How to form better connections with men.
In today's video, I'm going to show you why so many of us are struggling
to find quality connections, and it's an important lesson we
all must learn about strength and courage. Don't forget to download the first chapter
of my book from the link below and I'll see you in just a second.
[Music]
Welcome to today's video, and we are talking about how to form better connections with
men. So I was inspired to do this video by a meme that I saw on Facebook.
I'm going to flash it up on the screen now.
There it is for you. It says when he's sensitive and can open up
about his feelings but also has a dominant side,
so you get the best of both worlds.
I thought this was a fascinating meme and it was shared by a lot of women,
and I'm sure you can agree that if you were to find a man who had this balance
who was able to be sensitive and open up about his feelings,
but also had that dominant side, you'd feel like,
"wow, I've got a, I've got a rare one here. This is, this is pretty fricking cool."
I found this meme fascinating because what it really demonstrates is something that I
coach a lot of but don't necessarily talk about directly.
You see, when I created the words for my company to represent what I do,
the words I chose were empowerment through self esteem,
growth and authenticity.
I felt these were the three words that best represented what I did,
but two words that I left out interestingly were
strength and courage,
which is even more interesting because that's usually the feedback that my
clients get. My clients often get told by their friends
and they tell me that this is what they've heard,
"Wow, you're so much stronger and more confident now you've worked with Mark, "
or "You're so much more courageous and open now you've worked with Mark."
This is beautiful, beautiful feedback that I hear my clients get from their friends
and family members all the time,
and yet I didn't choose either of these words to represent my core
values and there's a reason for that.
When you Google both of these words, you find something interesting.
Google "strong" and you find the definition,
"having the power to move or lift heavy weights or perform other
physically demanding tasks or able to withstand force pressure or wear."
On the other hand, when you Google the definition of "courage,"
you find "the ability to do something that
frightens one and strength in the face of pain or grief."
In other words, strength is the ability to push back against the force.
In a coaching sense, it might be the ability
to push back against a toxic relationship, pushed back against the toxic person,
put your boundaries in place.
Courage, on the other hand, is the ability to do something
that frightened someone.
So it might be opening up about feelings. It might be being more vulnerable.
It might be taking that risk on the person that maybe you're scared you don't deserve.
Let's get back to that original meme.
There it is again, "When he's sensitive and can open up about his feelings
but also has a dominant side, so you get the best of both worlds."
On the one world, on the one hand, you have the dominant side, the strength,
the ability of a man to push back against a force.
This makes you feel safe and secure
when you're with him because you know he has the boundaries to keep you safe
and to have the strength of character to make his mark on the world.
But a lot of men who have this struggle with this other side which is opening up.
The other side of this meme you can see
is based much more on courage - the ability to open up, to be sensitive.
For a lot of men opening up about feelings is frightening.
They're judged for it. They're not sure if there are enough of a man for it,
and it takes a lot of courage for a man to open up about his feelings.
That rare man has both, and here's the real truth bomb of this video.
Men are looking for the exact same thing.
In fact, I was so inspired by the original meme that I made my own.
There it is, "When she's driven and calls you on your bullshit, but also has a
vulnerable and submissive side."
Men are looking for exactly what you're looking for.
They're looking for the balance between strength and courage.
The reason I didn't put these as my core values is the fact that depending
on who you are, you might need one or the other.
Do you need more strength?
Do you need to get better at putting your boundaries in place,
at pushing against forces, at stopping toxic relationship or toxic people in your life?
Or do you actually need more courage?
Do you actually need to let more people in?
Do you need to make yourself more vulnerable
and let someone take control some of the time?
Only you can answer that question
and only you will know what it is for you. But the take home point of this video
is this, you need strength and you need courage,
and you need that balance of both to be the best woman you can be.
Men are looking for exactly what you're looking for.
They're looking for someone who's balanced and they're looking for that
prize that's right in the middle.
So think about how you can work on yourself and what you can grow
and foster in your own life to become a stronger, more courageous woman.
Well, thank you so much for watching.
Let me know your thoughts, comments, questions.
I hope you enjoyed the video. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it
and how you could relate to the content. Let me know in the section below.
Don't forget to download the first chapter of the book that is now available,
and I'm really excited for you to rate it.
So get that from the description as well. Give the video a thumbs up,
hit that subscribe button and the little bell, so you get the notifications,
and I'll see you in the next video really soon.
[Music]