- Why are we not just drinking this all the time still?
Why did I ever stop? - We'll find out.
I think we're gonna find out. - Yeah.
Maybe we'll see after this one.
- Throughout this video. - I'll be like--
(woman laughing)
(woman burping)
(both laughing)
- You're lucky that didn't have vomit.
♪ Ave Maria ♪
- [Woman] What is goon?
- Goon is a sack of wine. - Goon.
- Usually quite cheap.
That Aussies like to drink. - Yes.
- When they're quite young.
- But they're like the training wheels for wine.
- Yeah.
- You can have goon,
and pretend that you can sit at the adult table.
- Yeah.
- When really you're probably sitting
in like a car park somewhere,
waiting for the cops to show up.
- And it comes in a box.
- Now this is what a goon bag looks like,
for those of the uninitiated out there.
- Ah.
- You can finish the thing,
blow up the bag,
and use it as a pillow.
- Wow.
- Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.
- Goon.
- Then open your mouth.
- Oh, just gonna...
(woman retching)
- So we're gonna be giving every goon a ranking,
from Super God,
God,
Ok,
Meh,
and Nah.
- And we're gonna see which goon,
is the best goon of all the goons.
- Kill me.
(woman laughing)
- Alrighty, Golden Oak Fruity white!
- Oh my gosh, what a gentleman.
- It's kinda to pour.
- [Woman] I'm just gonna start slow.
- Yeah, I think that's a great idea.
Jokes, cheers, cheers, cheers.
All right (sniffs).
You gotta get the tannins.
- Oh, the key is not to smell it.
- Yeah, 'cause it smells.
It does smell a bit shit, actually.
- Oof (laughs).
All right, let's go.
- Oh, that's not bad.
- That's not too bad.
- Uh, yum.
- That goes down like a real treat.
- That's actually okay. - Yeah.
- It actually doesn't taste anything like it smells.
- You know how, when you drink wine sometimes,
and it like burns when it goes down?
- Yeah.
- This is smooth as.
- Oh, so smooth with like a hint of like sweet.
- Very, very good.
- Would I drink four liters of it?
No, I wouldn't.
- This is a Super God.
- Okay, I'll go Super God as well.
You've convinced me. - Nice.
- I'm gonna go God.
Delish.
- [Woman] Sonata Estate.
- So it's a dry one,
which I don't understand. - I'm--
- Because it's literally liquid.
- That means it's gonna be not nice.
- Really?
- It's the sweetness that makes it easier to drink.
- You know a lot about goon.
You know a lot about goon.
- Oh, thank you so,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
(laughs) Not too much!
- It's got great legs.
Look at that.
Just dripping down from the sides.
- Is that a thing? As well?
- Yeah.
Wine legs or something?
Like see the drips? - Yeah.
- Down the side of the glass?
Like the more of those it has,
the better the wine is or some shit.
- Oh! - I don't know.
- Okay, well this looks to be pretty good then.
- No, there's like three of them.
- Oh, so not enough.
- So I think it's bad.
- Bad!
- Yeah, that's not good.
- Tastes like water. - Yeah.
- Like this tastes like cordial.
- Yeah.
- Now that I think about it,
like I actually don't mind it.
Like I think I like it maybe.
So I'm gonna give this a God.
- I'm gonna give this an OK.
- I think this is gonna get a Meh from me.
It's not a Nah. - Yeah, it's a Meh.
- Because it's very--
- A Nah is truly like (retches), like--
- Yeah, yeah.
- Walker Grove.
- We've just traveled to the forest.
To the Grove.
- This looks fancy!
- Yeah.
- Ooh!
- (gagging) No.
- Oh, no see I like that.
- It's too like, "AH!"
- A bit on the acidic side I'd say.
- It is.
It has a more nuanced savory flavor.
- Actually, this tastes like a wine I'd get at a restaurant.
I reckon. - I though you hated it.
- Are we drinking it because it tastes good?
- No, no.
- So we're drinking it for a purpose,
like you said.
- Yeah, see that's what I'm judging it off.
How fucked up can I get?
- This would be paired fantastically
with some two-minute noodles.
- Super God.
- Yeah!
Send it.
- Yeah. - Super God.
- It's okay.
- I wouldn't say that this is premium,
compared to the other ones we've had.
- So, Ok, Ok.
- Okay.
- I'm starting not to feel good.
Okay, Trendyana.
- Trendyana!
- [Woman] Someone had a graphic designer!
You know.
- This is cool. - Yeah, very cool.
- You gotta have the same amount now.
- That is the same.
(glasses clinking)
- More.
That's so, oh my God.
This is so bad.
Okay, this doesn't taste like goon.
- No.
- It's dry. - It's dry.
- It's tart, it's like--
- But it's still quite easy to drink.
- Yeah.
- I would describe as unpleasant.
- This can go in God.
- I'm putting this in Ok.
- I think that might be a Nah.
- I'm also gonna go Nah.
- This is vegan!
- [Woman] Is wine not vegan? - No.
- What's in it?
- They use sometimes fish bits in wine.
- Yeah. - I think in the processing.
- Fish scales or milk?
Oh no, sorry.
I think it's egg.
Egg white.
Like get certain parts of the wine out that you don't want.
- Oh no.
- It's not amazing, is it?
- No.
- That hit as soon as it-- - What is that?!
- As soon as it hits your mouth,
it's just like, "AH!"
Like it's really intense.
- This is a classic goon,
where it doesn't taste particularly good.
- This is getting Nah.
- Yeah, I think I gotta give it a Meh.
It's just a really weird flavor.
- I think it's Meh.
- It's a Nah for me.
I just can't, I just can't. - It's a Nah?
- This is like a legit winery.
- [Man] Yeah, it's legit.
- [Woman] See, I'm excited about that.
- Ooh!
Like heavy duty!
- Yeah, alright.
You ready for this Semillion Savi B, mate?
- Okay.
- Oh, this is nice.
- Okay. - It's alright.
- That's like making me feel alive.
- It was a bit sweeter.
- Yeah. - I think that's the key.
It needs to be a little bit sweet.
- A little bit sweet.
- 'Cause I don't like sweet wine.
- No. - But in goon?
- Goon, give it to me. - Gimme some sweetness.
- I'm giving this a Super God.
- Fuck yeah, let's go Super God.
- I think this is just Ok.
- It's Ok.
- And that's really all there is to it folks.
- It's not much. - Thanks for tuning in.
That's been goon with Tom Scott.
(woman burping)
- You're lucky that didn't have vomit.
- Oh God, okay.
(man mumbling)
- Coolerbah is a classic.
- Please, audience.
Tell us the truth.
Is this Fruity Lexia?
- [Woman] No.
- I think it is though.
- Oh, that is sweet.
- That is so sweet. - Sweet!
I kind of like it.
- Yeah, of course you do.
- It's not too bad, isn't it?
- Oh, that's delightful. - Oh! Oh!
- It's too sweet for me.
But the fact that I think it might be Fruity Lexia,
but it also might not be,
gets points for that.
- I could down this.
- You could down it, yeah. - Like apple juice.
- Okay, so this gets a God.
- This gets a God, yep.
- This is a God, but like a high God.
- I'm going Super God.
- Oh!
- [Narrator] And the winner is Golden Oak!
- [Woman] Oh yes!
- Well done, Golden Oak.
- Fucking nailed it.
- Well done.
- If you like these videos--
- Comment your favorite person in the video.
- It's not me, I know.
You have a mullet,
what am I supposed to do?
- I don't really have a mullet.
- How am I supposed to compete with that?
What, do you want me to grow one?
- Just a couple of Sheila's in the studio.
- Drinking some goon. (woman mumbling)
- Goon.
- [Woman] (retches) Goon.
(light upbeat music)