Dar Dixon, Actor: I wanted to get a day job (this was 20 some odd years ago).
I’d had a business with my folks.
I was a small print and copy shop.
I knew nothing about it but I took all the failures of my other business and did the
opposite of that and did really well with it and we were able to raise the business
up quite a bit and drive and make it much more profitable and my folks were able to
sell off and retire.
And so I thought I’ll go see about this copier job.
I went to this company (it shall remain nameless) and for an interview I walked in and she said
“Just fill out the application.
Mr. X will see you shortly.”
And I said “Oh, that’s okay I don’t fill out the application.
I’ve already got my C.V. with me.”
She just kind of looked at me.
I sat down, waited and had a chance to go sit down with Mr. X (really nice man).
The job was just terrible.
They were going to give me the worst (I knew what they were going to do) they were going
to give me the worst territory and it’s going to be business-to-business sales and
I’m going to try to get them to buy copiers from this company and the pay was going to
be nothing.
There wasn’t going to be a car allowance or cell phone allowance or laptop allowance
or insurance or any benefits or medical or dental or anything and I was like “I get
it I know the drill.”
But I’ll show my worth and things will change.
We’d done this listening exercise in an acting class I was doing at the time and it
was really mind-blowing when we did it (for me it was) because I had an experience with
the actress that I was working with that night and I just watched this whole shift occur
in her.
I didn’t say anything.
She was just talking and I was just listening with 100 percent focus.
Which by the way, just doing that, it’s exhausting the first time you do it.
But it was also really interesting and liberating.
I thought I’m going to try that today.
So I’m sitting in this interview and we say a few pleasantries back and forth and
he says “Well tell me about yourself?”
And I go “Well there’s a lot I could say about myself but I would really like to hear
what your biggest challenges are?
Who has been great at this job?
Who has not been great at this job?
Anything you can share about that would be really helpful to me.
I don’t want to waste your time.
I certainly wouldn’t dream of wasting your time.”
I think that was like the totality of what I said.
And then I didn’t say another word for 45 minutes.
And he just started to talk.
I could see in his mind “What the heck is this?”
Right?
Film Courage: Who is this man?
Dar: Yes, who is this guy, right?
Which it was actually a really smart movie.
I wasn’t trying to be smart or anything like that or saying I’m necessarily smart.
But all I did for the next 45 minutes is “Mm-hmm…Oh really?…Wow.”
But I was actively listening.
There are things you can do (I won’t get into it here) that you train yourself to actively
listen and eye contact (total focus) and I’m literally hearing everything you are saying
and I did that for 45 minutes with this guy.
He just kept opening up more and more and a smile came across his face about five minutes
in and it wouldn’t leave.
20 minutes in he’s telling us funny stories and anecdotes about his family and stuff and
it just kept on going and at about the 45 minute mark (I remember that well) he goes
“You know what man?
I’m not going to give you this position.
I can’t…this position…you are better than this.
I can’t do that to you.”
And that broke me for a second.
I didn’t speak but I was like “What did he say?”
And I went right back to listening to him and he goes “Listen man this is the worst
position.
I’ll tell you what, I want you to come and meet the president of the company, he’s
got to meet you.
Hang on one second.”
And he got up to leave and I’m like “Oh my gosh?
What’s going on?”
He goes down and gets the president.
He calls me and we walked down to the president’s office and he introduces me to the guy and
the guy is like “I hear great things about you.
We’d love to have you on board.
I’ve given him full authority to give you this route and this district and this territory.”
And I’m like “Okay, great.
Nice to meet you.”
They sat me down and offered me this really great job.
The first thing was like a $30,000 a year job and I ended up with them offering me I
want to say $80,000 a year plus bonuses and commission which would end up being like I
don’t know $150,000 a year maybe?
Maybe more?
This is 20-some odd years ago with a car, with insurance, with a cellphone with a laptop,
full benefits right out of the gate in one of their best territories.
Film Courage: Did you take it?
Dar: No.
No and there was two reasons why.
Number one I was stunned.
I couldn’t believe that just happened.
I was just doing this acting, listening exercise that this is…wow?
And I was just kind of tripping because of what had happened with what the actress and
I when we were doing this exercise the night before.
Both of us fully aware of what was going on.
But she couldn’t help it.
The same thing that happened to her on a much more personal level happened in the room with
that gentleman (with Mr. X).
And I just “Wow!”
And I thought about it.
I was like “I can’t do that job.
That’s a job-job man.
Why am I going to go do this?
I can’t take time off and work.
I can’t go audition in the middle of the day.
I can’t do that.
And so I respectfully declined and he said “Listen, you are a winner!
You’re on your way.”
I didn’t say anything.
I just listened to the man.
Film Courage: Did you ever think about that job if there were a few bumpy times and thought
“I should have taken it” or when there were bumpy times were you like “I’m glad
I never took that job because that’s a full, committed career?”
Dar: Well, yes it is.
He was like “Listen, you’d have my job.
I’m kind of glad.
You’d have my job in 6 months if you were here.
I can see it in your eyes.”
I’m like “What the heck is this guy talking about?”
Probably a mixture of both, back and forth.
When I was like “Oh my gosh!”
But ironically when I decided not to take that job I just kind of went on a tear and
started working back to back to back to back to back.
But it would have been nice in a lot of ways.
I remember the class I was in that occurred I mentioned to the guy who was teaching the
class about that and he was a real…like…wrestling with his own demons (that’s all I’ll say).
He wasn’t almost the most pleasant cat which was one of the reasons why I was like “I
can’t be with this guy.”
And it was kind of bittersweet because this exercise that we done I thought this is so
amazing.
However, the personality leaves so much to be desired.
I don’t want to be around that anymore.
I’m getting ahead of myself…so I told the guy what had happened in this job interview
four or five days before and he looks at me and goes “Don’t do that.
Stay in this business.
You stay here and keep doing this.”
And that was like the nicest thing he’d ever said.
And I was like “Where the heck did that come from?
Thank you but where did that come from?”
I don’t know.
It was interesting.
Film Courage: It’s interesting when you have someone who doesn’t have to be nice
to you and they end up giving you a compliment.
I think that might be a little more trustworthy.
Dar: You are right but I think that guy should be nice because he’s taking money from people
to provide a service and behaving opposite of that.
I’m not that guy.
I’m not.
Film Courage: I hear you.
Dar: I can’t be around that guy or that gal.