Hi guys...I think I'm dying
*blows nose loudly and then repeated in slow motion*
I've got a cold. Well it's actually more than a cold
This is some serious MAN FLU
Sirius
And I've been in bed all day feeling sorry for myself then I thought "Why not make a video?"
As the MOTH MAN! No, haha
I don't know, I don't even what this video's going to be about
Just don't come too close to the screen as you might catch something
*sniffs*
Maybe I should do the illness dance
*exciting illness dance music*
But yeah, a couple of things I need while I'm ill
This gigantic hoodie to make me look like a elf
About 800 mugs of tea and coffee
And an entire day feeling sorry for myself in bed watching DVDs and refreshing Tumblr
That's actually not that different to yesterday, but, shhhh
*cough/gags*
Also last night I watched "Taken" with Liam Neeson but then I kept slipping into these weird hallucination dreams
of Liam Neeson abducting my Lemsip
And then he turned into 'Lemon Neeson'
*unacceptable*
And then I woke up shivering and had to pee
TMI
Another weird dream involved me presenting this children's TV show with Sweep from 'Suttie and Sweep'
Do you remember Sweep? *in high voice* Sweep!
And yeah, at the end of the show I was like 'Thanks for coming to the show Sweep!'
And then I lifted him up to reveal these horrific robotic wires coming from his insides
So then all the children started screaming and were like *in horrified/surprised voice* SWEEP!! WHYYYY
I don't, I don't even wanna know
I also got this ultra-chloraseptic anesthetic throat spray which numbs fast
So, I thought I would use it now
*spray sound followed by coughing*
Ow! That's burning! That's not numbing!
Ooh! Apparently it has a possible side effect of Methemoglobinemia
I wonder what that does to you...
Symptoms of Methemoglobinemia include development delay, failure to thrive, mental retardation and seizures
Complications involve shock, seizures, and death
*yayyyy!!!*
Okay, I'm kinda regretting using that now
*spray thing drops and Phil dies :(*
Just kidding
Although I can't be bothered getting up now
Is anyone else sick at the moment? What do you do to make yourself feel better. Let me knowww
Another thing I wanted to tell you is that we had a mouse in the house!
*singing* House mouse!
Dan saw it first after playing 12 hours solid of Guild Wars 2
Yea, he wasn't sure if he actually saw a real mouse or was hallucinating some tiny Guild Wars monster
But then our Irish friend Adam was staying over
And at about 3 o'clock in the morning I heard him scream
*in a Irish accent* O my god it's a mause!
I love how Irish people say mouse. *in Irish accent* Mouse!
So, I bought this humane mouse trap. I ain't killing no mouse
And, yeah, they walk up this seesaw and then get trapped in there and I filled it with Kinder eggs so they would have something to eat
So yeah, we went to Manchester for the weekend, and when we got back there was an actual mouse in the trap
It was SO cute, it looked like this
*meep meep*
I kinda wanted to keep him but Wikipedia was like HE WILL DISEASE YOUR FACE
So, I decided to release him into the wild
So I put him in a tea container and took him outside and was like 'Be free mouse!'
And then his little face looked up at me and said 'Thank you Phillip'
And then he skuttled into the distance
I will never forget
I also wanted to tell you I had a strange experience with a one-eyed man yesterday
I got to the ticket gate at the Tube and I was being a usual Phil fail and lost my Oyster card
So I was like 'Where is it? Where is it??'
And then I realized that this guy was behind me and so I was like 'Oh sorry!'
When he said...
*rough voice* Why did you say sorry boy
*normal Phil voice* Um, because I got in your way?
*rough voice again* Never be too polite, BOY or people will take advantage of you
*Phil again* Oh my god, please, don't take advantage of me
Then he punched me in the arm! Like, pretty hard!
Mm hmm!
*in slow motion* Mm hmm!
Ow!
*rough guy voice is back* I'll kick the barrier for you down if you want, BOY
...help...
*running away music*
So yeah, just as many crazies in London as there as in Manchester *whoop!*
Also, if you haven't seen yet, I do a weekly live show on YouNow, and I'm doing another Totoro giveaway
If you want to win one of these babies all you need to do is click the link below, sign in with Facebook, and click 'Become a fan' of my YouNow
And then you'll be able chat to me when I go live and you'll be notified of any secret shows
If you're already a fan then you'll still be included and I'll be announcing the winner on my Twitter next week
*whoop boop boop!*
Today's Draw Phil Naked is....
*cool Draw Phil Naked music*
Anyway, I'm gonna go, I'll be back soon with a proper video when I'm hopefully less dead
Please thumbs up if you've enjoyed this more relaxed, vloggy style video and I'll make more in the future
And I will see you guys very soon
Bye guys :)
*ughh*
*door swings open* Dan: RAWWRRR!!
P: Aah!
D: Bye guyssss
*Dan makes weird noises*
*end screen music*
*in that rough guy voice* I'll kick the barrier for you do-
I'll kick th-
*normal voice* Damn it!
I'll kick the b-
Agh!
I'll kick the barrier for you b-
Nooooo