Hello.
Hi, Bill.
Hi.
I just heard from my producer that you have a ghost story.
Oh, yeah.
I have a ghost story, yeah.
I want to hear it
I was in a hotel in Ohio and--
all right!
Owners of the hotel are here!
And I was asleep And it felt like--
I heard a crash and it felt like when a cat or something
darts across a room and it knocked something over?
So I heard a crash and I got up and I put my feet down
and I could feel something--
my feet, and I turned on the light and it was dirt
and I had knocked over a plant.
So a plant had knocked over and I was like, well, that's weird.
And I looked around--
I thought somebody was in the room.
And then I went into the bathroom
and I looked in the sink and I could see my reflection
real vividly in the sink.
And I went like this into the sink and what it was,
it was filled to the brim with water right to the brim.
And when I went like this, all the water went and fell down.
And then so I just stayed up all night
and watched "SportsCenter."
It went into the drain?
It was like filled up to the top.
And when I went like--
you could just touch it lightly and it all came out like that.
And I told the guy who worked there, I was like, hey,
I had this weird thing happen.
He like, oh, yeah that room's haunted.
Next time you tell someone when you get the room.
You do it afterwards.
You want the haunted room or not-haunted room?
I'd be like, I prefer the not-haunted one, Jethro.
Yeah, I bet you did stay up all--
and nothing happened while you were awake, then?
No.
No, I think whatever the--
it was probably the ghost of a cat, is what I thought.
I see.
Cats I'd love to turn faucets off.
Yeah, yeah they do, like, meow, meow, meow, meow.
[LAUGHTER]
Do they have to make the noise when they turn the faucet?
Yeah, don't they always?
They always make the meow, meow, meow.
Meow, meow, meow.
That's how they just talk.
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Meow, meow.
You clearly don't have a cat.
I don't know a cat, yeah.
You should know one.
I hear that you're somehow committed to working out
in a way that you--
I'm looking at you and I'm trying to figure out
that you work out.
That's what I heard that you're into really--
Well, for "Barry," because I have to play a Marine.
And I remember when I got the show.
Alec Berg, the co-creator of the show--
I went, all right we're going to do it-- and he was like, cool,
you got to go to a gym.
Because I play a Marine.
And I work with this great trainer Kim, who's hilarious.
Sounds like you're just making that up.
Yeah, yeah.
Kim?
No, her name is Kim Waldauer and she's awesome.
And she just beats me up.
And then when I realized I just turned 40 and you can't--
things just stop working around 38.
I was able to run and then one day at 38 it was like, no.
My knees just gave up on me.
Yeah.
You do have to-- it's weird, you have
to start taking care of yourself at a certain age.
I don't like it.
I don't like it, either.
And congratulations on-- you have like something
like 13 nominations for the show.
You won an Emmy.
Henry won an Emmy
Yeah, yeah.
Henry won one.
It was so great that you-- and I love Henry so much.
He's just the greatest guy.
The sweetest guy in world.
He is.
How great is that the show not only
is hilarious-- and fun to work on I'm sure--
but that you're both recognized like that?
Oh it was great, you know?
And Yeah and to be up there with Henry.
And also, Henry-- at the Emmy after-party Henry was partying.
He's crazy.
He was really into it, really loving it and stuff.
And I'm kind of more of like I was
trying to learn how to lift weights still in the corner.
So tell people what-- because then I
want to know how you came up with this idea
because you kind of co-created it and wrote this--
but tell everyone who you play and who Henry plays.
I play Barry.
Everybody's like, oh, really?
I play Barry-- he's a former Marine who he now
works as a low-rent hit man.
He's kind of depressed.
And so he comes to Los Angeles to kill a guy
and he follows the guy to his acting class.
And the acting class is run by Henry Winkler
and my character decides he'd like a change in his life.
So he decides he's going to take the class and become an actor.
And he's not a very good actor.
Right.
So what made you--
I mean, it's just such a unique idea for a show.
Did you know much about hit men?
And how did you look into this?
Yeah I'm going to reveal it here!
No, no, no.
I didn't know much of anything about any of that stuff.
There's a character in the show called NoHo Hank who's
this Chechen heavy guy.
Yeah, here he is.
Anthony Carrigan plays him.
And the way that we came up with that character was my character
goes to this big Chechen gangster guy named Goran Pazar
and we go oh he should have like a lieutenant kind of guy.
And so we initially were writing it just kind of like a thing
you've seen a lot-- you know, kind of like a angry guy--
kind of a scary guy.
But my computer wasn't working.
So I couldn't write.
So I had to take it to the Genius Bar at the Apple Store.
And the guy there was so nice and so cool that I came back
and I was like, oh, let's make him a guy from the Genius Bar,
basically.
That kind of hospitable--
because you know when you're at the Genius Bar
you're really mad because your computer doesn't work.
And they're just like, oh yeah, sure man.
I can help you with that.
While you wait, we have a Starbucks across the street
if you'd like to go over there.
I figured out what's wrong with your Mac-- you spilled syrup
all over it.
And I'm like, I did?
That's why it's not working.
I'm like, you're a genius.
It's great.
All right, it's a very funny show.
And you won the Emmy-- so says how good it is.
We're going to take a break and we'll be right back with Bill.
We're back with Bill Hader.
We're talking about how people--
during the commercial break and before the show-- people
come down here and dance and how bold it is.
It's super bold.
And I really applaud you for doing
that because I would never--
I'm in my dressing room watching you guys dance,
I was like I would never have the guts to go down there
and do that.
No, it's awesome.
No, they come down-- not only do they dance but a lot of them
turn around so the audience sees the backside of them,
which is--
Yeah!
I noticed that.
I like it.
All right, we're going to--
I have this bowl.
I don't know where it came from--
Bowl of Interesting Questions.
That's what it says right there.
And so I thought I will read some.
And I don't know what they are.
Oh boy.
And we'll see if they're interesting
and if you want to answer them.
If you could only say one word the rest of your life,
what would it be?
[BEEP]
OK.
That could be good or bad.
That works positively and negatively.
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Oh, I don't know.
The superpower to pick up a check--
maybe-- at a restaurant, maybe?
I always-- other people pay, usually.
I'm an [BEEP].
Superpower to kind of be like, I'll get this.
I never do that.
No, I'm joking.
Because people do it before you or you just avoid it?
No, I just am like, you should get this.
I drove all the way to the East Side for you,
so you pay for the meal.
Yeah, I never go to the East Side.
That's the ticket.
I have a five-mile radius.
I only stay--
I won't go to the East Side.
I mean, there are people like, there's such a good restaurant
there.
I'm like, I'm not going to the East Side.
That side of 405, no thanks.
Just like Californians.
How'd you get there?
No way.
Who was your first celebrity crush?
Oh, Phoebe Cates in "Gremlins."
Yeah.
I don't know if you guys remember "Gremlins."
Everyone goes, "Fast Times."
No, it was "Gremlins."
Massive crush.
All right.
Everybody, write that down.
If you could be someone else for the day, who would it be?
Ellen!
Yeah?
You'd like to be me?
I'd like to do this.
I wish I had the balls to do this.
Do you want to do this one day?
I wish I could--
Seth Meyers, you, my friends who do this-- and I'm always
like, how do you?
I don't know.
It's just a real skill.
It's awesome.
We hope so.
No, it's really cool.
Yeah.
But I think you'd be great at it.
It's fun it's just being interested in other people
and talking to them.
Then you have to listen.
Like that.
What?
What'd you say?
I want to do what you do.
If you could be a contestant on any game show or reality show,
which would it be?
I don't know.
I don't know-- I mean, I would like to be on "Survivor" just
to camp, you know?
I think it'd be fun just to camp and make a game out
of it, right?
Isn't that what that show--
I've never seen "Survivor."
What's the one thing you forget to do more often than anything
else?
I don't know.
I forget people's names
Oh, yes!
I do do that.
Yeah, we actually did a sketch about it
on SNL called "What's That Name?"
which was about a character--
it was a game show we would do where it was
the contestant would come out--
and it would be two contestants.
I was like, all right--
so, First Person, for $5, who's this?
And it'd be a picture of Madonna.
And they would go, Madonna!
Right.
Good.
For $10, who's this?
And it's Bugs Bunny.
Bugs Bunny, good.
I go, now, for $1 million who is this?
And it's Kenan Thompson.
He's like, I'm your doorman.
I've worked with you for 20 years.
What's my name?
[LAUGHTER]
That's good.
That's my nightmare.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
We just did-- John Mulaney hosted-- we just did that.
That's hilarious.
I don't like that question.
Last one-- better be a good one.
That's not good, either.
Last one.
Who or what makes you laugh the hardest?
Oh man who makes me laugh the hardest?
Martin Short.
He is hilarious.
Martin Short makes me laugh.
When I was growing up watching SCTV and movies like "Father
of the Bride" and all those things
he made me laugh so hard.
And then as a person--
and now I'm very lucky that he's a friend of mine--
hanging out with him.
He makes me laugh harder than anybody I've ever met.
He's very, very funny.
They had a-- anyway, go ahead--
No, no, finish.
I cut off he was like I was like, wait no, I have more.
It's so worth it.
No, I was at a friend's birthday party
and they had a really sweet card for them that
was very earnest, sweet card.
And everybody signed it, hey man, Happy Birthday.
And it was all very sweet and Marty Short signed it,
best pizza in town.
[LAUGHTER]
Like, just not paying attention.
He's a funny guy.
All right.
New episodes of "Barry" air every Sunday night on HBO.
We'll be right back.
Thank you.
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel
so you can see more awesome videos--
like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,
like ball peen hammer and also some videos
of Ellen and other celebrities-- if you're
into that sort of thing.
[SCREAMS]