAY, WAY UP.
- I'M 47. - 47.
[cheers and applause]
GERIATRIC PREGNANCY.
- YEAH, AND I WAS, YOU KNOW, ON MY WAY--
THIS IS PROBABLY WAY TMI,
BUT I WAS REALLY, YOU KNOW,
KIND OF PREMENOPAUSAL, SO...
- WOW.
- TO HAVE THIS HAPPEN WAS A HUGE--
I MEAN, ONLY HER PRAYERS COULD HAVE DONE THIS.
- IT REALLY--IT SEEMS LIKE IT WAS HER PRAYERS, DOESN'T IT?
AND IS HE A GOOD BABY?
IS HE SLEEPING?
IS HE, LIKE, THIS MAGICAL LITTLE THING?
I MEAN, THEY ALL ARE, RIGHT?
- THEY ALL ARE, AND WE THINK HE IS IN OUR HOUSE.
BUT THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BOYS AND GIRLS.
YOU KNOW, I'M NURSING BOTH MY--
I BREAST FED NAHLA, AND I'M NURSING MY BABY.
AND WHEN I WOULD PUT NAHLA ON THE BOOB, SHE WOULD GO...
[makes sucking sound]
A NICE LITTLE GIRLY SUCK.
WITH HIM, IT'S LIKE...
[makes chomping sounds]
HE'S, LIKE, SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME.
[laughs]
SO I SEE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BOYS AND GIRLS--
- THAT WAS TMI, IN MY OPINION.
THAT--
BUT OKAY.
- I JUST WANT EVERYBODY TO KNOW
THAT I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE,
THAT BOYS AND GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT
FROM THE TIME THEY GET HERE.
- YEAH. - THEY REALLY, REALLY ARE.
- YEAH.
THEY SUCK DIFFERENTLY.
- THEY SUCK... [laughs]
JUST... [laughs]
THAT'S WHAT I GOT OUT OF THAT.
I DON'T KNOW.
- [laughs]
- NOW, DOES NAHLA UNDERSTAND
THAT SHE'S GOT A FANCY MOMMY ACTRESS,
THAT YOU GO AND DO THESE DIFFERENT CHARACTERS?
DOES SHE FULLY GRASP IT YET?
- NO, SHE DOESN'T REALLY QUITE GET WHAT I DO.
SHE'S BEEN TO SOME OF MY SETS,
BUT SHE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW WHERE THOSE THINGS GO.
LIKE, SHE'S NEVER SEEN ME ON TELEVISION.
SHE'S NEVER SEEN A FILM OF MINE.
BUT WHAT SHE REALLY THINKS I AM,
AND I HEARD HER TELLING THIS TO ONE OF HER FRIENDS.
SHE SAID TO HER FRIEND, YOU KNOW,
"MY MOMMY IS A REAL PRINCESS.
THAT'S WHAT SHE REALLY IS."
AND SHE THINKS THAT BECAUSE SHE SEES ME
DRESS UP IN PRETTY DRESSES AND LEAVE THE HOUSE.
AND SO I MUST BE A PRINCESS,
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I DO,
AND SHE THINKS THAT I'M JUST NOT TELLING HER.
BUT SHE THINKS I AM A REAL LIVE PRINCESS.
- YOU SHOULD LET HER CONTINUE TO THINK THAT.
YOU SHOULD GET, LIKE, IN A CARRIAGE ONE DAY
AND DRIVE OFF AND, YOU KNOW,
LIKE, REALLY MESS WITH HER UNTIL SHE'S ABOUT 20,
AND THEN...
- AND THEN TELL HER IT'S ALL NOT TRUE?
- AND THEN TELL HER, YEAH.