Good morning Thiago. Hi.
So, how's it going? What? Say it again.
Um... I asked how's it going... I want you to send me the documents now
because I'll start my presentation, so I need to...
Have you ever been in a situation where the other person thought you were being impolite when that
really wasn't your intention? Or perhaps you've never been in that situation, but you'd like to
avoid it. You might be wondering "Why do I need to learn how to be polite in English?"
Well, learning how and when to use polite English might help you avoid uncomfortable situations and
might even make you more successful in academic and business settings. In today's lesson we'll
help you learn more about polite English so that you don't make the same mistakes Thiago did. We'll
look at why politeness matters, how you can be more polite in English and we'll also do a quiz to
see how polite you are. But before we get started, if you're new here welcome! Every week we create
lessons like this to help English learners go from feeling like lost and insecure English learner,
to being confident and natural English speakers. If that sounds like something you want to do, then
join our community of over 370 000 learners by hitting that subscribe button and bell down below
so you never miss out on any of our new lessons. Polite English. Why does it matter?
When we're hanging out with our friends and family we often use informal English which is usually
less polite than the English used in business situations or when we're trying to show respect.
For example, if you made a mistake at work, you might say to your boss "I would like to apologize
for any inconvenience caused." On the other hand, if you made a mistake with your friends
and family, you might just say "I'm so sorry about that." One of the main reasons polite English is
so important is that it's often seen as a sign of respect towards the other person. You can use
this when you're at work, at school or meeting new people. You'll also appear more professional and
likable which could lead to more success at school or work. Okay so let's move on to how can you be
more polite in English. So you might already know the basics like saying please and thank you,
but there's more to being polite than that. Let's start by learning from Thiago's mistakes.
Tip number one: body language. Whether you're on a call or face to face, when it comes to being
polite, your body language, tone and attitude are all important. Many experts agree that 60
to 90 percent of our communication is non-verbal, which means that it's not just what you say, but
how you say it. That matters in western countries including the UK and US maintaining eye contact
with the speaker shows that you are interested in what they're saying. This also includes
listening and not interrupting the speaker. Mirroring is also a good way of communicating
politeness and agreement during a conversation. To mirror means to copy or have similar body
language to the other person. This usually puts the speaker at ease and shows them that you are
on the same page emotionally. For example, if they smile and seem enthusiastic, you could smile too.
However if they seem sad, it might seem rude if you start laughing and being playful. If you'd
like to practice your body language and mirroring, why not do so with the speaking partner? And you
can find one using our RealLife English app. This is the only place where anytime, anywhere,
at the press of a button you can connect with other English learners from around the world.
You can have fascinating conversations about your hobbies, your passions, your culture,
even the latest RealLife English lessons. You could talk about absolutely anything.
So download it now for free by clicking up here or down in the description below,
or visit your favorite app store and search for RealLife English.
Tip number two: use questions instead of statements.
Instead of telling someone to do something, you can turn your statement into a question.
Using questions makes you sound nicer and more considerate of the other person. Even if you need
something done right away, making it a question will make the other person more willing to help.
Also pay attention to your tone when making requests. If you want to sound more polite you can
use the rising tone in your request for help in some of your sentences and questions. Most likely
if it's a request it will end in please which must be pronounced with a rising tone. Instead of "say
it again", you could say "could you repeat that please." Or "could you say that again please?"
Tip number three: use modal verbs to soften requests. I've already mentioned that using
questions is more polite than using statements, however questions can be made even more polite
with the use of modal verbs. Modal verbs such as would, could, should, shall and might make
any question or statement sound more polite. Instead of "I want the stapler" you could say
"I would like the stapler, please." Before you continue watching, why not pause the video and
let us know down in the comments if you would like to learn more about modal verbs. Share your answer
below and don't forget to add an encouraging message to the other members of the community.
So, those tips were related to the mistakes Thiago made. But here are a few more.
Tip number four: add some explanation. When you're communicating at work or school,
it's often a good idea to add an explanation.
If you're asking someone to do something for you or you're explaining a problem, people often feel
better when they know a few details. To add your explanation, you can use words or phrases like so,
because, therefore or that's why. Instead of saying "finish this presentation by tomorrow",
you could say "the client is coming tomorrow, so I would like you to finish the presentation by
then." Instead of saying "I didn't want to go to your party", you could say "I didn't want to go
to your party because I was really sick." Tip number five: use the passive voice.
When something goes wrong at work or in a formal setting, the passive voice becomes very important.
This is great for polite English because you can address a problem or issue without directly
putting the blame on a particular person. This will definitely save you from seeming mean.
Instead of "Joe gave me the wrong information", you can say "I was given the wrong information."
Instead of saying "Sue broke the computer, so I couldn't complete my work",
you could say "the computer was broken, so I couldn't complete my work."
Tip number six: use common polite phrases. Here are a few polite phrases
that you can use at work or in formal situations when dealing with a problem.
Instead of saying "I already told you this", you could say "as I mentioned previously."
Instead of saying "you must do this", you could say "thanks in advance for your help."
Now let's do a quick quiz to see if you're able to spot
which of these sentences is polite and which isn't.
This would depend on your tone, but despite the word please,
it still sounds too direct and might imply that you think the person is often late.
This is too direct. Explaining why the answer is "no" might help you sound more polite.
This sounds very demanding. It helps to turn the statement into a question
and use modal verbs and in this case we'd use "could."
In formal and business situations, blaming someone for the problem is
impolite. The passive voice is a way to avoid naming the subject.
Did you get all of the answers correct? If not, don't worry. You can always watch this lesson
again and retake the test. To recap, here are the tips we covered in today's lesson.
Tip number one: body language is an important part of being polite.
Tip number two: use questions instead of statements.
Tip number three: use modal verbs to soften requests.
Tip number four: add some explanation to your statements.
Tip number five: use the passive voice. Tip number six: use some common polite phrases.
Also if you have any questions about today's lesson, head over to our Instagram
@reallife.english. Be sure to check out our stories. Every Monday and Friday you'll find
a question box where you can share your thoughts or questions about the lesson.
Be sure to follow us on Instagram so you can continue your learning with us.
If you enjoyed today's lesson, then be sure to watch this one next.