it's the year 2560 and the world's gone
crazy aliens are everywhere we're
traveling through space and best of all
there's a brand new sport in town an
intense mix of high speed racing with
anti-gravity techno whatsis this is
f-zero so much better than NASCAR
you seem pretty chipper well yeah zero
friggin awesome why don't we have this
in real life yet probably because it's
extraordinarily dangerous on the f-zero
Grand Prix one wrong turn can end your
life
yeah what's your problem the ones that
survive are the best of the best
including the champ himself Captain
Falcon so most of the world Falcon is a
legendary racer at household name but
that's about it otherwise he's a mystery
like Batman sort of off the track
Captain Falcon is actually an
accomplished bounty hunter dedicated to
a mission of saving the universe from
the vile forces of black shadow they're
like a heavy metal band or something no
well then black shadow is a cold blooded
king of crime determined to bend the
universe to his will he's also good
horrible taste in style how often do you
think that thing gets caught on door
frames truly the most evil of evils to
take on black shadow Falcons a goddamn
badass he's super tough and super
skilled in martial arts best of all he's
got a bunch of fiery super moves the
speedy falcon kick the unpredictable
Raptor boost and Falcon dive where he
helps people so hard they explode what
just call it like I see it whiz either
way as impressive as these techniques
are they pale in comparison to his
greatest and most famous Wow God
he literally punches people so hard they
explode and burn shaped fire which is
awesome but how
an excellent question and well it's
never been thoroughly explained the
answer may lie within his sleek f-zero
machine the blue falcon alright enough
for now is all this f-zero tuck has made
me want to go do something really
responsible with my truck please don't
try the donut flip again it can't
possibly fail the sixtieth time good
luck and come back next week for the
full episode of Johnny Cage versus
Captain Falcon