Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier
and welcome back
to the horrible place in the middle of the ocean that is:
RAFT
Now this is an updated version of the game
I'm late to the party
but I'm gonna play it anyway
because this is Version 1.05
instead of Version 1.04
and a lot of stuff has apparently been added to the game
So
I'm going to encapsulate the entirety of loneliness that is
my own sanity
whenever I go into this world that I... live in.
This is...um...
I'm dead....I...I'm like dead
Yoo *chuckle*
I'm like dedy
Uh...I'm pretty-
I'm like dedy guys
I'm pretty ded
I'm pretty sure
that, uh, this ain't gonna go well for me
oh~
At least I got my hook~
SO!
The difference being-
I don't know what the fuck the difference is~
BUT!
I know that WAYNE BRADY ain't dead no more
because I'm startin' over again
I gotta build my LONELINESS perch
to be able to declare my loneliness
to the nobody that's around me.
O hey Wayne Brady.
Am I not gonna get-
oh, there's
ONE
floating frond of...something
OHHHH, there it is!
HEEEEYYYY, Wayne~
Waaaaaaaaaaayyynnnneee~~~
How ya been, maaaan?
I'm a big fan~
Just not a big fan of you biting the ass of my boat.
Oh, also,
some people pointed out:
that I was dumb.
I know.
"Happens all the time!"
BUT!
Someone pointed out:
that I was dumb...
aand
ooh, hang on, I need to
*mumble mumble*
Can I pick tha-
I'm not pickin' that u-AHHH
Wayne, don' do that.
WAYNE
WAAAAYNE
okay :D
All right, let's try that again
without being dumb.
Can't pick up and swim at the same time, apparently
Apparently, that's just CHEATING...
*Mark tossing sound*
*sound of something being caught interpreted by Mark*
Gotcha- oh come on
Haboooooooski~
Gootcha~
*Mark moans*
Wayne, did you see that throw?
are you impressed by me yet?
Wayne
Wayne-chan
Wayne-senpai~!
God dammit
When will Brady-senpai notice me...?
hoh! *throw*
I'm gonna be farming for a bit
because obviously, I gotta get back
I don't want you guys to be like:
"Where's the progress, Markiplier?
"Where's the progress, Markiplier? We came here for
"Where's the progress, Markiplier? We came here for competent
"Where's the progress, Markiplier? We came here for competent RAFT"
"Where's the progress, Markiplier? We came here for competent RAFT gameplay!"
Yeah
"And not to watch you lose your mind
"And not to watch you lose your mind like an idiot
"And not to watch you lose your mind like an idiot in the middle of the ocean."
"Why would we do that?"
"That's-"
"That's- are you stupid?"
"That's- are you stupid?" "Oh wait, yes you are!"
"And lonely!"
"Yeah, we know."
I get it: the insults hurt my feelings and emotions and I
*quick stammer*
in my 'hypothetical scenario'
I actually hurt my own feelings just there.
And I actually feel
I feel sad now, BUT
I'm gonna just-
I'm gonna just- I'm gonna just-
do this the best that I can
Ohhhhhhh
Ohhhhhhh SKADOOSHKI
And then, uh...
*quietly* I'll be back in a second
*quietly* I'll be back in a second, I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
OH YEAH WAIT
I forgot to even talk about why
You guys were saying I was stupid!
Oh, yeah!
So!
Some people
I DUNNO WHY
I DUNNO WHY I DUNNO WHY
Why
Why am I stupid? Ah
Mystery
Mystery to everybody
No one knows.
It's just an enigma.
I
built all of my valuable stuff:
my cooker,
my water purifier,
my other things that I was ta-
I have no idea what they are
But I built them all
like
on
on ONE square
like, if this was my only square,
I built them all right there instead of in the middle.
Where Wayne
Where Wayne COULDN'T
bite the ass off of all of my economy.
So
Yeah, thazzz...
somethin' I'm not gonna do
somethin' I'm not gonna do I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This time, maybe
WHO KNOWS
I'm dumb~
I'm dumb and lonely~
and all my friends are dead
Except
Except Wayne~
But I'm gonna kill him.
Ahhhhh
No, that sounds weird
I'm not gonna kill Wayne Brady.
I'm gonna kill THAT shark
whose name HAPPENS to be Wayne Brady!
That'll get me out of court *chuckles*
Yeah, that'll go well for me!
So, long story...
way too long introduction...
and story...short
short
I'm dumb,
I'll be right back.
As I...
expertly
wha- Wayne
What're you doin', Wayne?
Wayne
Little too close there, buddy boo!
Little too close!
I don't appreciate that!
I know you're not a stranger, so "stranger danger" doesn't apply
But you can
still shut
the FUCK up
I'll hook you, bitch.
Does wadenbrady have to choke a BEATCH?!
WELL CHOKE YOURSELF!!!!
Alright, do I have enough to start building?
Do I?
Do I have it?
Have I got it?
AXE? Since when I need an AXE?
OOOOHH
Chopoo downoo treez
I see how you do.
Okay, so, I need to make this.
Blehblehblehblehblehbleh
I need to make this: one nail at least.
Two cans?
HMM I probably need that base materia-
OH! A Standing lantern.
[GASPS] A CHAIR!?
THAT'LL GO PERFECTLY ON MY LONELINESS PORCH!
YES!! It's genius!
Whoda thunked?
I didn't thunk. I don't thunk anything.
I got dis'. I gonna fish now.
Oh, look at me: I'm fishing.
HEY
FISH
GET IN MY MOUTH and then go out my ass!
'Cause that's how eating works!
Gimme! Alright, I gotta raw mackeral.
I'm gonna eat that.
HEY! fucking godammit!
I'll hit you with my hammer
I'll fish you outta the ocean BIATCH!
You THINK? Oh, you think.
Oh, you think you can just
Eat away at my bullshit!
Well, FRICK you.
I don't have enough to defend from you
So, all I got are insults.
I'm the internet,
I can't actually do anyth... *laughs quietly*
oh, I should shut up.
Give me more metal. I know. I know I'm dying.I know
I know. It's my everyday life. I get it.
eeeEEEEEEaaaaaah!!!
I'VE GOT IT!
LAAAAAAH right there! That's a good
JAH!
That's a good one! oh, that's the best one!
Okay, good thing I got this.
uh blEahh
put this on. aand I'll gather more bullshit.
pblblt, survival. More like...
...I'm bored.
I apologize. my humor is normally top-notch
and that was just sub-par.
I-I'm at fault. I feel like we're all at fault for y-you guys allowing this to happen.
Alright, is this done yet?
No it's not done.
Oh, the sun's gonna go down. I don't remember the sun going down last time.
I remember it being all day all day long.
Hey, Wayne. How 'ya doin'?
You want me to stab you?
y-you want me to?
I'll do it y'know. I don't wanna
you're asking for it. gimme one more piece of metal.
I need to make a-hoo...
whoa. I am dying. I'm dying.
pick up drinkable water! Drink this water!
right now. Whoa, boy. Drink it!
I drank it? I think?
okay, I think I drank that.
okay! Now this is going bad for me.
So, I'm gonna make...
I'm gonna eat this.
YUM. YUM.
Goody-goody gumdrops. Okay, sooo
I just need to make another...
well, I needta make a spear first. cuz I'm gonna die
if waidenbrady comes back on me.
I'm gonna also eat a potato
right...
Yeah I am, fuck yeah that's good stuff
Come to me!
Come to papa!
right, well at least I'm doing a little bit better.
*begins singing*
🎵JUST NEED ONE🎵
🎵LITTLE THIIIIIING!🎵
🎵I JUST NEED OOOONE🎵
🎵PIECE OF SHIIIT!🎵
I don't think there was a day and night cycle before
Then again. as I've reiterated
I'm quite dumb
alright. da-doo-der-doo-duh
(doos and das)
🎵put that in my body🎵
🎵Gimme some metal!🎵
🎵Do you have metal?🎵
🎵Anybody want some metal for me?🎵
🎵nonono you don't. 🎵
🎵What about a lantern? that's a new thing!🎵
That - Oh, godammit! Wayne Brady!
F**k off! Hey!
Dick! right in the eye!
Fuck off Wayne Brady! huh?
you think you can be cool?! No!
(smart muttering)
So, Imma do this and I'm gonna put this rightmmmmmmm
Right there? AW YEAH!
HELL YEAH, BRAH
Hell yeah, brah
HELL yeahbrah
Okay, so, salmon cook
Alright, you cook up baby boo
You cook up!
I KNOW! I KNOW, I'M NOT HEALTHY! gugggh
*singings* Ah lee LAAAA di dee
La de dee da!
🎵I'm gonna put a potato in a plant.. pot... thiiiiing!🎵
Gonna put- mmmmm
Yeahahahahahahah- oh yeah!
That's good, oh yeah that's good!
Alright, put drinkable water, cook that
Woh, mackerel, oh hell yeah, in my belly
Okay, put that over there
get- let's get some - get some fi-
FISH! GET IN ME!
COME ON! IN ME NOW!
Hey! Get in me!
Okay, cool! good
Cooperate
Alright, finally, it's the break dawn
and I can see shit
See Wayne Brady still being an asshole over there
You wanna stop being an asshole for 2 seconds, Wayne Brady!?
HUUUH?
Don't make me call Ryan Stiles!
Don't make me! I'll do it
I don't wanna do it, but I'll do it
Nom nom
Okay - eyyyy my heart gone back up, baby
I feel looooove again!
What was that?
It was just sea
Wuh - fatigue?
I'm not in the water!
Come on, what do you think I'm dumb?
Woo- I see metal over there
Gonne get you!
I'm getting you!
Finally, okay! I think I got more scrap now
*sounds in Mark language*
Cause I'm gonna build!
I'm gonna build around my thing
hehheh just like this!
I'm smart, guys! I'm smart! I'm defending
Ey, look at me! Look how smart I am!
See gu- you see, guys?
I'm gonna get that! I built that just to get the scrap
Look guys, I'm smart!
Look, I'm sm- look how smart I am!
GUYS! LOOK HOW SMART I AM!
Cook baby- HEY! HEY!
HEY! WAYNE!
GODAMMIT WAYNE!
AW-DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS!
WAYNE! STAHP EEETTTT!
I'm gonna kill you, and I don't want that!
Kinda want that, but-*mutters*
Don't make me want it, ya know?
Don't tease me.
I just wish people would ask for what they want!
Instead of hinting at it!
Okay...
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-I
okay, I got more rope now, okay, so
I got more rope.
I can build more...nets
which would be- EYYYY WAYNE!
WHAT'RE YOU DOING WAYNE! WAYNE!
Wayne! I know you want my mackerel but SHTAP IT!
WAYNE! *insulted*
*squeaky voice* My godamn raft!
*tiny voice* I think this is the...
this is *normal voice* a little too much
I can't handle this, Wayne
Wayne, you're a bit of a- you're an ass.
*quietly* You're an asshole
HABOOKski
Alright, so I'm tryna pull
tryna get a f- quintuple pull here, baby!
Yeah! Oh yeah
Oh, is that a quintuple pull?
Oh what's that you're saying?
They would have gone in my net anyway?
Welllaaaaall right, you're a-
you're a crazy person, cause that one didn't!
Alright, didn't then either
Okay, alright, just gonna keep flailing like a madman
Thank you
Thank you for that, okay.
Ummm, I guess I can make another planter
but I don't want to do a whole lot.
I need to storage- I need a chest!
Hell, yeah, I need a chest!
Oh hell yeah!
Okay, that's good.
That's the first time I've "leveled up"
to be able to get a chest
So how 'bout put this chest of valuables right by my-
oh, never mind.
Right by my...
How does it open?
Does it open that way?
I'm gonna put it right by my...
lantern, but not in the way...
right....
THERE!
Okay, that's a good spot, I like that.
So now I've got a chest that I can store stuff
all of my extra wood and shit.
All my wood- I'm gonna get so much crap now
that I got all this net!
Nothin' BUT net!
Got it
Now it's all wide-
Ayeeyeyye! Wayne!
You're goin' for the net?!
My nets!
Dude! I just put those down there!
Stop it! Hey!
Bitch! I'm gonna-
Ah- a few more stabs, and you're a dead
shhhhhark man
Okay! So I'm pretty much back to where I should have been
I know you've been listening to me blab for the last
15...10 minutes - I don't know how long
But! Hey! I finally gotten back to where I need to be!
Does that mean it's the end of the episode?
Nooooo!
COURSE IT'S NOT!
I HAVEN'T DONE- what have I done?
NOTHING!
"But Mark, when has that ever stopped you from ending an episode before?"
SHHHHH- you're right, I shouldn't be mad at you.
But!
Now I'm a changed man *laughs*
I meant that *laughs*
I- I'm not- eh, the irony of my laughing at that
is not...is not lost on me.
I'm a changed man *chuckles*
I swear *laughing*
*still chuckling* I swear I'm a changed man-
Stop!
Stop laughing!
It's not funny!
I'M A CHANGED MAN!
I'm-I'M HERE FOR CONTENT!
I'M HERE FOR SKILL!
*starts laughing again* I'm here to show you
how GOOOD I can be at games!
That's why I'm here!
*laughing quietly* My YouTube channel's all about it, guys.
What, you don't believe me?
Ahhh, you're so smart. *chuckles*
...idiot again, okay
Rotate that way, that's a better way to do it
Put that there, Imma even this out-ugh
I hate these
Whas- you can't fix 'em, that's the way it is!
It's...sss..s
The imperfections are what make it beautiful.
Right? That's what happens, right?
Ok, what am I making?
I'm making aaa ramp, that's right.
stairs
take me to other floors
of course
that's, THATS why we do these things that we do
rotate that
uh, yeah
oh that's nice
oh THATS good
*smacking sounds*
YeeeeeeasssSSS??
Is this what I want?
I don't think that's what I waaaaaant
I think this is what I want
Hang on, let me just-
I HAVE NO ROPE
GIMME ROPE DAMMIT
Ok, which way is correct
Not THAT way!
that
this
and that
Wayne, waddaya doin?
You getting jealous?
aaa I know.
I got a lot going on for me.
I'maaa getten big in this sphere
So what imma do here is I gotta
I
The only thing I really wanna make is my loneliness perch
which is
like OBVIOUSLY that's the only thing I wanna do
why would I want anything else?
well I ran out of...
whatever the hell I need right now
I don't even know what it is
PILLARS?
BOINK
ok, got a pillar
now I need to make another foundatiunn
boop
ok got that now I need to make a flur
lemme make dat
RIIIIIIIIght
dere
ok hablOOsh
ok!
alright!
I think this is coming together
It's almost there
not quite
needs a... little more HOMELY touch before I'm done with this
UMMMMANDTHENA
let's say uuuUUUUUUUUUUUMMM BEEP
WELL ALRIGHT that's a good place for that!
ALRIGHT
OK!
I got my loneliness perch
Can Is it down on that?
I'll just stand on it
you know standing's as good as sitting in my book
YEAH
YEAH LOOK UPON MY KINGDOM
and uhh...
fuck u wayne brady
that's what Imma say on my first
uhhh
DECREE
on my loneliness perch
and also...
I just wanna do a few quick things right here
to no one, cause no one's here
i am lonely
umm
I just wanna say
you've been
wayne
I
wayne
WAYNE
GOD DAMMIT WAYNE
I KNOW IM LON-
ohh you're dead now
oh
what's that?
hah
hu
HUH
you tried
and then you died
ohhh what does that say about
YUUUUuuuuuuu
alright now that I'm OFICIALLY lonely and I have ABSOLUTELY no friends
which is what I wanted from the beginning everybody can go awAY
UUH
here
So now that, uh, everybody has settled down, Im gonna take my little piece of Wayne Brady here and use it as a
blunt instrument
to make my POINT
ON MY LONELINESS PERCH
alright now LISTEN UP THIS TIME DONT
DONT DONT DONT DO NOTHING YOU'RE GONNA REGRET
OKAY?
AIGHT ok her-
I HAVE NO ONE BESIDE ME
THERE IS NO ONE I CAN CALL MY OWN
EVERYONE I'VE KNOWN AND LOVED
didn't DIE,
they PUT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN because
I was
"INSUFFERABLE"
BECAUSE
"THEY COULDN'T TAKE IT
ANYMORE"
BECAUSE
"I'M ANNOYING
TO THE POINT WHERE
PEOPLE
WANT TO
DIE"
WHATEVER
I'm just LETTING YOU ALL KNOW THIS
NO ONE
SO THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND MY FEELINGS
CAUSE SHARING EMOTIONS SHOULDNT BE PUNISHABLE BY
PLACEMENT ON A RAFT
get it?
IIMMM LONEEELLYYY
ok
alright then
hey look! stuff!
that's almost as good as friends
I need to up- increase production because it's not meetn standards
imma put this-
Im gonna make them counter-wumpus to each other
I like the word counter-wump-
th-thats a good one
alright well let's put this one counter-wumpus d-d-
THATS a good one
that's gonna be hard to collect
aw I didn't, I didn't make that efficient at all
GOOD
great
exactly what I was hoping for
alright is Wayne Brady back yet?
OHHHH there's wayne brady
ohhhhhohhh ok
too good to STAY DEAD
ohhh ok
that's what they told ME when I tried to be alive,
and look what HAPPENED to me!
In the middle of the ocean!
with no friends, sooo
you should consider yourself lucky
idiot
now one a THESE
alright, where should this one go
OH I, I KNOW, YOU KNOW, I've never really explored the possibility of
NIGHTTIME LONELINESS
so that, that's a thing I'd like to do
liiiike right aboutttt heya
let's make that improbable
it is not, it didn't work
alright, you know I'm good for that
BOINK
ok that's, that seems stable
good to have fire right by my
my BOAT
made of WOOD
yum
YUM
oh, wayne brady tasted GOOD
alright, so I got potaders
plantplantplant
plantplantplant plantplantplant
plantplantplant plantplantplant plantplantplant
ok we're good
glad I did that
that was a CHORE
that definitely
makes all my suffering seem worth it here in the open ocean with nobody to hold me
tight at night and call me lucy
aye don't question mine
I won't question yours
just looking for somebody to call me Lucy and hold me tight
is that so hard?
apparently it is
alright, yep, things are looking good!
things are looking up
I mean they're not looking up, I'm still just as, uh, lonely as ever
and sad
but you know, I, I've grown accustomed to it
i don't think
you know I don't think
I don't think
people need, um other people, in this world
I think they just need their little piece of uh, Wayne Brady
Uh, the clone of Wayne Brady over there
or, is that Greg Proops?
Greg?
Greeeg?
Gre- AW it's Greg.
It's Greg aww he's coming right for me
GrEEEAAAGGG
Greg Proops!
Aw man, yeah I'm a big fan
But if you could stop that and go to hell,
I'd like that a lot
ok
So Wayne Brady's dead
I ate him
every bit of him
he was delicious
oh wait one more morsel
mmmnomn
that was good stuff
So I'm just gonna be up here on my loneliness perch and uh,
now I've got a good platform with which to keep playing this game maybe!
If it decides to keep the save files, but
i bet it wooooont
you know, eh it's good! it's good
you guys wanna see more of this? I'll, I'll
I'll lose my mind a little more on camera for ya
It's not too bad I do it every video so what's this different?
SO
THANK YOU EVERYBODY SO MUCH FOR WATCHING
I hope you enjoyed this, so let me know how I did in the comments below and what you wanna see
Maybe I'll spell out "I'm lonely" in just... raft boards all along the ocean so that everybody
from space when they're having a cool time without me,
can see how LONELY I AM!
So thank you everybody for watching, and as always, I will see YOU... IN the next video. BUH-BYE!!
goodbye sun
you're leaving me too I see alright goodbye